Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-07-2006, 05:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Sue Vera
Ergot! Pastor! Is this not what the Salem Witches of the 1600s ingested to make them turn to Witchcraft and away from GOD???
SUV
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YES, Sister Sue, the VERY SAME STUFF! This 'Berto' is nothng more than a box of Queerios!
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-07-2006, 05:44 PM
I came across this thread a bit late, so I read over the posts and I feel our guest might just be thinking too hard. There's an old saying "ours is not to question why..." Well, I think our friend just needs to find a nice True Christian™ pastor and let HIM explain what's true.
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 04:16 AM
Oh, I have never expected this many posts in my thread. I was sure that it wouldve been done for, but by the looks of things, it did.
And as for what you have said, yes, I would LOVE to speak to a True Christian and talk to him about the Bible. Maybe HE can prove to me that the Bible is all completely true. DO you know of any pastors that live around CA?
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 04:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheConfusedOne
Oh, I have never expected this many posts in my thread. I was sure that it wouldve been done for, but by the looks of things, it did.
And as for what you have said, yes, I would LOVE to speak to a True Christian and talk to him about the Bible. Maybe HE can prove to me that the Bible is all completely true. DO you know of any pastors that live around CA?
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Are you still in here whining? Have you tithed yet? Jesus is going to send you straight to hell unless you tithe, heathen.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 04:33 AM
Who says Im whining? I am simply asking if anyone knows of any pastors that live here in CA? And if I am to go to hell for questioning what does not exist, then I shall gladly walk through those gates, knowing that its all false.
There is no hell, and there is no heaven. You waste your time worshiping a book with words. You waste your time worshiping statues and praying to something that does not exist.
I DO believe that God exists, but I do not believe in the Bible. HE has created all that we have, but he did it through logic, so that we, as his creations, can figure things out the way HE created it, which is why HE gave us the ability to think and feel for OURSELVES. He gave us the five senses to figure out his logic, and to this day, we still strive to find out exactly how he created all the blueprints that belong to each individual organism.
God is smart, that he is, and he planned this all out. He planned that I would join this forum and question the Bible. God also planned that YOU and the OTHERS would post here. But what you wrote was from your own individual thoughts.
[ If I get banned for this, then its because the True Christians here are afraid of the truth and do not wish to hear more of the real logic. And this is fact. If I am not banned, then that should mean that you seem interested, but also keep me here so that I could be discriminated more against. If you dont believe me, then you really dont have to. ]
There is no denying it.
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 04:42 AM
I do not belo
Quote:
Originally Posted by More Saved Than Thou
If you have read the Bible, how can you not find it to be self-explanatory, as Pastor Ezekiel says? If you read the words, you should be able to understand them:
Eph. 3:3-4: How that by revelation he made known unto me the mystery; (as I wrote afore in few words, Whereby, when ye read, ye may understand my knowledge in the mystery of Christ)
If not, then maybe this Scripture teaching is about you:
II Thess. 2:11-12: And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.
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I do not believe it because IT WAS WRITTEN BY MANY PEOPLE OVER A COURSE OF 1000 YEARS! How can you NOt believe that?! If you can believe in a false book, then you can believe in a factual statement!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 04:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheConfusedOne
I do not belo
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Please spare us the details of which perverted sexual acts you perform for money. This is a Christian FAMILY forum, and Jesus reads everything you post, sodomite.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 04:47 AM
Sorry, but that was a typo my friend. I thought I was writing something but I did not see it, so i did not delete it. And PLEASE STOP CALLING ME NAMES! I have done NOTHING to be called names. Do you see me calling you names? NO! So stop it!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 04:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheConfusedOne
Sorry, but that was a typo my friend. I thought I was writing something but I did not see it, so i did not delete it. And PLEASE STOP CALLING ME NAMES! I have done NOTHING to be called names. Do you see me calling you names? NO! So stop it!
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Dear unsaved scum; You have barged into our godly forum and spit on Jesus, denied the validity of the Holy Bible, and mocked God. You are persecuting us and stealing from Jesus. And yet we have treated you with nothing but respect. Now you are throwing a hissy fit because we tell you the truth as Jesus commands? Sorry pervert, but I do God's bidding, not yours.
Have you tithed yet, jennifer?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 04:57 AM
Respect? You call me a pervert, say that I do perverted things for money, and then you call me by a womans name? I see no respect in that, my friend.
In fact, I have a lot of respect for all the Christians here. And do you know why? Its because you believe in something so much that it has become your life. I am overzealous that I am not like that.
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 05:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Private Message
Dear TheConfusedOne,
You have received an infraction at The Landover Baptist Church Forums.
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=7105
Reason: Being a Sassy-Mouthed Feminazi Bitch
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How dare you deny that God exists or that the Bible is 100% true!?
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This infraction is worth 43 point(s) and may result in restricted access until it expires. Serious infractions will never expire.
All the best,
The Landover Baptist Church Forums
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Haha. Do you really think this is going to solve all of your problems?
