Cranky Old Man's ROCK SOLID Predictions For 2011!

[Cranky Old Man]

I have prayed to Jesus for accurate predictions for next year. Those who have been in Freehold for a while longer will remember my past predictions to be extremely accurate. My predictions about the global warming hoax, the Watergate hoax, the death of Michael Jackson (not that this was hard to predict) and the volcano in Iceland all turned out to be 100% accurate. Matthew 21:22 "And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive."

(1) Massive U.S. power grid failures
Obama's refusal to solve our energy problems will result in several large scale power grid failures in 2011. To prepare for this you can buy a diesel generator. And if you have one of those why not switch it on permanently so you won't even notice when Obama makes the power grid fail! To make sure the generator doesn't pollute the environment paint it in the same color as your house.

Diesel generators can also be used to heat your house:


(2) Nuclear War in The Middle East
Obama's refusal to fix some simple problems in the Middle East will result in nuclear war between North and South Korea. Since those are far away you can mostly ignore this. Just make sure you don't go on vacation there.

Yes it will:


(3) Justin Bieber will die in a car accident
This will happen while he is having Gay sex behind the wheel. Unfortunately this will cause a surge in sales of his horrible music, but this will fade away after a while after which he will be forgotten. Once in Hell he will be used to torture the damned for all eternity.

Justin Bieber hates America, he drives a European car:


(4) People will discover Steve Jobs is dead and Apple will go bankrupt
Steve Jobs has already been dead for two years but Apple keeps pretending him to be alive so Apple's board of directors can still use his body for Gay sex orgies. At some point the smell will become too hard to bear though and the truth will come out.

Apple doesn't even try to deny it:


(5) Earth will cool down even more
Just to show those silly God mocking hippie vegan child raping environmentalists how stupid they are God will throw in more blizzards than ever before. I also predict that this will not keep Al Gore from insisting that Global Warming is not a hoax, while he goes on burning insane amounts of fossil fuel to keep his mansion going.

It doesn't get more silly than Al Gore:

[Firm Believer]

Re: Cranky Old Man's ROCK SOLID Predictions For 2011!

(3) Justin Bieber will die in a car accident
This will happen while he is having Gay sex behind the wheel. Unfortunately this will cause a surge in sales of his horrible music, but this will fade away after a while after which he will be forgotten. Once in Hell he will be used to torture the damned for all eternity.

Justin Bieber hates America, he drives a European car:

He's Canadian, so why should he love America? Besides his fan base. And a lot of people drive foreign cars. Ferrari, Lamborghini, Volkswagen, Mercedes, and many other car brands.

[jennabenna]

Re: Cranky Old Man's ROCK SOLID Predictions For 2011!

(5) Earth will cool down even more
Just to show those silly God mocking hippie vegan child raping environmentalists how stupid they are God will throw in more blizzards than ever before. I also predict that this will not keep Al Gore from insisting that Global Warming is not a hoax, while he goes on burning insane amounts of fossil fuel to keep his mansion going.

It doesn't get more silly than Al Gore:

I don't think you fully understand global warming. Saying that a cold winter means no global warming is like saying that because the poor people down the street got some canned food from the food bank, poverty and starvation are myths. Which they are not.
It's climate change, not global warming. The pendulum swings both ways. Cold winters, hotter summers.

[SUV]

Re: Cranky Old Man's ROCK SOLID Predictions For 2011!

I predict another Y2K!

[Brother Scott]

Re: Cranky Old Man's ROCK SOLID Predictions For 2011!

I don't think you fully understand global warming. Saying that a cold winter means no global warming is like saying that because the poor people down the street got some canned food from the food bank, poverty and starvation are myths. Which they are not.
It's climate change, not global warming. The pendulum swings both ways. Cold winters, hotter summers.

People starve because they're too lazy to work.


And I can say in all honesty that there is snow on the ground where I live, not to mention it's cold out.....hence you're global warming "theory" (myth) is debunked.

When will you insane God mocking liberal hippy marijuana smoking atheist socialist America hating tree huggers stop with the lies?

[Firm Believer]

Re: Cranky Old Man's ROCK SOLID Predictions For 2011!

People starve because they're too lazy to work.


And I can say in all honesty that there is snow on the ground where I live, not to mention it's cold out.....hence you're global warming "theory" (myth) is debunked.

