General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
|
Righteous and Patriotic Highest body count at the VFW
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 3,319
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Wiseman Compound and Bible Complex
|
|
Diet soda? -
10-20-2009, 09:00 PM
So there I was, at the tractor supply buying a case of 50 weight and talking business with Jack Smothers when I saw Dirk Jenkins walk in holding a Diet Mountain Dew! Me and Jack were both surprised to say the least. Neither of us would have figured Dirk for the faggoty type, he's got a wife and 5 kids! Jack asked him why he was holding the can figuring maybe Dirk was just being neighborly and throwing out some trash that blew into the parkinglot from the queer hangout next door(some sort of bakery and coffee store) but Dirk said it was his and he got it when he was in Raleigh this morning! I couldn't believe it! The big city turned one of my friends into a flaming gay!
What is Sarah going to do when she finds out her husband is going queer? She's almost 30 and finding another man willing to marry her will be difficult at best. Me and Jack whooped him pretty good back in the lumberyard but I think he's still got some gay in him. I read that it could take up to three good beating to get all the gay out of someone once they start turning fruity. I don't think he's actually gone the full distance with Satan but you can't take a chance with something like homosexuality. He's already in a dangerous profession being a salesman at the suit shop so there has to be more we can do to fellowship him back into a normal life and away from the embrace of swarthy Italians and sweaty sailors and Navy types. I already called a few of the policeman in town to help out with some tough love and maybe throw a scare into him.
Any suggestions for other things we can do? What do you do when one of your friends shows signs of being a gay?
God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
|
|
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
|
|
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-20-2009, 09:28 PM
That’s just awful Marshall. I don’t know what to say. Of course, you did the right thing but my experience is that it does little good until the queer himself wants to reform and abandon his death-style choice.
The only case I ever came across was Geoff Hudson. He seemed to be made of the right stuff, footballer, hunter, fishing, you get the picture. He’d never married and at 32 was still living with his mother but never mind, he was one of the boys.
I recall we were shooting pool in a bar, there was music playing, and the general noise of conversation. I was eyeing the 4 ball when he came out with, “That Judy Garland, she’s an amazing character.”
Well, that was it. The place went as quiet as the grave and Geoff looks round and says, “What?” as if he didn’t know what had happened. The women moved to the edges or the room and Johnny Spitzer moved in. Johnny took my cue and shattered it on Geoff’s head, a few others took the balls and inserted every one.
Geoff left town as soon as he was released from the clinic (St Mary of the Bleeding Heart – only the catlix would take him.)
I’ve not heard of him since and that was the best part of 20 years ago. I do hope he’s cured.
|
|
Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-20-2009, 09:35 PM
I have to say Brother Marshall you loyalty to your friend Dirk is touching. Your average cafeteria Christian would run to for hills if one of his friends went gay. Not you, you did what Jesus would have done and did your best to help your friend threw his crises.
I think you are on the right tract with your friend Marshall. As Pastor Zeke's says "Don't be afraid of the Homosexuals. You got to be willing to beat off the gay in them". And we all know what an expert on gays Pastor Zeke is.
Good luck with Dirk Marshall!
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
|
|
Righteous and Patriotic Highest body count at the VFW
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 3,319
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Wiseman Compound and Bible Complex
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-20-2009, 09:49 PM
I hope you're right. I'd love the chance to beat off that gay and I hope I get my chance at the meeting on Friday. It seems to be just a touch right now but you know just a drop of vinegar makes the whole well poison.
God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
|
|
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-20-2009, 10:24 PM
I don't know, Brother Marshall, but that Diet Mountain Dew is clearly a fag drink.
I will pray for you this evening that you can beat the fagness out of him.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-22-2009, 09:54 PM
Brother Marshall, diet soda isn't the symptom of the gay, it's a cause!
Not long ago, I went to a truck stop to do some ministering. Parched, I went into the restaurant for a Coke. The waitress popped back up in moments with my drink, and off I went to witness to the men who were being ogled by truck-stop prostitutes.
As I slurped away at the soda, I started to feel strange. I heard "Over the Rainbow" playing, and was enthralled! I saw a scantily-clad prostitute with shapely bosom and full, firm behind, and found myself wondering where she got her shoes!
I knew something was wrong. Glancing down at the cup, I saw the cap was marked. DIET! She had switched it up on me, trying to steer me from the Lord!
Beware, brothers! Sleazy waitresses could slip you diet sodas and try to turn you gay, too!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 674
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: NAU
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-22-2009, 10:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Brother Marshall, diet soda isn't the symptom of the gay, it's a cause!
Not long ago, I went to a truck stop to do some ministering. Parched, I went into the restaurant for a Coke. The waitress popped back up in moments with my drink, and off I went to witness to the men who were being ogled by truck-stop prostitutes.
As I slurped away at the soda, I started to feel strange. I heard "Over the Rainbow" playing, and was enthralled! I saw a scantily-clad prostitute with shapely bosom and full, firm behind, and found myself wondering where she got her shoes!
I knew something was wrong. Glancing down at the cup, I saw the cap was marked. DIET! She had switched it up on me, trying to steer me from the Lord!
