Easter is About Jesus - Period! A seasonal forum where we celebrate the true meaning of Easter. No bunnies allowed! |
|
Ring-kissing Papist dog
|
|
Posts: 3,358
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Vatican City...where we keep the good stuff!
|
|
Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-28-2012, 02:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
|
"Your eternal salvation is no shell game. Accept Jesus or the yolks on you!"
Bless you, my future ham sender,
Father Mo
.
A Cardinal in the making.
|
|
True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
|
|
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
|
|
Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-28-2012, 05:15 PM
Daisy, you can simply order me a spiral cut Virgnia ham and I'll pick it up, no need to ship it.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
|
|
Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-28-2012, 05:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by no father of mine
"Your eternal salvation is no shell game. Accept Jesus or the yolks on you!"
Bless you, my future ham sender,
Father Mo
.
|
Indeed. You have to accept Jesus (not Mary!) to be saved.
Bless you, my future ex-Catholic.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
|
|
Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
|
|
Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-28-2012, 06:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester
"Your eternal salvation is no shell game. Accept Jesus or the yolks on you!"
|
For once we are in agreement, Mr. Maurice (I think) (am still pondering if there's a snide, heretical joke in there)
Maybe the caption could be:
"You Have to Break a Few Eggs to be a True Christian™"
|
|
Unsaved trash
|
|
Posts: 59
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: The Bible Belt, PRAISE JESUS!
|
|
Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-28-2012, 06:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
|
Just a word of warning about those sprial sliced hams. When we lived in the city I used to buy one from our Honeybaked Ham store. (Mods pleasse remove the actual name of the store if those satanic lawyers they use would say that this is slander) I didn't think that it would be owned by the athiestic jews and catholics, but it was. I PRAYED for forgivness from CHRIST, and I know I've received it, but I also must warn others.
Our local HoneyBaked Ham store was owned by jews and catholics! They even hired lesbians to work there! It is not a place to buy food for a CHRISTIAN family!!
Also, I wouldn't buy any spiral sliced anything. The spiral is a pagan symbol. I wouldn't want it on my food!
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
|
|
Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-29-2012, 03:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
Best Caption wins an Easter Ham medal!
Good luck and remember JESUS is watching you.
|
An Easter ham medal??
"Happy Easter! You have this many chances left to permanently abandon your life of sin before I kill you and drop-kick you into My Lake of Fire. Is it 2? Or is it 1? Better ask yourself, punk . . . Do I feel lucky?"
"It was supposed to be 3 days, but I couldn't wait to give you the gift of Salvation!"
"This many George Carlin jokes crack Me up."
"TXTNG U MY <3: KJV1611 :)"
"GOT MY TXT? KJV! <3"
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
|
|
Unsaved trash
|
|
Posts: 59
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: The Bible Belt, PRAISE JESUS!
|
|
Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-30-2012, 03:39 PM
The Son Also Rises
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 216
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: The Netherlands
|
|
Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
04-03-2012, 03:09 PM
Salvation is not as easy as pulling an Easter bunny out of a hat. Live your KJV!
II Kings 2:23-24: 23And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. 24And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
|
|
Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
04-06-2012, 03:53 PM
"I'm back!"
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
|
|
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
|
|
Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
04-07-2012, 06:48 PM
And the WINNER IS.........
Brother Rodimer for this winning entry!
Fantastic Brother!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
"I'm back!"
|
Please enjoy your Easter Ham Medal and
A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF HONEY BAKED HAMS - Courtesty of Landover Baptist Church!
ENJOY!
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
|
|
Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
04-07-2012, 06:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
And the WINNER IS.........
Brother Rodimer for this winning entry!
Fantastic Brother!
Please enjoy your Easter Ham Medal and
A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF HONEY BAKED HAMS - Courtesty of Landover Baptist Church!
ENJOY!
|
In accepting this award, I'd like to thank . . . um . . . Jesus, of course! And God and the Holy Spirit. So really just the one, then.
Oh, yes, I thank the people of Landover too, especially Daisy Mae. I was just kidding!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|