Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed! |
|
Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,071
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
09-19-2008, 10:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaron Portway
This thread is just too much! All this talk of ladies privates places, mushrooms, pee, fag love, and Hotshiti's facial hair are making me nauseated.
|
It can be difficult to have a mature conversation on these holy forums. Cooter mushrooms are serious business. I wish the Unsaved© would realize that.
|
|
Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
09-19-2008, 10:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb
That's a very ugly word, the word of someone who doesn't know how to express himself intelligently. For the record, I would be happy to get together with Hitoshi as a friend and learn more about his fascinating culture. I respect the Japanese a great deal. I also think we owe the Japanese a big apology for dropping atomic bombs on two of their cities and killing hundreds of thousands of innocent people. We also put Japanese-Americans in camps during World War 2 and that made us no better than the Nazis in my opinion and we as a country should be ashamed. Let me guess, I'm a "faggot" for thinking that.
|
I am a man of GOD! I read the Holy Bible daily and He speaks to me constantly, so I am far more intelligent than you will ever hope to be unless you get saved and start a personal relationship with CHRIST.
Japan is a disgusting cess-pool of filth and depravity where they poop on each other for pleasure and create satanic cartoons to lure young American children straight to hell! If anything, we need to drop a few MORE atomic bombs on those stupid buck-toothed heathens. Maybe it'll straighten their eyes out!
|
Unsaved trash, hippie dopehead
|
|
Posts: 156
Join Date: Nov 2006
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
09-20-2008, 12:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God
I am a man of GOD! I read the Holy Bible daily and He speaks to me constantly, so I am far more intelligent than you will ever hope to be unless you get saved and start a personal relationship with CHRIST.
|
Nice logic. Anyway I already had a relationship with Christ and we decided to see other people.
Quote:
Japan is a disgusting cess-pool of filth and depravity where they poop on each other for pleasure and create satanic cartoons to lure young American children straight to hell! If anything, we need to drop a few MORE atomic bombs on those stupid buck-toothed heathens. Maybe it'll straighten their eyes out!
|
I'm going to report your racism to the Japan-America Society.
|
|
Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
09-20-2008, 12:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb
I'm going to report your racism to the Japan-America Society.
|
I'm going to report your sinful rebellion to the LORD Your GOD. Wait a minute, HE already knows!!! You're going to hell.
Those Asianese mongrels have rejected CHRIST's precious love and have chosen to spit in His face by worshipping false gods and believing in false religions. You are no better if you cannot see the errors of your own ways!
The problem with people like you is that you are too afraid of being proven wrong and finding out your beliefs are a load of garbage to think logically or examine all the evidence. TURN OR BURN!
|
|
Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
09-20-2008, 05:39 AM
Brother Hatchet, I can assure you that I never, erm, performed "that" on my late wife's front bottom. These rumours - I know who you are! - are false, trust me.
Genesis 49:25
Even by the God of thy father, who shall help thee; and by the Almighty, who shall bless thee with blessings of heaven above, blessings of the deep that lieth under, blessings of the breasts, and of the womb:
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
|
|
God Squad
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You -
09-20-2008, 05:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by roserougesang
I think you got that confused with the urethra. That's not in the same place as the vagina.
|
Yes, you are correct. There is no Urethra in Virgina, or even West Virgina to the best of my knowledge. However you may have in your excitement made a typo. Perhaps typing when your right hand is busy and only using your left causes too many mistakes?
There is however a Eureka in Nevada, Utah, and even California. That's probably what you meant.
Men, in my days as a booze hound and a skirt chaser and a pervert, I had many cooter encounters, sometimes as much as 4 a year!
Yet, even in that state of filth and degeneracy, I never encountered a "Red Snapper". The Lord God was looking after me. He has other plans for my thingy. No teeth were there to bite it off.
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
|
|
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
09-20-2008, 06:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet
It can be difficult to have a mature conversation on these holy forums. Cooter mushrooms are serious business. I wish the Unsaved© would realize that.
|
I can understand the mushrooms and all the other things you mentioned Brother Hatchet. I myself have encountered them. One of the things that have not been discussed in this thread is the matter of yeast. Now I have encountered constant complaints of yeast from women. The stories in the Bible (KJV1611) about unleavened bread have always puzzled me. If the women always had yeast readily available why was it that they had to make bread without it?
I have also heard stories about cheese in cooters, but it never made much sense. The milk to make cheese comes from somewhere else, unless there is a property of cooters that I am unaware of.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
09-20-2008, 02:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb
I'm going to report your racism to the Japan-America Society.
|
What does a gook commuinist organization have to do with the topic at hand? Keep derailing threads and you'll get banned.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
Unsaved trash, hippie dopehead
|
|
Posts: 156
Join Date: Nov 2006
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
09-20-2008, 02:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
What does a gook commuinist organization have to do with the topic at hand? Keep derailing threads and you'll get banned.
|
Excuse me but a person of Asian heritage posted a picture of himself wearing a mustache and he was ridiculed so I came to his defense. I didn't just post something random, I responded appropriately to other posts within this thread. You need to read more closely before making serious threats like that. Also the Japan-America Society is a wonderful organization that promotes understanding and tolerance between Japan and America. I urge you to become a member, it will really open your eyes.
