General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
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Summer Safety Tips -
06-11-2015, 08:44 PM
It's summer, everyone! That means it's a good time for some tips, reminders, and pointers for on safety and elegance of Summer outdoor living.
1. Keep Negroes AWAY from Swimming Pools.
Obviously, if any Negro accidently gets into your pool, the water must be drained and the pool scrubbed, rinsed, and re-scrubbed with a sanitizing bleach solution. Just to be safe, a good rule of thumb is do NOT let Negroes get within the distance from your pool which they would travel after being hit by a car moving at 35 mph.
2. Hire Only White or Asian Servants to Clean Your Pool.
Make sure your pool area is being cleaned and maintained only by White or Asian servants. You may want to do routine DNA or ancestry tests to screen out stray Negro family history.
3. Consider Fences, Dogs, and 24-Hour Guards for Your Pool.
It's a good idea to have a fence with guards around your pool to keep the Negroes out. You know they want to swim. They are crafty and relentless. They will get into your pool area if they can. You might also consider large dogs. Negroes do not like large, vicious, barking dogs, and they will probably find another pool if yours is guarded by bare-toothed vicious dogs.
4. Just Pave Over Your Pool if You Can't Maintain It Properly.
As you can see from the above tips, it's difficult to maintain a pool properly. If there is ANY chance that your pool might be contaminated by swimming Negroes, you might as well fill in and pave over your pool. Just turn it into a patio.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Summer Safety Tips -
06-11-2015, 09:13 PM
Do not allow residents to host 'pool parties' at your pool.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Summer Safety Tips -
06-11-2015, 09:47 PM
Every negro I have ever seen has been incapable of floating. They all sink as if there were 300 pounds of cement blocks chained to their waists.
I cannot count the number of times I have discovered one of them in little (who cannot swim in a 3' X 8' hole?) swimming hole that I promptly had to bulldoze over.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
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Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Summer Safety Tips -
06-11-2015, 10:34 PM
Look, just don't leave things around that will attract them. Make sure your wallets are well hidden, no fried chicken, no BBQ'ing, no watches or jewelry and for the love of all that is Holy; NO WATERMELON.
Just bring your bologna sandwiches (on white bread).
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: Summer Safety Tips -
06-12-2015, 09:09 AM
I've seen studies that suggest that injuns and nigra's can detect an open can of malt liquor a mile away. I would suggest that if you're toasting one with Jesus after a hard day's work you at least procure a container with a tight fitting lid. Posting "Baptism" signs around your pool fences might also keep them away.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
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Re: Summer Safety Tips -
06-13-2015, 02:18 AM
Also, cooling pies on window sills near swimming pools is NOT recommended.
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