[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by Jim Farmer

No damned lieberals.
No poofters
No "concerned individuals"
No darkies
No slants
No poofters
No joos (at least not in the Christian section)
No women
No ay-rabs
No poofters

And no Rule 6.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

This is my favorite Scripture on the subject of Heaven:

Revelation 21:21 - 21:25 And the twelve gates [were] twelve pearls; every several gate was of one pearl: and the street of the city [was] pure gold, as it were transparent glass. And I saw no temple therein: for the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are the temple of it. And the city had no need of the sun, neither of the moon, to shine in it: for the glory of God did lighten it, and the Lamb [is] the light thereof. And the nations of them which are saved shall walk in the light of it: and the kings of the earth do bring their glory and honour into it. And the gates of it shall not be shut at all by day: for there shall be no night there.

Imagine. Streets made of gold.

I am inspired to write a Sermon on the subject.

[ConcernedNumbskull]

I'd prefer iridium streets myself, but okay.

[SoldierofChrist]

Praising Jesus up close and personal!

Never having to sleep; it distracts from prayer time

No more illness.

No more gays

[Pooter kid]

10 things I'll do in Heaven

1. Say hi to God.
2. Meet my deceased friends and family.
3. Wave to Satan and say: Hello Satan! You're stupid. And Satan can't do anything because I'm in Heaven.
4. Look down at the earth.
5. Eat food without getting fat.
6. Chase after some hot Angels.
7. Meet famous people who are dead like me such as Christopher Lee (May he rest in peace) and Robin Williams (R.I.P)
8. Say "pootis" a bazillion times.
9. See if aliens exist.
10. Crouch and give people sandviches.

[Nobar King]

I'd like some peace and quiet. Is that too much to ask?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

I think it will be fun to:


Lounge around on clouds while eating grapes and listening to harp music.

Change my outfit in a blink of an eye.

Never have a bad hair day again.

Giggle at people I tried to save. I will also whisper in their ears "I told you so." LOL!!


GLORY!

[DemonThinker96]

Those of you who are saying women don't go to Heaven: aren't souls genderless?

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

My husband assures me that women can go to heaven provided that they are Saved True Christians™ and have lived decent lives as obedient wives. He says that Brothers Cranky and Jim Farmer are just teasing us ladies, and I believe him because he is my husband and Cranky and Jim are not.

I'm looking forward to never again having to supervise domestic staff. Honestly, how difficult can it be to cook, clean, and do the laundry for a family of 13? In fact there are only 12 of us now since Faith got married, so Agnieszka ought to have time to spare.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Having my marriage mean something again.

[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by DemonThinker96

Those of you who are saying women don't go to Heaven: aren't souls genderless?

Their answer is in the Bible. Why haven't you read it yet?

[Witch Hammer]

Originally Posted by DemonThinker96

Those of you who are saying women don't go to Heaven: aren't souls genderless?

1 Corinthians 15:42
Dullard, our resurrected bodies will be physical in nature, not vague, misty ambiguous ghosts. We are talking immortal flesh and bone here! We will be raised from the dead incorruptible, just like Jesus was, Shout Glory!

If you are implying that Jesus rose from death minus His penis, then you are more lost than I ever could have imagined.

[Midge Murphy]

I think not menstruating or pooping will be very nice. Sometimes when I am on a hot bus, I think I can smell my own crotch. The comfort of knowing it's not me will make heaven worth the sinless life I lead to get there.

[Witch Hammer]

Originally Posted by Midge Murphy

I think not menstruating or pooping will be very nice. Sometimes when I am on a hot bus, I think I can smell my own crotch. The comfort of knowing it's not me will make heaven worth the sinless life I lead to get there.

Well, your nose is much closer to your unclean region than a real person's is, so it is no wonder that you recoil and gag at the noxious fumes thereof...but that which is filthy & malodorous, Jesus will wash clean, and that which is broken, He shall fix! I marvel at His Grace...to lift up a lowly, disgusting dwarf (no offense!) and make her whole, what a gift! I look forward to seeing you stalking the Avenues of Heaven on Golden stilts, sister, without even a hint of your prior, mind-numbing stench or entourage of house flies. Bless you, girl!

[BuddyBraeswood]

Originally Posted by Bob

Playing ANY video game in GOD MODE!

NICE!

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

No taxes

FOR SURE!

First, was always told Heaven is greater than anything imaginable - how awesome is that!
1 Corinthians 2:9
Nothing our fleshy minds can fathom comes close to the treasures awaiting in God's Kingdom.

A few things I've pondered though...

Praising God and Christ - talking and walking with and having a party of course
Running through fields with my grandparents, getting to tackle them finally
Flying around the city, racing Angels
Going through a proposed star, scuba diving without a breather
Know animals don't have souls but still think it would be quite cool to wrestle with a lion, tiger or bear - OH MY!
Watching all those who were in power on earth that did nothing but seek their own selfish motives, BURN

Hallelujah!

[Evan Tomas]

Watching all the atheists burn in hell.

[Witch Hammer]

Originally Posted by Osiris

Watching all the atheists burn in hell.

...from a ground-level perspective...

[arthur frayn]

Originally Posted by DemonThinker96

Honestly, Heaven sounds boring. Worshiping all day everyday, never doing anything different. I'd rather be in hell chillin with the devil

Oooh, you will, evil brother! chillin between bouts of fire!!

And, as those of the negroid persuasion do not have souls, we'll not find them in heaven.

When they die, they are gone, forgotten for eternity.

A select few (the evilest ones) will be selected for eternal punishment.

I will be in such awe, I will be speechless.

A F

[WickedWitch]

Originally Posted by thread title

Things you're looking forward to in Heaven

Having a whole new forum to post in.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by WickedWitch

Having a whole new forum to post in.

There are no forums up in Heaven. And there are certainly no privileges for obese degenerates like you. In fact one of the things I and most True Christians™ are looking forward to being able to watch scum like you down in the underworld while you are anally sodomized by every demon in hell. Oh how we'll laugh as we listen to your screams and watch your agony unfold as we enjoy a cold beer up in Heaven with our loving Savior.

Luke 16:20-26

20And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, which was laid at his gate, full of sores,
21And desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man's table: moreover the dogs came and licked his sores.
22And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried;
23And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.
24And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.
25But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented. 26And beside all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed: so that they which would pass from hence to you cannot; neither can they pass to us, that would come from thence.