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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Prayer Death Squads Reassignment -
07-01-2007, 01:07 PM
Mark your imprecatory calendars to lobby for the death of Demoncrat mayoral candidate Miss (with countless children, mind you!) Cloressa Washington all day Monday. The Pastors are asking that all current Landover Baptist Gold and Silver level Prayer Partners to disregard the Prayer Circle Hit List included in last Sunday's newsletter. Those who have begun prayers beseeching the Lord Jesus to dip Antichrist Hellary Rodman Cliton like a teabag into boiling liquid are encouraged to finish that heartfelt entreaty. All other prayer warriors are to immediately turn the Lord's attention to the more pressing political need of preventing a liebral nigress from turning Freehold City Hall into a rest stop for weary demons on their way to Des Moines.
For those of you wishing to learn the most effective ways to goad the Almighty into killing, maiming or otherwise inconveniencing, make plans to attend my "The Positive Power of Negative Prayer: Why Stop at Just Assassinating Their Character?" seminar in the Golden Cherubim ballroom off the main sanctuary. Thursday, 8:00 pm ($200 in advance/$400 at the door/ammo provided to the first 25 prayer warriors. Glory!!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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