General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS -
04-27-2017, 03:38 PM
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS -
04-27-2017, 03:52 PM
Thank you, Sister. It is my birthday and I am off very shortly to attend a luncheon in my honor. We will be dining on the Chicken Ambassador, which is a recipe that seems to be known to all chefs who cook for luncheons. I have heard a rumor that I will be given a lifetime achievement award for my work among the unsaved, attempting (mostly unsuccessfully, sadly) to bring them to Jesus.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS -
04-27-2017, 04:13 PM
Happy and Blessed Birthday, Brother in Christ!
Many experts on the immanent issue of the End of Days agree that glorious Nukes will be employed during the Tribulations (Revelation 9-16) that are about to commence as Jesus is fed up with the Sinner Swarm! May you soon bask in the radiant afterglow of God's Weaponry and celebrate your next Birthday with Jesus Christ in Heaven. The Prophet tells us that it will be so!
Isaiah 24:1
Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty, and maketh it waste, and turneth it upside down, and scattereth abroad the inhabitants thereof.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,158
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS -
04-27-2017, 06:29 PM
Have a Blessed Birthday, Brother Alvin!
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS -
04-27-2017, 06:39 PM
Thank you for the birthday wishes. I am returned from my luncheon and I was in fact given a lifetime achievement award by my congregation here in Texas. I arrived just in time to see a fire truck departing and the police taking away the featured speaker. Apparently, he arrived an hour early and in his cups. After being shown into the banquet hall, he removed his clothes, set them on fire, climbed onto a table and gave his speech to the catering crew. I don't know how this happened as Mrs. Arbeiter, the head of the luncheon committee, told me that he had come highly recommended.
However, even this fiasco was unable to derail the festivities. I gave a short speech of acceptance, we all ate the chicken and then I returned to my home.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,776
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS -
04-27-2017, 08:42 PM
Happy birthday, Brother, and congratulations on the Lifetime Achievement Award. Now that you have that, you can rest on your laurels until Jesus comes to take you to your heavenly reward.
Warmest regards from all the family,
Joanna
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS -
04-27-2017, 09:14 PM
A birthday poem for you:
Alvin is so wonderful
He means so much to me
He always gives me good advice
On land and on the sea
He listens to the Lord above
He prays and tithes and worships
He doesn't tolerate sin and stuff
And he prays and tithes and worships
So Happy Birthday Alvin,
The good Lord made you great
And now I'll end my poem
So I can masticate.
I'm hungry.
The End.
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
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Posts: 11,354
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS -
04-27-2017, 10:11 PM
Wishing you the blessings of the Lamb of God on your birthday.
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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Another brick in Donald´s wall - A.K.A "The Gonz" True Christian™
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Posts: 2,111
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ungodly South America
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS -
04-28-2017, 12:49 AM
Happy birthday Brother Alvin. I feel you are one of the closest members to me here.Do not worry: this feeling will pass once the wall is built, then you will as far from me as our brothers in Europistan.
1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS -
04-28-2017, 04:40 AM
Greetings and Happy Birthday from Yankee land Brother Moss.
We're consuming some authentic Chateau de Versailles Marie Antoinette cake here in your honor.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS -
04-28-2017, 03:14 PM
Many thanks for all the good wishes. Next year in Heaven.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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