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Reload this Page Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED???
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED??? - 08-28-2009, 04:38 AM

HELP! I am a bisexual drug user who doubts Christianity and often fantasizes about being raped by a masked stranger! Please help me!
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Default Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED??? - 08-28-2009, 04:54 AM

Indeed you sound very confused. You claim to be atheist but you name yourself after the jackal-headed Egyptian deity.

The simple answer is yes you can be Saved®. All you have to do is read your 1611 King James Bible, repent of your sins of homosexuality, atheism, paganism, drug abuse, bestiality, child molestation, terrorism, cannibalism, rape, murder, bank fraud, and whatever else sins you've committed, and then heartfully and honestly accept Jesus Christ as your savior. Only then you can be Saved®.

However, I have doubts you truly want to be Saved® and you are just here to get a rise out of us. In that case, I would kindly ask you to leave. Otherwise, get your nose into the KJV and start studying, boy.



Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

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Default Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED??? - 08-28-2009, 05:01 AM

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Originally Posted by Anubis578 View Post
HELP! I am a bisexual drug user who doubts Christianity and often fantasizes about being raped by a masked stranger! Please help me!
Son, you have more issues than National Geographic magazine! I don't think we can even begin to help you here until you can prove that you want to change. If you can manage to give up your entire sin-filled lifestyle, there might be a chance.

I said might.

EDIT: Is the stranger you imagine raping you a man? If it is, I'm afraid you are a lost cause. Sorry if this is the case.




Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



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Default Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED??? - 09-02-2009, 09:57 AM

And you wonder why we got out of Egypt when we did?

Hymie


1 Thessalonians 2:14 ... the Jews:
2:15 Who both killed the Lord Jesus, and their own prophets, and have persecuted us; and they please not God, and are contrary to all men: 2:16 Forbidding us to speak to the Gentiles that they might be saved, to fill up their sins alway: for the wrath is come upon them to the uttermost.
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Default Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED??? - 09-02-2009, 02:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anubis578 View Post
HELP! I am a bisexual drug user who doubts Christianity and often fantasizes about being raped by a masked stranger! Please help me!
For all that stuff? Yes, you can be saved.
For your obvious and wanton trolling? Probably not. You actually have to want to not spend eternity being roasted.


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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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Default Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED??? - 09-02-2009, 04:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anubis578 View Post
HELP! I am a bisexual drug user who doubts Christianity and often fantasizes about being raped by a masked stranger! Please help me!
Sounds like you've watched "The Color Purple" one too many times.

Go back to 4chan.


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED??? - 09-02-2009, 06:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anubis578 View Post
HELP! I am a bisexual drug user who doubts Christianity and often fantasizes about being raped by a masked stranger! Please help me!
Can I come over? I'll bring a mask!!


Your friendly Atheist scum.
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Default Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED??? - 09-02-2009, 06:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stevie View Post
Can I come over? I'll bring a mask!!

No edit button??? I thought the OP was female!!!!


Your friendly Atheist scum.
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Default Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED??? - 09-02-2009, 06:55 PM

Well, it's too late- you're gay, now.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED??? - 09-02-2009, 11:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Well, it's too late- you're gay, now.
Clearly. Wait till Pastor Zeke finds out.
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Default Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED??? - 09-03-2009, 02:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stevie View Post
No edit button??? I thought the OP was female!!!!

Unsaved trash do not get edit buttons because Fruedian slips reveal a lot about someone. Aka, you, keep making excuses for being a butt-pirate
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Default Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED??? - 09-03-2009, 11:56 AM

Hitler was a bi-sexual, boy.
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