Quote:
Originally Posted by Zephania
Sleeping with women is bad for you
Yes, you heard me. Even so much as being in the same bed as a woman can negatively effect a man's performance in his duties to God. Yet more evidence to prove that women are the tools of Satan, sent to corrupt and distract the pure True Christian™ men who strive to make this world a more Godly place. In order to combat against this negative femminine influence, I suggest that all females living in any True Christian™ household should be locked in a soundproofed area of the basement overnight, and that a man and his wife should share a bed no more than once or twice a year to ensure a steady supply of Christian Soldiers™ to fight our worthy crusades in the towelhead countries.
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There is nothing natural about the idea of sleeping with women. They are seed receptacles, but that is all. After I've wiped my sinful parts down with a piece of toilet paper, I don't spend the rest of the night with it, so why should a woman be any different? Some people suggest providing a rug on the bedroom floor for one's wife to sleep upon when she has served her purpose for the night, but I think that the idea of spending good money on a rug - for a woman! - betrays an ungodly feminist influence.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.