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LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
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Location: Freehold, IA
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true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-26-2006, 09:14 PM
Look down from heaven, and behold from the habitation of thy holiness and of thy glory: where is thy zeal and thy strength, the sounding of thy bowels and of thy mercies toward me? are they restrained?<--- that be isaiah 63:15
i thinks this verse say that when lord God pass a liddle lord Godly gas , it ok cuz He loud an prouds not silent an violents , an it a manifest-tay-shun of His mercys. i be prayin that all true christian™ menfolk follow lord God's examples when they needs to pull thier own fingers, that they not do them sneaky fartz, that they open their bowels to heevens wiv a real noisy botty coff so that true christian™ ladys an childrins have plenty of warnings to escapes
that be true christian™ lady ---> <--- an that be unsaved stinky butt
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Location: Red Peking
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Re: true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-27-2006, 12:00 AM
In that case, if there really was a heaven, I'm guessing the senior landover pastors would be right at home!
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Devout seeker of the Truth™
True Christian™
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Posts: 636
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Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-27-2006, 12:28 AM
IF there is a Heaven? There's no "if" about it, heathen! Heaven (and Hell) is as real as you, me, and Jesus are.
The existance of Heaven is logical, how can the short lives we have on Earth be all there is to existance? The same goes for God, how could the entire world, its wide diversity of life, and sentient life come out of nothing by random chance, without the guiding hand of a divine being?
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-27-2006, 12:39 AM
I'm not saying this is all there is. I am atheistic only towards the Christian God and other Abrahamic religions which recognize that or a similar deity, for instance Judaism, Islam, Catholicism, all of that etc.
I do indeed believe there is more that just this, but no heaven, or hell, or any such nonsense, nor do I believe in a creator god.
And I do, of course, support evolution.
But, as I was saying, if your god did exist, no doubt he would be a flatulent, sadistic old codger with a small tallywhacker.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
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Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-27-2006, 12:45 AM
Yes, Men, Say it LOUD! I'm Christian and I'm PROUD!!!
And remember: Besides offending JESUS, those sneaky ones always smell worse, too
SUV
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
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Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-27-2006, 12:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
I
But, as I was saying, if your god did exist, no doubt he would be a flatulent, sadistic old codger with a small tallywhacker.
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Oh my GOD! How DARE you bad mouth Pastor P.
For that I am giving you 3 warning points Harlot!
Miffed, Sister Thumper
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-27-2006, 12:59 AM
I wasn't talking about Pastor Al. Although........
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Re: true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-27-2006, 01:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
I wasn't talking about Pastor Al. Although........
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YOU ARE ROLLING UP THE POINTS, MISSY!
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-27-2006, 01:16 AM
My dear Pastor Al, I said I wasn't talking about you! Maybe you should be talking to Sister Thumper, seeing as she assumed that I was
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-27-2006, 02:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
My dear Pastor Al, I said I wasn't talking about you! Maybe you should be talking to Sister Thumper, seeing as she assumed that I was
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Another warning point Missy for attempting to claim Sister Thumper has gas to the point of being a health nuisance in Church! Shame on your lies harlot!
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-27-2006, 02:24 AM
Did you actually read what I said, my dear BJ?
I didn't say she has gas, as her or anyone else's bowel movements are not something I really need to hear right before lunch... I said that she assumed I said that Pastor Al has gas, when I wasn't talking about Pastor Al.
Although....I have heard stories from Ching Lee about a box of matches being kept within easy reach in every room in his house.....
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 09-27-2006 at 02:27 AM.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
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Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-27-2006, 05:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Did you actually read what I said, my dear BJ?
I didn't say she has gas, as her or anyone else's bowel movements are not something I really need to hear right before lunch... I said that she assumed I said that Pastor Al has gas, when I wasn't talking about Pastor Al.
Although....I have heard stories from Ching Lee about a box of matches being kept within easy reach in every room in his house.....
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That noxious smell you detect is either from the contents of your caldroun or else the inedible meals that you cook and your husband has to dump behind the sofa, where it is rotting and collecting maggots for your next potion.
Next time you want to insult Sister Thumper, come and speak to me about it. I'll knock you down to size if your limp-wristed husband won't!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-27-2006, 05:47 AM
Zeke, how could I be smelling noxious gas that is in Pastor Al's house? Do I live with Pastor Al???
As for maggots, I wouldn't put them in potions or anything else thankyou very much
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-27-2006, 05:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Zeke, how could I be smelling noxious gas that is in Pastor Al's house? Do I live with Pastor Al???
As for maggots, I wouldn't put them in potions or anything else thankyou very much
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Are you insane?? Pastor Al is not interested in living out-of-wedlock with the likes of you....Now, if you want to apply for a job, thats different. Pastor Al always needs part-timers to rub ointment on his feet. Every hour, on the hour, 24/7.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-27-2006, 06:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Zeke, how could I be smelling noxious gas that is in Pastor Al's house? Do I live with Pastor Al???
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Please stop throwing yourself at me. I am old enough to be your gran....er....older brother.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-27-2006, 06:16 AM
Quote:
Are you insane?? Pastor Al is not interested in living out-of-wedlock with the likes of you....
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I'm only interested in living with my husband, daughter and possibly a roommate to help with the rent.
Quote:
Now, if you want to apply for a job, thats different. Pastor Al always needs part-timers to rub ointment on his feet. Every hour, on the hour, 24/7.
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That's Ching Lee's job.
Quote:
Please stop throwing yourself at me. I am old enough to be your gran....er....older brother.
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Old enough to be my father, I'd say
And how exactly is my relating the stories I hear from Ching Lee about you 'throwing myself at you'....?
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: true christian™ butt trumpets -
09-27-2006, 12:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
I'm only interested in living with my husband, daughter and possibly a roommate to help with the rent.
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Is that what they're calling it nowadays?
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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