Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 564
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Belgium
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-24-2008, 04:43 PM
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,745
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-24-2008, 05:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by snottyduck
[...]If you knew anything about it you would certainly have known that the Tropical Institute in Antwerp (a city) has a long history of medical expertise.
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There’s no use trying to bluff your way out. I’ve just been to Landover Library and looked at an atlas, Antwerp* is a city in southern Netherlands – it’s no where near the tropics!
(And you’re telling us that you have a friend?)
Look, Africa is in the Tropics and this is how they cure AIDS. It’s not going to work because they are not True Christians™ and God will laugh at them, Psalms 59 :8: But thou, O LORD, shalt laugh at them; thou shalt have all the heathen in derision.
If you look at the article, you will see that the cure is for AIDS; it’s not for HIV – that would have to be cured by completely different prayers!
*are you sure you don’t mean “ontwerp” and you have some sort of design?
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 261
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: The Godly Baptist State of Texas
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-24-2008, 07:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by snottyduck
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I can't help but shake my head whenever I see these poor unsaved fools who put their faith in science.
All True Christians know that diseases are plagues, created by God to punish sinners. If you don't want to get aids, just don't sin. It's that simple.
Your simple ignorant scientific advice of not having unprotected sex or sharing needles is just stealing from Bible versus over 2000 years old. GOD tells us not to be fornicators, sodomites, or to mix blood. It's all in THE BOOK!
Praise Jesus!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 564
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Belgium
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-24-2008, 07:34 PM
If you don't want AIDS then don't stick your dick in the wrong shit. Simple, isn't it.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,335
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Doing God's Work in Europistan
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-24-2008, 07:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by snottyduck
If you don't want AIDS then don't stick your dick in the wrong shit. Simple, isn't it.
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Snot, it's not as simple as that. Not when we have Queer Terrorists running around, trying to give innocent people AIDS! Remember you can get AIDS if a fag coughs on you, or sneezes near you. If he sits on a toilet seat before you, or if he even uses the same toilet paper as you. It's THAT contagious!
Everything a homer touches could give you AIDS!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,024
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Where Jesus Wants Me
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-24-2008, 07:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother_Percy
Snot, it's not as simple as that. Not when we have Queer Terrorists running around, trying to give innocent people AIDS! Remember you can get AIDS if a fag coughs on you, or sneezes near you. If he sits on a toilet seat before you, or if he even uses the same toilet paper as you. It's THAT contagious!
Everything a homer touches could give you AIDS!
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Don't forget about pay phones. They are filthy with homer aids since they use them constantly to phone their drug dealers.
Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!
Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-24-2008, 08:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ebenezer Wright
Don't forget about pay phones. They are filthy with homer aids since they use them constantly to phone their drug dealers.
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Fortunately, I was able to petition to get my neighborhood payphone removed. No one used it besides the druggies and faggos, anyway. And drunks, late at night. You have no idea how easy it is to get a phone removed. Only 3 neighbors need to complain about a particular phone, and you yourself can call from three different phones and pretend to be different neighbors calling to complain about problem phone usage. Presto! Phone gone!
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-24-2008, 08:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tidal wave of warm spit
Their minds are made up - facts are irrelevant to them.
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Reason #64 A Witch spitting her AIDs tainted blood into your eyes.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-24-2008, 09:00 PM
65. Reading a lie-beral MSM "news"paper. Since only homers work at such publications, and since the ink always comes off onto your hands, who knows what you're likely to catch.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-25-2008, 08:24 PM
66. Living too close to town rather than in a Godly outer suburb or exurb. Homers give off AIDS germs when they exhale, so the higher the population density, and the greater percentage of kweerboys in the population, the more likely you are to catch those germs by inhaling.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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True Christian™ Beauty Queen
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Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-25-2008, 09:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters
66. Living too close to town rather than in a Godly outer suburb or exurb. Homers give off AIDS germs when they exhale, so the higher the population density, and the greater percentage of kweerboys in the population, the more likely you are to catch those germs by inhaling.
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If only we could see them, there are probably AIDS clouds hanging over each and every major American city.
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-25-2008, 09:57 PM
67. Watching Judy Garland movies or Hollywood musicals. Homer waves come from the video, inducing brain-function changes and causing homersexurality. You are then compelled to go engage in sodomy with anyone you can find.
It happened to two different men in my church. We excommunicated one, but were able to Save© the other one.
He is now a very happy eunuch for Christ!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-25-2008, 10:04 PM
68. Dancing Lessons – Dancing schools are notoriously staffed with homer instructors.
69. Avoid Airport Restrooms – Any kind of toe-tapping puts out subliminal messages that place you in the mood to have gay sex.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,024
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Where Jesus Wants Me
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-25-2008, 11:55 PM
70. Spandex Pants/shirts & hats- Rumored to have aids woven right into to the fabric.
Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!
Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-26-2008, 02:28 AM
You have to be careful at family reunions. Many families have a homo among them, and who knows, he could be infected, too.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Anti La Leche League Organizer
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,807
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: VT--the Green Mountain State
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-26-2008, 05:54 AM
#71
Last edited by Roberta; 08-25-2008 at 11:22 AM.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-26-2008, 01:01 PM
#72: Going to Africa.
Pretty much self-explanatory, that one.
#73: Eating out of other folk's bins.
I'm sure I shouldn't have to warn any decent Christian folk against that habit, but here in Britain, Christian surveys estimate that over 25% of food consumed comes from other people's trash. Also, way over 25% of the population has the AIDS. It doesn't take a genius to join the dots.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-26-2008, 01:07 PM
#74. Any form of pre-marital sex, including heavy petting. God hates that alot.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-26-2008, 01:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roberta
#71
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What is that, Sister? Is someone making homer stew? People shouldn't have to be told not to eat that, but then, people shouldn't have to be told not to mock Jesus, and they still do.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-26-2008, 01:30 PM
75. Everyone should be careful at work. There's no telling when you are going to have to cover for another employee. That's why it's good to always have a spare usb keyboard and mouse, in case you have to monitor another's computer. Having a spare chair would be inconvenient, so I recommend just rolling your own chair over.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Last edited by Pastor Ezekiel; 07-26-2008 at 01:35 PM.
Reason: number corrected--let's keep up to date brothers!
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