[Johny Joe Hold]

I try to keep myself with an even temperment as much as possible, but I have to admit I get upset, even angry, once in a while.

It happened today. I was meeting with the Lunch Menu Committee of Freehold Public Schools when I caught something on next month's menu:

Tuesday: Fun Falaffels

Thursday: Desert: Benny's Baklava

After I calmed down, I tried to patiently explain these are Muslime dishes, not ever to be presented to our Christian children. "Do you realize," I asked the Committee, "Both the 9/11 and Boston bombers probably ate this stuff before attacking Christians?"

They tried to explain that Benny's Baklava was named after evangelist Benny Hinn, formerly an Arab.

But, I told them under no uncertain terms, terrorist foods like falaffel and baklava will not be served to Freehold's Christian children.

[Nobar King]

They're closed, now, thank God, so I can admit that I was the person who threw a brick thru the window of the Falaffel house in Cedar Rapids on 1st Ave. We don't want your Falaffels or your Gyros here in Iowa.

[VictoryOS]

Isn't a falaffel one of those sponges you use in the shower? I'm confused. No wonder the terrorists are always trying to blow everything up if that's what they eat.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Originally Posted by Nobar King

They're closed, now, thank God, so I can admit that I was the person who threw a brick thru the window of the Falaffel house in Cedar Rapids on 1st Ave. We don't want your Falaffels or your Gyros here in Iowa.

Gyro? I thought a gyro was something a whorish stripper did with her hips.

[Nobar King]

That, too. It's also some kind of immigrant sandwich.

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson

Gyro? I thought a gyro was something [else].

What's wrong with a good old fashioned spit roast? All the gabbling countries seem to have no agriculture left since they started ogling false prophets. I was actually served some "Iranian soup" the other day, it was like dried black bark in marmite tea with fungus. I left.

They all sound like gateway foods to me. First it's a pile of minced goo on stale bread, next it's semtex and Christians at dawn.

MATTHEW 7
13 Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:
14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
16a Ye shall know them by their fruits.
KJV

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor

What's wrong with a good old fashioned spit roast?

That's what I asked the Menu Committee. They seemed to have no concept that food is a political and religious statement.

We cannot allow our children to share the same food experience as those God most hates.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

The kids should be having steaks for lunch. The boys anyway.

[Nobar King]

Anything, especially foods from the Chech republic should be banned!