Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians)
Reload this Page Hollywood Persecutes Christians Again: Joan Rivers "Marries" Two Men, For Real!
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden Public Awareness Medal

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Hollywood Persecutes Christians Again: Joan Rivers "Marries" Two Men, For Real! - 07-03-2014, 12:47 AM

How a Jewess can be an ordained minister is something foreign to any logical, moral, civilized person, but nonetheless, apparently she is. Joan Rivers officiated a so-called "wedding" for two men. You can see by the laughing in the video, this was naught but a mockery of our LORD and His Divine Will to limit marriage to One Man and One Woman (or one woman and her servants, Genesis 16; or one captive sufficiently prepared, Deuteronomy 21:11-14; or a number of women; or a purchased slave girl, Exodus 21:7-9):




Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts True Christian Nerd GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hollywood Persecutes Christians Again: Joan Rivers "Marries" Two Men, For Real! - 07-03-2014, 09:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
How a Jewess can be an ordained minister is something foreign to any logical, moral, civilized person, but nonetheless, apparently she is. Joan Rivers officiated a so-called "wedding" for two men. You can see by the laughing in the video, this was naught but a mockery of our LORD and His Divine Will to limit marriage to One Man and One Woman (or one woman and her servants, Genesis 16; or one captive sufficiently prepared, Deuteronomy 21:11-14; or a number of women; or a purchased slave girl, Exodus 21:7-9)
This is an inevitable continuation of the development and work of SATAN undermining the efforts of True Christians™ in order to gain as many souls into HELL as possible. Satan's in a hurry, as RAPTURE is closer than ever.

Initially, however, I misunderstood your post slightly and thought that the Rivers woman had engaged in polygamy by marrying two men simultaneously. I have to admit, that I would not have been surprised at that, either. However, this open attack against everything that is PURE, BEAUTIFUL and GODLY is even worse!

I am still sure, Dear Sister Mary, that one day VERY SOON, you and I and other True Christians™ will sit comfortably in HEAVEN by the River of Bliss with light sparkling refreshments and riparian entertainment in the form of cries of ANGUISH from these sinners, including the Rivers woman. That will be a happy moment, indeed!

John 10:28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.

Dear Sister, how awesome that verse is. We are also there in that beautiful verse, never to perish, never to fall out of God's Grace. And with the eternal spectacle of Hell-bound souls withering in the Furnace to keep us from boredom!

Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Attila's Wife's Avatar
Attila's Wife Attila's Wife is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Most Obedient True Christian™ True Christian Lady Best stoning bucket Touched by Jesus True Christian Beauty Ex-eurotrash Real American™ In Love With Zeke One Year/1000 posts Hands Off

 
Posts: 1,941
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: With Jesus
Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hollywood Persecutes Christians Again: Joan Rivers "Marries" Two Men, For Real! - 07-03-2014, 10:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
How a Jewess can be an ordained minister is something foreign to any logical, moral, civilized person, but nonetheless, apparently she is.
This is doubly shocking, because I had absolutely no idea that "Joan Rivers" was a woman. I thought it was the on-stage persona of one of those transvestitists, like Dolly Parton and Eddie Izzard.

I suppose we can take comfort in knowing that she had absolutely no idea what she was doing? So even if she is an ordained minister (in what church - do we know?) this muddled 30-second ceremony made a mockery of the law.

Galatians 3:19 Wherefore then serveth the law? It was added because of transgressions, till the seed should come to whom the promise was made; and it was ordained by angels in the hand of a mediator.

So it would have no legal validity whatsoever and was just done to offend decent folk.


2 Timothy 3:16

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
WWJDnow's Avatar
WWJDnow WWJDnow is online now
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Australia Saved 1 Year Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Porn Resistant Pro-Life Bronze Tither Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 2015 Witch Hunt Award Trump of GOD Asked questions later Persecuted Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Stamp of Approval Hands Off BFF of Jesus Polling for Christ Anti-Biden WWJD

 
Posts: 6,766
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hollywood Persecutes Christians Again: Joan Rivers "Marries" Two Men, For Real! - 07-04-2014, 10:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
I misunderstood your post slightly and thought that the Rivers woman had engaged in polygamy by marrying two men simultaneously. I have to admit, that I would not have been surprised at that, either.
It would have surprised the heck out of me, unless both of the men were deaf and blind.


Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved