Hi friends how are you I am fine. Well not too fine really as you know I have been out of the halfway house and trying to stay out of trouble. well I was riding the subway a few weeks ago and I saw a very pretty girl sitting on the subway with her legs spread wide.
I knew I should just look away but the Bible says to rebuke sluts so I thought I would give her a gentle but firm public rebuke like it says to do in Matthew 18:15-17.
So I called her a whore and told her it would serve her right if she got raped right there on the subway car.
So far so good right? Only problem is the more inflamed with righteousness I became the more inflamed...
Well.
A part of me became inflamed that was not supposed to be. And then the next thing I knew I was touching it through my clothes and tell her how much I knew she wanted it and I committed adultery with her in my mind.
There was also some contact with law enforcement associated with this incident and surprisingly it was not she that the police wanted to talk to.
Anyway I have been trying to put this awful ugly incident behind me but then I was on Facebook today and my feminist lesbian cousin linked to this article and it was the same woman from the subway and this was very, very, very triggering to me.
WHY DO GUYS SPREAD THEIR LEGS WHEN SITTING ON THE SUBWAY? MY WEEKEND OF SITTING LIKE A MAN AND ACTING LIKE A GIANT WHORE JUST TO MAKE SOME POINT ABOUT HOW MUCH I HATE MEN
Now that I have been triggered by this reminder of her whoredom and the bad thing she made me do I am worried about what might happen next.
In the support group we learned about "not acting out" but I am afraid I am going to act out again.
Please, please, please, please pray for me thank you.