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Satan's Entertainment Discussion for Movies/TV/Music/Video Games/Pop Culture. How HELLY-wood is destroying our society and parents can learn to protect their children from sinful influences like Disney, Pacman, and Tic-Tac-Toe.

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Freddy Osborne Freddy Osborne is offline
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Freddy Osborne has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureFreddy Osborne has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureFreddy Osborne has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureFreddy Osborne has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureFreddy Osborne has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureFreddy Osborne has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureFreddy Osborne has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureFreddy Osborne has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureFreddy Osborne has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureFreddy Osborne has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureFreddy Osborne has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Great Wolf Lodge: Pagan Coven!! - 12-07-2014, 10:10 PM

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

I apologize for my absence but Satan has once again set his sights on one God's favorite families. As many of you know, my wife and I were challenged by Jesus to save the souls of the neighborhood lesbos. Per my direct orders she has spent many an evening exchanging pie recipes and stories of everlasting love.

Everything has went so well these doomed genderbenders invited us to their poor adopted daughter's birthday party at some swanky resort called The Great Wolf Lodge. Seeing as how their daughter needed some Righteous influence, I decided we would attend and bring our own daughters. No doubt that this future rug muncher would fall on her knees and beg for Jesus once my properly raised children told her about the flaming Hell she was certainly heading towards.


Romans 1:26 "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:"


I should have known better... I quickly discovered The Great Wolf Lodge is nothing more than a Pagan Temple harboring witches and warlocks. It is advertised as wholesome family fun with wave pools, skeeball, and bowling. Then the evening entertainment begins- magic quests, talking beasts, and songs worshipping Mother Nature. I was appalled as children were equipped with magic wands and encouraged dress as demonic spell casters!

Any lesser man would have feared for his family and fled immediately. But not Freddy Osborne and his virtuous daughters. Pride burst from my chest as I interrupted these druids as they began to chant "The Rhythm of Nature" with the power of the KJV while my own daughters softly sang "How Great Thou Art".

Leviticus 19:31 "Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I am the LORD your God."

Praise Jesus! They were no match! I could see some of the lesser witches starting to tremble when one of the butchiest lesbians jumped up and begged me leave! Fueled by the Holy Spirit and my own Godly provided testosterone I threatened to drown this bulldyke in the name of Jesus if she laid a clammy hand on me or my kin!


That's when Satan revealed his truly diabolical scheme. The chief bulldyke indignantly proclaimed she had already poisoned the Osborne name by describing the unnatural seduction of my wife months ago. (I would go into more detail but I think it is more appropriate in the Men's forum.) Regardless, I was stunned and unable to respond.

Thankfully my own daughters were strong enough to help their poor, humiliated father stagger away from this witch coven before anything else afoul happened. It has been three months now and we have still not heard from Mrs. Osborne. Certainly the girls will miss their birth mother but I have helped them understand that Satan has taken her and we must push forward. The Lord willing their next mother will prove more Righteous.

Nevertheless, be warned friends!
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"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)

"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)
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