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Focus on Family - Christian Parenting A place where parents can get good Godly advice on how to raise a family: how to properly administer corporal punishment, which movies to avoid, and more!

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Default Landover Christmas Service - 12-22-2017, 12:02 AM

I know a lot of you will be excited about what the under-10s have been doing during choir practice.

I have told them "It is our little secret" and I'm sure you have no idea. Well, do not spoil the fun and hard work they have put in, but I have to confess that, because of pressure from other Pastors to make the sermons "More Relevant", the Under-10s and I have been perfecting a couple of "New Arrangements" of carols.

The Under-10s will sing these after Pastor Zeke's Sermon.

Don't tell them that you know, but I would like you to sing along with them and so here are the words. And afterwards, a big round of applause please!

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Ec:7:16: Be not righteous over much; neither make thyself over wise: why shouldest thou destroy thyself?

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Default Re: Landover Christmas Service - 12-22-2017, 05:53 PM

How creative, Brother Bathfire! I am always amazed by the ingenuity of some of the people here.

Here's one of mine, though a modest effort in comparison. I'm not really a poet, and I usually have too much kitchen work to do to be bothering with silly stuff like writing.

Lame Secular Original


Frosty the snowman
Was a jolly happy soul,
With a corncob pipe and a button nose
And two eyes made out of coal.
Frosty the snowman is a fairy tale, they say,
He was made of snow
But the children know
How he came to life one day.
There must have been some magic in that
Old silk hat they found.
For when they placed it on his head
He began to dance around.
O, Frosty the snowman
Was alive as he could be,
And the children say he could laugh
And play just the same as you and me.

He led them down the streets of town
Right to the traffic cop.
And he only paused a moment when
He heard him holler "Stop!"
Frosty the snow man
Had to hurry on his way,
But he waved goodbye saying,
"Don't you cry, I'll be back again some day."
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Oh oh yeah


My Makeover

Frosty the homer
Was a very stinky slut
With a corncob up his butt (so gross)
He ought to be burnt with hot coals
Frosty was queerbag and fairy, (and a tranny!)!
It t'was not glue
That the children knew
That he came into their fanny.
Then that faggot shoved his winky in some
Old silk hat had found.
Then faggot Frosty took off his clothes,
and flashed himself all around
O, Frosty the pervert
Won't be alive for long.
Jesus will save the children from him
And clear out his sin, so wrong

He'll drag that fag down the street
Right to a border cop
And they'll pause once they reach Trump's Wall
So they can haul him overtop
Frosty the sodomite
Had to hurry on his way,
And how he cried when he soon realized
He's been deported to Mexico, for a one-way stay
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Oh oh Praise!


THE MOANS CHILDREN Adelaide Eunice Rush Crusher(FISHING ACCIDENT) Truth Lloyd Mildrew Angina (DIED IN A FIRE) Scooter Bud Carson Bobby (DIED IN A FIRE) Modesty(SLAIN BY A BULLET) Boomhauer Donald Grenadine Lysol(SUCKED BY A TORNADO)
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