Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,178
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Fact: Only flaming homos use Apple products -
12-05-2009, 11:47 PM
Starting with its incredibly gay logo. It invites you to taste of its foul perverted and fruit of temptation that lead to man's downfall.
Quote:
Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?
And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:
But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.
And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:
For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
Genesis 3:1-6
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It combines this with the rainbow. A symbol that homosexuals have twisted from its original meaning. The promise that God will never slaughter the entire earth again by flood. It is His covenant that he will never wipe everything out, except the humans and animals that could fit on a boat.
Then, there's the Apple queer ultra gay user base. Including their CEO, who has admitted to being a pervert.
Mac wasn't gay enough, you say? Get it in a variety of rainbow homo colors.
A simple test for you to take.
These computers can turn people gay just by being in their proximity for too long.
Don't be sucked into the Apple deathstyle! Just say no!
It appears I have won the Russian Orthodox Church over as a convert to the right way of thinking.
Quote:
Bitten: Apple's 'blasphemous' logo under fire in Russia
Some Russian Orthodox Christians see the iconic logo as a symbol of sin that they would like to see outlawed.
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Praise be to God.
This is even more than I could ever hoped for when I wrote this sermon!
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,742
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
12-05-2009, 11:58 PM
JesOS 7™ will not run on a Mac, and for very good reason. Macs attempt to corrupt HKLM\Hardware\Scriptures\Leviticus18_22\system by removing the Key "Not"
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
12-06-2009, 12:21 AM
Another little-known fact about the Apple products is that they are favored by the papists.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 4
Join Date: Dec 2009
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
12-06-2009, 12:43 AM
I will never have a Mac, I will always be a PC girl!
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,178
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
12-06-2009, 12:53 AM
A preview of the upcoming Apple commercial.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 39
Join Date: Dec 2009
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
12-06-2009, 03:44 AM
Another little fact. PC/Window OS's run much better on Mac computers. Mac's also have less virus' and are more user friendly. As for the symbol, rainbows are just light reflecting off water drops in the air. That must have been God's Creation, how is it gay..?
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 10
Join Date: Feb 2010
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
03-17-2010, 08:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones
A preview of the upcoming Apple commercial.
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Mac doesn't even deserve Hard Gay to represent them, THIS is a more fitting image.
Thats your average mac user.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 5
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Location: Texas.
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
07-20-2010, 06:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones
A preview of the upcoming Apple commercial.
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My favourite one.
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,178
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
12-06-2009, 09:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
JesOS 7™ will not run on a Mac, and for very good reason. Macs attempt to corrupt HKLM\Hardware\Scriptures\Leviticus18_22\system by removing the Key "Not"
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No doubt it has something to do with the Darwin OS in the background.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
12-06-2009, 09:50 AM
It doesn't get any gayer than this. Every time you have to wait for a program to react (which is 99% of the time) they show you this:
And what's with all the French names. "Exposé"? Ugh.
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
12-08-2009, 04:26 AM
Do you know which is gayer, apple or Dell?
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
12-08-2009, 05:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
Do you know which is gayer, apple or Dell?
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Apple, because he is a fruit?
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,178
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
12-08-2009, 05:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
Do you know which is gayer, apple or Dell?
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I think the answer is clear.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 10
Join Date: Jan 2010
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
01-29-2010, 07:06 PM
Umm, you guys do know why Apple had the "Rainbow" logo? It's because back when they had that logo their Macintoshes could display colours (which was new for computers back then) instead of just black and white. They changed the logo to reflect this.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
01-29-2010, 07:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intelligunt
Umm, you guys do know why Apple had the "Rainbow" logo? It's because back when they had that logo their Macintoshes could display colours (which was new for computers back then) instead of just black and white. They changed the logo to reflect this.
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I don't know what you're talking about. They've used the rainbow apple logo since the eighties.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Unsaved trash, godmocker
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Posts: 27
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: City 17
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
02-01-2010, 08:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
I don't know what you're talking about. They've used the rainbow apple logo since the eighties.
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Of course you don't. You people never do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by advil0
Get out of 1985, the rainbow Apple logo isn't used anymore.
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Here, let me jump the bandwagon before they do.
"THE SHININESS REFLECTS ON HOW PRANCING NANCY BOYS LIKE TO DRESS UP. TRUE CHRISTIANS™ WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!!!!!
GOD WILL SEND ALL THESE HOMERS TO HELL!!!!"
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
02-01-2010, 03:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zurosiel
Of course you don't. You people never do.
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So he proves you are mistaken and suddenly you get nasty? That's not a very nice thing to do.
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GOD WILL SEND ALL THESE HOMERS TO HELL!!!!
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Let's try to cure them instead shall we? Trying to save their souls might be nicer than your aproach.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Unsaved trash, godmocker
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Posts: 27
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: City 17
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
02-01-2010, 05:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
So he proves you are mistaken and suddenly you get nasty? That's not a very nice thing to do.
Let's try to cure them instead shall we? Trying to save their souls might be nicer than your aproach.
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You can't cure something that is not a disease nor bad.
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True Christian™ Televangelist Director of Fundraising and Tithing On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
01-29-2010, 07:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intelligunt
Umm, you guys do know why Apple had the "Rainbow" logo? It's because back when they had that logo their Macintoshes could display colours (which was new for computers back then) instead of just black and white. They changed the logo to reflect this.
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That's a sorry excuse. If this were true, how come back when RCA made the first color televisions, they didn't use a rainbow/colorful logo?
Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
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Unsaved trash, Hatemonger
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Posts: 11
Join Date: Jan 2010
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Re: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac. -
01-30-2010, 01:57 AM
Get out of 1985, the rainbow Apple logo isn't used anymore.
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