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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-27-2015, 03:56 AM
A few days ago, the weather forecasters, who foolishly try to divine God's plans, were predicting rather normal weather for the godless northeast region of America. Today, God decided to cover the entire region with several feet of snow. Those Yankees are somewhat resourceful, so I doubt they will all freeze, but I expect there will be a thinning of their heathen population. His will be done.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-27-2015, 04:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss
but I expect there will be a thinning of their heathen population. His will be done.
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Well thank God! It's about time!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Pathetic Liar
Under Investigation
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Posts: 21
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Location: orally servicing strangers in the park
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-27-2015, 12:45 PM
Lol wat if you go by that logic then god hates the christian Midwest all those tornados every year
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-27-2015, 01:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistPotsmoker
Lol wat if you go by that logic then god hates the christian Midwest all those tornados every year
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Jesus does not smite His own, idiot.
Has it not dawned on you that there are a lot of atheist meth addicts in that area?
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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True Christian™ Beauty Queen
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Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-27-2015, 04:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistPotsmoker
Lol wat if you go by that logic then god hates the christian Midwest all those tornados every year
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There has also been a tornado tearing through your brain in the form of pot smoke, destroying all brain cells in its path. Put down the marijuana cigarette and pick up a KJV1611.
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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Unsaved trash, avowed godmocker
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Posts: 187
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: New York
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-27-2015, 09:49 PM
You are right. God made us tough..
Mark 13:22
“For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.”
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-28-2015, 03:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by alooneymormon
You are right. God made us tough..
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No doubt that there was a lot of praying going on out in the Northeast, and things are looking up. The Godly Republicans are now in control of the House and the Senate, and the Holy Spirit did guide you here to the Landover Baptist Forums for a reason. Jesus is sending all a message about His Salvation® and has some hope about your final destination.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-28-2015, 03:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by alooneymormon
You are right. God made us tough..
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No, I said resourceful. Yankees are about as tough as the French. There are a few bad ones with knives, but most are sissies. You have the tenacity of rats. I believe it is the Jew influence. God hates you and people like you. Hell is full of your tribe.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-28-2015, 03:56 AM
Yankees are the product of every race that God hates interbreeding. The absolute worst qualities of each of those races are combined into one foulmouthed mongrel race unfit for decent society. While evolution is an outright lie, Yankees show that humans can indeed devolve into subhuman ranks through indiscriminate racial fornication.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Pathetic Liar
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Posts: 21
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Location: orally servicing strangers in the park
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-28-2015, 01:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles
Jesus does not smite His own, idiot.
Has it not dawned on you that there are a lot of atheist meth addicts in that area?
YIC
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Has it not dawned on you that the conservative south has a pretty bad meth reputation as well?
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Pathetic Liar
Under Investigation
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: orally servicing strangers in the park
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-28-2015, 01:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS
There has also been a tornado tearing through your brain in the form of pot smoke, destroying all brain cells in its path. Put down the marijuana cigarette and pick up a KJV1611.
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I think you have been misinformed on Mary Jane for I use for a legit medical reason suffering PTSD fighting in a war we had no business being in the first place, alternative forms of pot do not work
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-28-2015, 01:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistPotsmoker
I think you have been misinformed on Mary Jane for I use for a legit medical reason suffering PTSD fighting in a war we had no business being in the first place, alternative forms of pot do not work
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Stolen valor is serious business, kid.
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-28-2015, 01:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistPotsmoker
I think you have been misinformed on Mary Jane for I use for a legit medical reason suffering PTSD fighting in a war we had no business being in the first place, alternative forms of pot do not work
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God will send you to Hell for lying. The marijuana has ruined your ability to write a sensible sentence. Your structure is on a third grade level and you are lying about going off and fighting the Viet Cong.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Pathetic Liar
Under Investigation
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: orally servicing strangers in the park
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-28-2015, 02:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss
God will send you to Hell for lying. The marijuana has ruined your ability to write a sensible sentence. Your structure is on a third grade level and you are lying about going off and fighting the Viet Cong.
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You do realize I'm 29 years old so how could I fight the Vietnam Cong. Are you saying I'm a Time traveling phantom, your either a special kind of stupid or did you think the Vietnam war is still being fought today, btw a lot of military don't agree with the war either so don't go calling me a fraud becuase of that
Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-28-2015, 03:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistPotsmoker
You do realize I'm 29 years old so how could I fight the Vietnam Cong. Are you saying I'm a Time traveling phantom, your either a special kind of stupid or did you think the Vietnam war is still being fought today, btw a lot of military don't agree with the war either so don't go calling me a fraud becuase of that
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Post a scan of your DD-214.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 7
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-28-2015, 04:11 PM
I better start moving, as I live on Long Island! Luckily, my rent is paid up, so I can start packing ASAP.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 708
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Pajala, Sweden
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-28-2015, 04:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Lord's Archer
I better start moving, as I live on Long Island! Luckily, my rent is paid up, so I can start packing ASAP.
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What is so funny in that, mister?
Having sinners like Ron Jeremy and Lindsay Lohan as a neighbor is not funny at all.
Have you told them to stop?
Romans 1:32
1 Timothy 5:20-22
Stop seeing them!!!
1 Corinthians 5:9
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 7
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-28-2015, 04:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marko Loimaan-Aho
What is so funny in that, mister?
Having sinners like Ron Jeremy and Lindsay Lohan as a neighbor is not funny at all.
Have you told them to stop?
Romans 1:32
1 Timothy 5:20-22
Stop seeing them!!!
1 Corinthians 5:9
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I never meant for it to be funny, I was only glad about my rent. I'm sorry that it came off as me trying to crack a joke!
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Pathetic Liar
Under Investigation
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Posts: 21
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Location: orally servicing strangers in the park
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-28-2015, 04:46 PM
Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 7
Join Date: Jan 2015
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Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! -
01-28-2015, 05:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistPotsmoker
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Look, man, this isn't exactly the place to post that. Maybe you should find a soldier's forumn?
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