Guess again. Just because you have given me infraction points does not mean I will be changing my mind anytime soon. This just gives me more evidence that you are afraid. You are afraid because you know I am right, but you just dont want to cooperate. And instead of giving a good counter-point, you insult me and give me infraction points. IF that is not fear, then I dont know what is.
Only bullies and cowards insult people. You my friend, are a bully and a coward. Ban me for all I care. This will just prove me even more right than what I already am.
Have a pleasant evening.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 08:47 AM
Friend, no one has insulted you. Jesus tells us in the Holy Bible that we are to "judge righteous judgement", and we have only followed this admonition.
John 7:24
Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
1 Corinthians 2:15
But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.
You see? I am a True Christian Pastor, and you are unsaved scum. Jesus commands that I judge you, but I am to be judged by no man. You may not like this, but don't whine about it to me, jennifer. Take it up with Jesus if you dare.
Thus far, you have done nothing in here but spew hatred and mock God. That might explain why you have earned zero respect among the True Christians on God's favorite forum.
Have you ever even read the Bible?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 10:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheConfusedOne
Haha. Do you really think this is going to solve all of your problems?
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Friend, JESUS solves all of our problems and He can solve yours as well. All you have to do is accept JESUS into your heart and tithe a reasonable sum to Landover Baptist. The easiest way to do that is to borrow your father's credit cards (usually the ones that say 'Platinum' are the best) and come back here with the name, billing address, expiration date and secret code (on the back). We'll just charge a small amount to make sure the information is correct AND, we'll send you a BRAND NEW PS2 GAMESTATION!!
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 03:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Friend, JESUS solves all of our problems and He can solve yours as well. All you have to do is accept JESUS into your heart and tithe a reasonable sum to Landover Baptist. The easiest way to do that is to borrow your father's credit cards (usually the ones that say 'Platinum' are the best) and come back here with the name, billing address, expiration date and secret code (on the back). We'll just charge a small amount to make sure the information is correct AND, we'll send you a BRAND NEW PS2 GAMESTATION!!
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Y'know what? I have no comment for this. But I have a question for this: So what your saying is that if I donate, all my sins will be forgiven?
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 04:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Friend, no one has insulted you. Jesus tells us in the Holy Bible that we are to "judge righteous judgement", and we have only followed this admonition.
John 7:24
Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
1 Corinthians 2:15
But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.
You see? I am a True Christian Pastor, and you are unsaved scum. Jesus commands that I judge you, but I am to be judged by no man. You may not like this, but don't whine about it to me, jennifer. Take it up with Jesus if you dare.
Thus far, you have done nothing in here but spew hatred and mock God. That might explain why you have earned zero respect among the True Christians on God's favorite forum.
Have you ever even read the Bible?
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There IS a loophole in that second verse you have placed up. I am not a man, but a boy. SO therefore, your 'logic' has no effect on me. SO that also means that I have right to judge you as well.
John 7:24
Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
=) See?
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 04:30 PM
Here are a few quote from a friend of mine who has a few things to say.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pegan Trash
"lol well that's because they have their heads so far up their asses they can't see for shit."
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pegan Trash
John 7:24
Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
THAT MEANS THEY CANT JUDGE ANY SUBCULTURE OR RELIGION WITHOUT SIGNIFICANT EVIDENCE!"
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 07:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheConfusedOne
Here are a few quote from a friend of mine who has a few things to say.
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Son, your friend is a queer who is going to get you into BIG trouble with JESUS.
Thus do I judge him in RIGHTEOUS judgement! PRAISE!
Leviticus 19:15
In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.
John 7:24
Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
1 Corinthians 2:15
But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.
1 Corinthians 5:12-13
For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.
1 Corinthians 6:2-3
Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? Know ye not that we shall judge angels? How much more things that pertain to this life?
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 09:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Son, your friend is a queer who is going to get you into BIG trouble with JESUS.
Thus do I judge him in RIGHTEOUS judgement! PRAISE!
Leviticus 19:15
In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.
John 7:24
Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
1 Corinthians 2:15
But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.
1 Corinthians 5:12-13
For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.
1 Corinthians 6:2-3
Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? Know ye not that we shall judge angels? How much more things that pertain to this life?
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I do not mind getting into trouble with Jesus. And if I can, I would LOVE to speak with him, spiritually or otherwise.
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-08-2006, 09:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheConfusedOne
I do not mind getting into trouble with Jesus. And if I can, I would LOVE to speak with him, spiritually or otherwise.
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Ah, yes. I wish he would give me a call on the ol' cell phone at two in the morning and just shout 'hey there!'
Queer? As in homosexual, or strange? I resemble that remark ><
Last edited by Talitha; 10-08-2006 at 09:47 PM.
Reason: Spelt "Resemble" wrong.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: I Have A Question... -
10-09-2006, 12:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by La Vie Boheme
Ah, yes. I wish he would give me a call on the ol' cell phone at two in the morning and just shout 'hey there!'
Queer? As in homosexual, or strange? I resemble that remark ><
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So then you admit that you are a filthy perverted homer lezbean. In another thread you claimed to be Christian, so that was obviously a lie. And now you are mocking Jesus?
I have to say, you people disgust me. God hates fags, and so do most of the people on earth. Enjoy hell, degenerate scum.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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