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Reload this Page QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever!
Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

View Poll Results: What results did you get from the quiz?
I am a perfect Christian and am going to Heaven! Praise Jesus! 796 92.67%
I am filthy unsaved scum who deserves to burn in Hell. 63 7.33%
Voters: 859. You may not vote on this poll

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(#81)
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Zechariah Smyth's Avatar
Zechariah Smyth Zechariah Smyth is offline
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Default Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 03-01-2011, 03:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerakk View Post
I almost got a 99 =(

I was thrown off by the question "Can a 90 year old woman get pregnant" and I almost answered maybe.. but then I remembered that if God can make a virgin pregnant then he can most definitely make a 90 year old woman pregnant. Praise Jesus I got a 100, now I don't have to worry about going to hell.
Brother Jerakk, that is also the one that almost threw me!

At first I was curious how a man's seed could find purchase in such a barren field, but, like you, I remembered:

"But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible."
(Matthew 19:26)

PRAISE!!!



YiC,

Z. Smyth


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Kali thelesbianpagan Kali thelesbianpagan is offline
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Kali thelesbianpagan is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Kali thelesbianpagan is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Talking Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 03-19-2011, 08:38 AM

Wow you people who actually, think homosexual people deserve death and black people are slaves and woman are not equall to men, i pray to the goddess for you, you are white supremmisists , your gay haters you are sexist. your god would not want you to hate. The god you follow would want you to accept us and try to convert us. your god would want you to meet us with love and understandig.
I am gay that is not a sin, I am a woman that is not a sin,
Im on the right track baby i was born this way.

Goddess loves you anyway



gay and proud
see you in hell
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Kali thelesbianpagan Kali thelesbianpagan is offline
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Kali thelesbianpagan is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Kali thelesbianpagan is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 03-19-2011, 08:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
I know the biblical answers but seeing as I neither agree with them nor believe in god heaven or hell, I guess I'm going to............ Cleveland?
go rachel you rock
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Default Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 03-19-2011, 09:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kali thelesbianpagan View Post
Wow you people who actually, think homosexual people deserve death
No, we don't think that. God thinks that. We just follow God.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

Quote:
your gay haters you are sexist. your god would not want you to hate. The god you follow would want you to accept us and try to convert us. your god would want you to meet us with love and understandig.
I am gay that is not a sin
Do you have any Scripture to back up that nonsense? Especially since you said "your God" so you apparently know something about the Bible that we don't know. It's one thing to judge us and disagree with us about certain things...it's an entirely different thing to claim that the Bible says something that supports your point of view when it doesn't.



Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

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Default Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 03-20-2011, 05:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kali thelesbianpagan View Post
Wow you people who actually, think homosexual people deserve death and black people are slaves and woman are not equall to men, i pray to the goddess for you, you are white supremmisists , your gay haters you are sexist. your god would not want you to hate. The god you follow would want you to accept us and try to convert us. your god would want you to meet us with love and understandig.
I am gay that is not a sin, I am a woman that is not a sin,
Im on the right track baby i was born this way.

Goddess loves you anyway



gay and proud
see you in hell
This is a very powerful prayer against Witchcraft. This prayer can shut down witches and satanists forever. Being that this prayer basically shuts down the senders of the hexes and vexes by returning their evil to them sevenfold. I hurl it at you nownownow in Christ's name!

Father,
In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I plead the precious uncorruptable blood of Jesus over myself and my church and everything that belongs to us. I ask for giant warrior Angels to be loosed from Heaven to surround and protect us. As your war club and weapons of war I break down, undamn, and blow up all walls of protection around all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, and the like, and I break the power of all curses, hexes, vexes, spells, charms, fetishes, physic prayers, physic thought, all witchcraft, sorcery, magic, voodoo, all mind control, jinxes, potions, bewitchments, death, destruction, sickness, pain, torment, physic power, physic warfare, prayer chains, and everything else being sent my way or my family members way, and I return it and the demons to the senders right now!, SEVENFOLD, and I BIND it to them by the Blood of Jesus!

Father, I pray that these lost souls will find the light of your son Jesus.. Their own snares and traps have been set against themselves.. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth I now loose them from all mindcontrol of satan!.. Father I also ask that you Bind the Holy Spirit to there hearts as a guide to your son Jesus.. So they may be set free from the bondages of satan.