Beware, brothers! Sleazy waitresses could slip you diet sodas and try to turn you gay, too!
|
I thought one is born Gay. How can it be a cause?
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-22-2009, 10:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08
I thought one is born Gay. How can it be a cause?
|
You believe that because the homosexual lobby wants you to believe it. There has never been any proof of a "gay gene".
It's the result of demons! Demons in diet soda and other places!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 674
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: NAU
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-22-2009, 10:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
You believe that because the homosexual lobby wants you to believe it. There has never been any proof of a "gay gene".
It's the result of demons! Demons in diet soda and other places!
|
As the august Pastor Eze once said: Any biblical evidence?
|
|
Mammy
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 961
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: floriduh
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-22-2009, 10:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08
I thought one is born Gay. How can it be a cause?
|
Simple put Sambo, Christian mens don't ever drink diet nothin! It turns dem right over to da dark side. Anyways, what real man you know watches his waistline, anyhow?
Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 674
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: NAU
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-22-2009, 10:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vavoline Johnson
Simple put Sambo, Christian mens don't ever drink diet nothin! It turns dem right over to da dark side. Anyways, what real man you know watches his waistline, anyhow?
|
To become an Ex-Negro, I have to lower my intellect to her level?
|
|
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-22-2009, 10:18 PM
Rev. Rodimer: It appears that the responses you're getting are from the "darkie" side of the tracks. I can't help but wondering if diet drinks, in addition to be be homo drinks, also are big in the colored community.
Homo's + darkies + diet drinks = something for us True Christians™ to avoid.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 674
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: NAU
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-22-2009, 10:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor
Rev. Rodimer: It appears that the responses you're getting are from the "darkie" side of the tracks. I can't help but wondering if diet drinks, in addition to be be homo drinks, also are big in the colored community.
Homo's + darkies + diet drinks = something for us True Christians™ to avoid.
|
I was just thinking rationally - rational that you are clearly lacking.
You can call me Ken, btw.
|
|
Mammy
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 961
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: floriduh
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-22-2009, 10:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08
To become an Ex-Negro, I have to lower my intellect to her level?
|
Now, don't you be goin off topic! We here be speakin bout the sin of the diet soft drinks!
Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy
|
|
Mammy
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 961
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: floriduh
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-22-2009, 10:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor
Rev. Rodimer: It appears that the responses you're getting are from the "darkie" side of the tracks. I can't help but wondering if diet drinks, in addition to be be homo drinks, also are big in the colored community.
Homo's + darkies + diet drinks = something for us True Christians™ to avoid.
|
No, no Mr HTannor, we darkies ain't big on nothing wifout lots and lots of sugar. I cain't think o one faggy negro and no, not Sammy Davis Joonier, niether, though he did act like one.
Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy
|
|
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-22-2009, 11:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vavoline Johnson
No, no Mr HTannor, we darkies ain't big on nothing wifout lots and lots of sugar. I cain't think o one faggy negro and no, not Sammy Davis Joonier, niether, though he did act like one.
|
I'm sorry, Miss Valvoline, my emotions were running ahead of my typing fingers.
How can I change my forumla to dispute that lowlife uppity Osambo 08 what's arguing with us?
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
|
|
Mammy
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 961
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: floriduh
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-22-2009, 11:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor
I'm sorry, Miss Valvoline, my emotions were running ahead of my typing fingers.
How can I change my forumla to dispute that lowlife uppity Osambo 08 what's arguing with us?
|
Listen, dont be sayin I tole you so but dat boy Sambo got his-self a slew of Barry Manilow records in his car. DeWayne seed dem wif his own eyes!
Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,751
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-22-2009, 11:39 PM
I just had a terrible thought--you don't suppose he's using the bottles for some sick homosexual sex practice, do you? Oh, Jesus, make that not be true!
I think they're putting something in the diet sodas that has turned your friend gay, Brother Marshall. After all, PepsiCo, the maker of Diet Mountain Dew, is known to support the radical gay agenda. All True Christians™ support the Rev. Don. Wildmon's boycott of Pepsi products until they stop pushing homosexuality on America.
Hey, Pepsi, if you're not with us, you're against us.
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
|
|
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-22-2009, 11:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08
I was just thinking rationally - rational that you are clearly lacking.
You can call me Ken, btw.
|
Well "Ken", I think I finally have a handle on you (thank you, Miss Valvoline!!!).
You are an uppity negra, and I hope you enjoy your days in HELL where the Flaming Tallywacker™ of Satan does a number on your nether regions while you're slugging down your diet drink.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
|
|
Re: Diet soda? -
10-23-2009, 05:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WWJDnow
I just had a terrible thought--you don't suppose he's using the bottles for some sick homosexual sex practice, do you? Oh, Jesus, make that not be true!
I think they're putting something in the diet sodas that has turned your friend gay, Brother Marshall. After all, PepsiCo, the maker of Diet Mountain Dew, is known to support the radical gay agenda
|
Wait a minute, Diet Mountain Dew is made by Pepsi?
I should have known! And I bet it wasn't even a diet Coke they gave me, but a diet PEPSI!
It's all part of the gay agenda, I tell you! Insidiously inserting their sleazy sexuality into every orifice they can access!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|