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Default Guinness World Record Bible Challenge! - 11-05-2007, 07:56 AM

Praise Jesus, I believe I'm going to be famous! I've got THIS false Christian beat by a mile! Why I'd read the Holy KJV Bible cover-to-cover 100 times by the time I was 18 years old.

Quote:
Reading Bible 95 times should be OK for Guinness

Some people swallow swords. Others climb mountains. Or they go in for a record number of tattoos.

John Buchweitz of Langdon, N.D., reads the Bible. Today is his 96th birthday, and he lays claim to having read the whole Bible, clear through, 95 times during his long span of life. He would really like to be in the Guinness Book of World Records for reading the Bible so many times - if only he knew how to get there.

He knows for sure that you have to show proof for your claims. So, he documents all of the reading that he does as he sits by a window of Maple Manor where he is a resident. He showed me notes he has written in the Bible that say he started reading it for the 95th time in his life in April of this year. He finished the Good Book in 12 days by reading five hours a day. And he was reading 150 pages a day. The notes he has kept say that each page had an average of 420 words and that he would read a page in two minutes. He was reading a King James version of the Bible that has 1,834 pages.

Buchweitz has read various versions of the Bible throughout the 9½ decades of his life. In his youth, he read the Bible his parents brought from Germany. He grew up on a farm near Dresden, N.D. He was the youngest of 12 children and is the only one left of his family. He says he went a few years to a country school. He spent most of his life as a bachelor farmer. A Lutheran. He grew oats, barley and wheat. He tended cattle and read the Bible as seasons would come and go

He was wearing an orchid shirt with maroon suspenders when I met him one afternoon in Langdon. He has been at Maple Manor for several years now. In years gone by, he would go regularly to the church at Dresden, N.D., to join in the singing with his rich voice or he would recite poetry.

He is a pleasant, agreeable gentleman with a good head of white hair and a white beard. He was sitting near a window in the lounge area of Maple Manor when I met him. I learned about him from Rita Maisel, who writes a column every week for the Cavalier County Republican newspaper in Langdon and plays the piano once a month for services at Maple Manor.

Buchweitz enters into activities at Maple Manor. He especially enjoys the bingo games. As he makes his way down a corridor in his wheelchair, he counts the number of tiles in his wing of the building. He will tell you there are 100 of the 12-inch tiles between the social area of Maple Manor and his room, which faces out to Highway 5. And inside the room he shares with another resident, he often watches the cars go by on state Highway 5. He marks down how many go by in 10 minutes and gauges how many pass in a day. “You would be surprised,” he says, “how many there are.”

Buchweitz has read a variety of Bibles during his lifetime. He has read the Mormon and Jehovah's Witness Bibles and other versions. “Saturday,” he says, “is generally my day to read the Bible. That is my Sabbath because it is the seventh day.”

He will tell you the shortest verse in the Bible is John 11:35 where it says, “Jesus wept.” And the second shortest is found in Luke 17:32, where it says, “Remember Lot's wife.” The longest word, he tells you is “Ma-her-shal-al-hash baz” found in Chapter 8, Verse 1 of Isaiah.

Buchweitz finds it hard to believe everything he reads in the Bible. It seems to him there are so many prophecies - especially in the book of Revelations - that he wonders if some of them haven't already happened.

Still, he clings to “The Old Rugged Cross,” which is one of his favorite hymns. And he can recite in a beautiful strong voice all of the words to “The Night Before Christmas.” He knows verbatim some readings including, “The Passing of the Outhouse.”
Well the old coot sounds like an interesting guy, but anyway, I'm pretty sure that reading all those false Bibles don't count. I wonder if he read "the satanic bible" too? And how can that be an acheivement, to be 96 years old and have only read some kind of Bible 95 times? Only once a year? The old sinner is slacking off.

I'm going to write a letter to the Guinness people right now! I'll bet some of our True Christian™ Brothers and even some of the sisters have this fool beat. Let's start a contest to see who has read the One True Bible (KJV1611) all the way through the most number of times.

How many times have YOU pleased Jesus by reading His favorite book?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Guinness World Record Bible Challenge! - 11-05-2007, 08:22 AM

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Originally Posted by False Christian!!! View Post
He will tell you the shortest verse in the Bible is John 11:35 where it says, “Jesus wept.” And the second shortest is found in Luke 17:32, where it says, “Remember Lot's wife.”
That's silly. “Remember Lot's wife.” has 20 characters (including punctuation), and that's not the second shortest verse in the Bible.

1st Chronicles 1:1 Adam, Sheth, Enosh, has 19 characters, while 1st Chronicles 1:25 Eber, Peleg, Reu, and 1st Thessalonians 5:16 Rejoice evermore. are even shorter with only 17 characters.

As far as 20-character verses go, I'd much prefer Deuteronomy 5:17 Thou shalt not kill.