When will you insane God mocking liberal hippy marijuana smoking atheist socialist America hating tree huggers stop with the lies?

Not all people starve because they are to lazy to work. Many people are out of work and can't find a job.

[Felicity]

Re: Cranky Old Man's ROCK SOLID Predictions For 2011!

@Firm Believer Why don't they pray for jobs?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Cranky Old Man's ROCK SOLID Predictions For 2011!

He's Canadian, so why should he love America?

Justin Bieber is Canadian? That explains a lot. All Canadians hate America because they are jealous of being losers while we all are winners.

And a lot of people drive foreign cars. Ferrari, Lamborghini, Volkswagen, Mercedes, and many other car brands.

A lot of people have Gay sex. That doesn't make it right.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Cranky Old Man's ROCK SOLID Predictions For 2011!

The pendulum swings both ways. Cold winters, hotter summers.

Hm. Winter cold, summer hot. That's an amazing observation! You've proved climate change! You should be a scientist! Or maybe write a book or something.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Cranky Old Man's ROCK SOLID Predictions For 2011!

Hm. Winter cold, summer hot. That's an amazing observation! You've proved climate change! You should be a scientist! Or maybe write a book or something.

Do you think she got that smart in college? I got to tell ya that was a huge waste of money if thats the case.

[jennabenna]

Re: Cranky Old Man's ROCK SOLID Predictions For 2011!

Picking and choosing words makes you no friends. You know what I mean. Winters will get colder. Summers will get hotter. It's funny really, how you can ignore 108 degree heat, muttering that it's always that hot, but the moment the thermometer dips below freezing, you jump on it.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Cranky Old Man's ROCK SOLID Predictions For 2011!

Picking and choosing words makes you no friends. You know what I mean. Winters will get colder. Summers will get hotter. It's funny really, how you can ignore 108 degree heat, muttering that it's always that hot, but the moment the thermometer dips below freezing, you jump on it.

You seem to be accusing us of what climate crazies are actually guilty of. Oh! Record heat waves! People dying in France! Forest fires in Russia! Floods in Pakkyland! We're all going to DIE! Then you shut up when winter hits and blizzards hit half the US.

Resting up your vocal cords for when spring rolls around, I guess.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Cranky Old Man's ROCK SOLID Predictions For 2011!

Picking and choosing words makes you no friends. You know what I mean. Winters will get colder. Summers will get hotter. It's funny really, how you can ignore 108 degree heat, muttering that it's always that hot, but the moment the thermometer dips below freezing, you jump on it.

So winters are getting colder. Yet in 1950 my father used to skate regularly in Vancouver. In 1988 the petaphiles freaked out when Lost Lagoon froze over, so they made the city spend thousands on bird feeders. Now the city has a goose problem, gee who could have predicted that? Then in 2010 there was no snow for the Olympics. They trucked snow in from other parts of the province. Many a joke was made about the "greenest Olympics ever".

I haven't lived in Iowa long enough to understand the weather here.

************************************************** ******
As for Brother COM's predictions for 2011.

1. I wouldn't be surprised. I have oil lamps and a lot of wood for the fireplace. Worst case scenario, we can always roast a dog.

3. Are you sure he won't be killed by his Negro lover?


5. Well since our local liebral lezbean has proven that they swallow whatever BS their masters throw at them, it doesn't really matter if it gets colder, hotter or stays the same. They're all still going to scream about Global warming being caused by eating meat, driving cars and HFCS.

[HeLovesYou]

Re: Cranky Old Man's ROCK SOLID Predictions For 2011!

Jesus talked to me and told me a prediction for 2011 as well. He told me that Cranky Old Man will finally reveal himself as a homosexual. I didn't want to believe it, but Jesus Himself told me, so it must be so...

Cranky Old Man, you must repent for your sins!

[Bible Student]

Re: Cranky Old Man's ROCK SOLID Predictions For 2011!

Jesus talked to me and told me a prediction for 2011 as well. He told me that Cranky Old Man will finally reveal himself as a homosexual. I didn't want to believe it, but Jesus Himself told me, so it must be so...

Cranky Old Man, you must repent for your sins!

Spawn of Satan, still your lips and fingers. Did you miss the rule about respecting you elders, i.e. True Christians(tm) while we tolerate Unsaved Trash at Landover Baptist Church? You could make better use of your fingers turning the pages of a 1611 King James Bible.