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
09-20-2008, 02:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb
Excuse me but a person of Asian heritage posted a picture of himself wearing a mustache and he was ridiculed so I came to his defense. I didn't just post something random, I responded appropriately to other posts within this thread. You need to read more closely before making serious threats like that. Also the Japan-America Society is a wonderful organization that promotes understanding and tolerance between Japan and America. I urge you to become a member, it will really open your eyes.
|
Hey pal, my eyes are open, because Jesus made them that way. It's the slants who need their eyes opened.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Scientific Advisor
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
09-20-2008, 02:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb
Excuse me but a person of Asian heritage posted a picture of himself wearing a mustache and he was ridiculed so I came to his defense.
|
Wow, we have our own little Don Juan here, don't we. Well, Mr. DickBob, what racist opinion are you going to burden us with here? This little chink has been a barb in our side for far too long. We've treated him with nothing but Godly respect and tried to lead him to the Light but he has defeated us at every turn. He came here to mock us with his photoshops, but such images are amusing to no one here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb
I didn't just post something random, I responded appropriately to other posts within this thread. You need to read more closely before making serious threats like that. Also the Japan-America Society is a wonderful organization that promotes understanding and tolerance between Japan and America. I urge you to become a member, it will really open your eyes.
|
Tolerance between Japan and America? Maybe *you* want to tolerate them, but ever since Pearl Harbor, I've been a little suspicious of the little slants. You can never see what they're thinking because their eyes are suspiciously hidden. I bet you want to have a Terrorist-America alliance too, don't you? I'm curious as to why you seem so ready to open America up for another terrorist attack. I think I need to call my friend Lance over at the Department of Faith for an investigatory report on your background...
Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
|
|
Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
09-20-2008, 03:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb
Excuse me but a person of Asian heritage posted a picture of himself wearing a mustache and he was ridiculed so I came to his defense. I didn't just post something random, I responded appropriately to other posts within this thread. You need to read more closely before making serious threats like that. Also the Japan-America Society is a wonderful organization that promotes understanding and tolerance between Japan and America. I urge you to become a member, it will really open your eyes.
|
Oh, so you think Asians can do no wrong then??? What if he posted naked pictures of himself smearing feces all over his yellow chest? Are we just supposed to TOLERATE that because he's ASIAN???
What if he were a decent white man? Would you defend him then?
I urge YOU to become a member of CHRIST's chosen church, and tithe to Him to make up for all the hurt you've caused.
Have you gotten around to REPORTING me yet? What'd they say?
|
|
Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,071
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
09-20-2008, 03:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God
What if he posted naked pictures of himself smearing feces all over his yellow chest?
|
The despicable monkey practically did that in my birthday thread.
|
|
Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 3,146
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Freehold, IA.
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
09-20-2008, 08:29 PM
The Unsaved© harvest them to put on their pizzas Brother Hatchet. There is no helping them.
YIC
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet
It can be difficult to have a mature conversation on these holy forums. Cooter mushrooms are serious business. I wish the Unsaved© would realize that.
|
Leviticus 26:27-29
27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
|
Unsaved trash
|
|
Posts: 43
Join Date: Oct 2008
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
10-01-2008, 06:09 PM
Well in that case....no BJ'S either!!!!!!!! It's only fair
|
|
One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
10-01-2008, 11:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melbran
Well in that case....no BJ'S either!!!!!!!! It's only fair
|
What are you talking about? What are these "BJ'S"? And three exclamation points should be sufficient for emphasis.
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
|
Unsaved trash
|
|
Posts: 43
Join Date: Oct 2008
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
10-02-2008, 01:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaron Portway
What are you talking about? What are these "BJ'S"? And three exclamation points should be sufficient for emphasis.
|
Aaron, once again, you are ugly. Please don't talk.
|
|
One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
10-02-2008, 01:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melbran
Aaron, once again, you are ugly. Please don't talk.
|
Excuse me?
I'd just like to make sure you said what I thought you said.
Yep, there it is.
Listen you little creep, you come into OUR forum and start insulting us, that is too much!
Do I go to where you work and tell you how service men for money?
You're on a short road to getting banned! So keep it up!
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
|
|
Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,071
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
06-03-2009, 02:53 PM
While further researching the revolting subject of cunnilingus, I discovered the exercises listed below. Apparently cunnilingus is quite tiring, and one needs to build up stamina. While I certainly do not condone "yodeling in the gully," I believe these exercises are useful in strengthening the tongue for extended periods of proselytizing. I urge all Landover men to perform these exercises daily so we are fully prepared to teach God's Word to others.
Quote:
Exercise 1:
Stick your tongue as far out of your mouth as possible, and then try to touch your nose. Once you are in this position, hold the same muscle groups still and begin moving your tongue around. Practice in sets, moving the tongue clockwise, counterclockwise, and up and down.
Exercise 2:
With a loose jaw, point your tongue while simultaneously trying to keep your tongue in constant contact with the top and bottom your mouth. Once you are in this position, practice moving your tongue in and out of your mouth. For the more advanced student, try keeping your mouth closed and circling your tongue around inside of it, while of course, maintaining position. An extension to the advanced exercise is trying to dissolve a lifesaver held in your teeth from the inside out.
Exercise 3:
Stick your tongue straight out of your mouth, trying to keep your tongue flat and relaxed. Slowly, while holding the position, practice curling the wide tip of the tongue upward, downward and side-to-side. Practice in five sets of ten, holding each move for 2 seconds.
Exercise 4:
Keep your tongue relaxed and open your mouth. Move your tongue in and out of your mouth forwards and in both directions. Practice in five sets of twenty.
|
|
|
Member of Landover Zoological Society
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 247
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: beyond the forbidden zone
|
|
Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!) -
06-03-2009, 02:56 PM
The last thing I need is some stinky tuna salad stuck in my mustache all day long.
Ack!
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|