Holbein

1st Corinthians 15:16 For if the dead rise not, then is not Christ raised:
1st Corinthians 15:17 And if Christ be not raised, your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins.
1st Corinthians 15:18 Then they also which are fallen asleep in Christ are perished.
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Default Re: Guinness World Record Bible Challenge! - 11-05-2007, 01:06 PM

Quote:
Buchweitz finds it hard to believe everything he reads in the Bible.
I feel sorry for this poor guy. He's read the Bible 95 times, and yet he's still going to Hell for being weak in the faith.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Guinness World Record Bible Challenge! - 11-05-2007, 05:43 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
I feel sorry for this poor guy. He's read the Bible 95 times, and yet he's still going to Hell for being weak in the faith.
My mother has never read the bible (she can't read - it only leads to confusion in women anyway) but goes to Church every day and tithes 90% of the money she earns from recycling aluminium cans. She'll be in heaven singing hymns while this 95 year old faggot is getting his tired old ring torn apart by Satan.


The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Default Re: Guinness World Record Bible Challenge! - 11-05-2007, 09:13 PM

Bachelor farmer? Orchid shirt with maroon suspenders? I think he must have skimmed over the parts about not being a homer.


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Default Re: Guinness World Record Bible Challenge! - 11-05-2007, 09:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
Bachelor farmer? Orchid shirt with maroon suspenders? I think he must have skimmed over the parts about not being a homer.
Quote:
Buchweitz finds it hard to believe everything he reads in the Bible. It seems to him there are so many prophecies - especially in the book of Revelations - that he wonders if some of them haven't already happened.
He probably thinks that part doesn't apply.

Why would anyone read the bible 95 times if they didn't believe every word of it?

V


Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.
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Default Re: Guinness World Record Bible Challenge! - 11-05-2007, 09:35 PM

I challenge any sinner, Christian or otherwise!

To see which of us can load up the most CHRISTMAS presents in a shopping cart in only one hour!
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Default Re: Guinness World Record Bible Challenge! - 11-11-2007, 01:48 AM

Buchweitz finds it hard to believe everything he reads in the Bible.

Just goes to show - there's always hope,even at 96.


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Default Re: Guinness World Record Bible Challenge! - 11-11-2007, 03:33 PM

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Originally Posted by lilith View Post
Just goes to show - there's always hope,even at 96.
Hope for what, screech owl? He doesn't sound like a likely prospect to be one of your, um, clients.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: Guinness World Record Bible Challenge! - 11-12-2007, 01:50 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
Hope for what, screech owl? He doesn't sound like a likely prospect to be one of your, um, clients.


Obviously you're unfamiliar with the clients,many have a Christian background.

Just ask Zeke.


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Talking Re: Guinness World Record Bible Challenge! - 11-12-2007, 08:25 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Praise Jesus, I believe I'm going to be famous! I've got THIS false Christian beat by a mile! Why I'd read the Holy KJV Bible cover-to-cover 100 times by the time I was 18 years old.



Well the old coot sounds like an interesting guy, but anyway, I'm pretty sure that reading all those false Bibles don't count. I wonder if he read "the satanic bible" too? And how can that be an acheivement, to be 96 years old and have only read some kind of Bible 95 times? Only once a year? The old sinner is slacking off.

I'm going to write a letter to the Guinness people right now! I'll bet some of our True Christian™ Brothers and even some of the sisters have this fool beat. Let's start a contest to see who has read the One True Bible (KJV1611) all the way through the most number of times.

How many times have YOU pleased Jesus by reading His favorite book?
excuse me but (this has nothing to do with the thread sorry) how do i send private messages to people? i need to send some, if you could send me a message on how to send them... that would be terrific thanks

- john
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Default Re: Guinness World Record Bible Challenge! - 11-12-2007, 08:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kemperanger View Post
excuse me but (this has nothing to do with the thread sorry) how do i send private messages to people? i need to send some, if you could send me a message on how to send them... that would be terrific thanks

- john
You are not allowed to use the True Christian™ Private Message system, seeing as how you are unsaved trash, mere scum in the eyes of Jesus.

Please do not derail any more threads.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Bible Re: Guinness World Record Bible Challenge! - 01-24-2018, 03:15 AM

I am bumping this thread as it addresses a very important issue which should be close to the heart of every True Christian™. So, while not everyone here has read the Bible 95 times yet, here is the important question:

Have you read the Bible today yet????


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Default Re: Guinness World Record Bible Challenge! - 01-24-2018, 03:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
How many times have YOU pleased Jesus by reading His favorite book?
Many times. Furthermore, I homeschool my children with the Holy Bible exclusively. They sit at the dining room table for hours a day copying the Holy Bible from Genesis to Revelation. I'm training up my child to go to Heaven, not Harvard!

I also play the Wonder Bible around the house and in the car in lieu of background music or audio books.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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