In Jesus name I pray..
Amen


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Kali thelesbianpagan Kali thelesbianpagan is offline
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Kali thelesbianpagan is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Kali thelesbianpagan is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Talking Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 03-20-2011, 11:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
This is a very powerful prayer against Witchcraft. This prayer can shut down witches and satanists forever. Being that this prayer basically shuts down the senders of the hexes and vexes by returning their evil to them sevenfold. I hurl it at you nownownow in Christ's name!

Father,
In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I plead the precious uncorruptable blood of Jesus over myself and my church and everything that belongs to us. I ask for giant warrior Angels to be loosed from Heaven to surround and protect us. As your war club and weapons of war I break down, undamn, and blow up all walls of protection around all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, and the like, and I break the power of all curses, hexes, vexes, spells, charms, fetishes, physic prayers, physic thought, all witchcraft, sorcery, magic, voodoo, all mind control, jinxes, potions, bewitchments, death, destruction, sickness, pain, torment, physic power, physic warfare, prayer chains, and everything else being sent my way or my family members way, and I return it and the demons to the senders right now!, SEVENFOLD, and I BIND it to them by the Blood of Jesus!

Father, I pray that these lost souls will find the light of your son Jesus.. Their own snares and traps have been set against themselves.. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth I now loose them from all mindcontrol of satan!.. Father I also ask that you Bind the Holy Spirit to there hearts as a guide to your son Jesus.. So they may be set free from the bondages of satan.

In Jesus name I pray..
Amen
ok First off i am not in the "bondages of satan" or the "mind controll of satan" I controll satan for no man hath controll over me.
secondly boga boga boooo!
oh look im still a witch, oh gods damn guess it didn't work.
Also i am above hexing sexist gaycist biggots who claim to be christians
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Kali thelesbianpagan Kali thelesbianpagan is offline
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Kali thelesbianpagan is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Kali thelesbianpagan is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Talking Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 03-20-2011, 11:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
No, we don't think that. God thinks that. We just follow God.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.



Do you have any Scripture to back up that nonsense? Especially since you said "your God" so you apparently know something about the Bible that we don't know. It's one thing to judge us and disagree with us about certain things...it's an entirely different thing to claim that the Bible says something that supports your point of view when it doesn't.
oh piffleing jesus damn, I can't find the bible verses to support my "nonsense" because I burnt my bible yesterday,aint that a kick in the ass.
But i know your god is a god of love and who loves everyone not just the holier then thou woman bashers and gay haters like you. i have knowledge about your god because i used to be a *shivers* christian, my grandpa is a god damn priest. and i know that jesus loves the sinners and the nut job christians. the things you guys say would make your god cringe.
I will gather a group of my wiccan friends and do a ritual to the goddess for you.
I invoke the great mother goddess to show thesee zealots the truth.
That all life is equall, that all love is love and pure, not just hetrosexuals.
That black people are equall to white, woman to man. in your name i ask that the demons that so clearly are deep in thesee men and womans souls are drawn out.
blessed be in the goddess's name so mote it be.

gay and pagan as ever love Kali
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Kali thelesbianpagan Kali thelesbianpagan is offline
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Kali thelesbianpagan is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Kali thelesbianpagan is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Talking Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 03-20-2011, 11:56 AM

I have two questions how am i "sexing it up for satan" i'm a lesbian and satan is a man/demon.
And does me saying boga boga boooo
really scare you, it's god damn gibberish not a curse.
I really fear for you guys
so as a parting note wooga boga iffy izle make this forum his and fizle.
(in case you can not tell that is NOT a curse.)



as always love ya guys(i mean girls)
kali
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Alphonse Alban's Avatar
Alphonse Alban Alphonse Alban is offline
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Default Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 03-20-2011, 12:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kali thelesbianpagan View Post
i'm a lesbian and satan
It must be horrible to have that lesbian disease, but there is still hope for you. If nothing else helps you, I suggest taking trip to South Africa. They've had quite positive experiences on curing lesbianism.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=61639
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Kali thelesbianpagan Kali thelesbianpagan is offline
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Kali thelesbianpagan is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Kali thelesbianpagan is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Talking Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 03-20-2011, 12:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban View Post
It must be horrible to have that lesbian disease, but there is still hope for you. If nothing else helps you, I suggest taking trip to South Africa. They've had quite positive experiences on curing lesbianism.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=61639

Hey if it's a diesease im glad god gave it to me
(although we really know twas not god but the goddess)
Im on the right track baby i was born this way
love you all anyway
kali
ps still gay
pps still pagan
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Alphonse Alban Alphonse Alban is offline
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Default Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 03-20-2011, 12:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kali thelesbianpagan View Post
Hey if it's a diesease im glad god gave it to me
(although we really know twas not god but the goddess)
Im on the right track baby i was born this way
love you all anyway
kali
ps still gay
pps still pagan
I am sure retard is quite happy being retard as he does not understand that being normal is better.

So no need to freak up with the smileys. It is good that you are content the way you are. I was just trying to be friendly and helpful, by telling you that things don't have to stay the way they are for you. Your life will be much better if you are cured from lesbianism.

That of course still leaves you pagan, but one step at the time

Don't give up hope.
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Kali thelesbianpagan Kali thelesbianpagan is offline
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Talking Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 03-20-2011, 12:50 PM

pppppssss felicity
I frankly don't give a flying f u c k if jesus doesn't like me being a pagan but thanks any way.
oh a thougth just occured to me how do you know jesus doesn't like it did he email you?
did he pop in for wine and mention it?
well tell him i said say high to archangel michael, and tell him to tell michael im sorry bout what i did last time but the ass hole had to be stopped and helping lucy (lucifer) was the only way i could save my girlfriend and tell god im sorry for swearing at him, oh shit tell jesus im sorry i punched the holy outta him, but no one hurts my girlfriend.



love yall as ever
Kali goddess of chaos and destruction
ps is this how you see me?
devil girl is hot
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Alphonse Alban's Avatar
Alphonse Alban Alphonse Alban is offline
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Default Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 03-20-2011, 01:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kali thelesbianpagan View Post
*too foul to repeat*
Well aren't you foul mouthed. As you clearly are expert on no-manners, could you answer why heathens are always so vulgar and rude. Is it just vulgar and rude are automatically heathens as well.

Oh by the, as you worship Kali that makes you Hindu. I really don't care how those dot-heads call each other, but does that not offend other Hindus that you call yourselves as pagan.
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Default Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 05-21-2011, 06:05 PM

I'm curious, I am going to hell according to this quiz, but I was wondering, to go to heaven you must answer all the questions yes, but I am confused by question nine, Unicorns exist? do Christians really believe this?
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Default Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 05-21-2011, 06:24 PM

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Originally Posted by chriskamara View Post
I'm curious, I am going to hell according to this quiz, but I was wondering, to go to heaven you must answer all the questions yes, but I am confused by question nine, Unicorns exist? do Christians really believe this?
Of course they exist. They wouldn't be mentioned in the Bible if it weren't true, would it? Why don't we see them now? I don't know. Perhaps they are very rare or completely extinct.

Job 39:9–10 Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib?
Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow? or will he harrow the valleys after thee?

Psalm 29:6 He maketh them also to skip like a calf; Lebanon and Sirion like a young unicorn.

Isaiah 34:7
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness.
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Default Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 05-21-2011, 08:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson View Post
Job 39:9–10 Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib?
Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow? or will he harrow the valleys after thee?

Psalm 29:6 He maketh them also to skip like a calf; Lebanon and Sirion like a young unicorn.

Isaiah 34:7 And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness.
Don't forget Numbers 23:22! I love that verse... God is as strong as a unicorn!

Oh, and I passed the test! I hope that I will go to Heaven when I die!


Proverbs 14:1

Every wise woman buildeth her house:
but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
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Default Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 05-26-2011, 07:39 PM

I scored zero...

Oh well...
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Default Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 05-27-2011, 03:42 AM

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Originally Posted by AChild View Post
I scored zero...

Oh well...
Enjoy hell, godmocker.



Happy 55k


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 05-27-2011, 08:54 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Happy 55k
Wow! You surely have done great work herewith heathens.

What comes to the test, I was kind of surprised how easy it was. Month ago, I would have failed it miserably, but now I just had Faith and could do it in 20 seconds.

YiC,
M


Romans 1:18 - For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness;
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Default Re: QUIZ: "Am I going to HEAVEN or HELL?" Most accurate test ever - 05-27-2011, 06:42 PM

I passed


Genesis 1:24
And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind: and it was so."
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