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Gun BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-22-2006, 02:22 AM

We do this every year and I'm sure we have saved many children from evil toys. Hopefully nobody needs to be reminded about the Harry Potter Broomstick, so I won't list it this year. But I do want to put the bad old Ouija Board on the list not because it encourages witchcraft and Satanism, but because there's new evidence that Ouija can cause homosexuality! So I will start the list with Ouija. Please add your banned toys . . . good children are counting on our advice. Mother Glynndie


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Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-22-2006, 02:42 AM

I also imagine that this goes without saying, but any and all VeggieTales should never be found within a True Christian's™ Home!
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Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-22-2006, 01:59 PM

I know that the overwhelming majority of Saved® True Christian™ parents don't need to be told this, but there are certain dolls out there that you should never, ever, ever give to your children unless you want them to turn out like hellion or Darren:

Warning: Totally depraved link — do not click without adequate spiritual preparation and Bible reading beforehand.


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Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-22-2006, 02:11 PM

Certainly no toys or related products from these two abominations should ever be allowed into Christian homes. The on-going, public homer relationship of Bert and Ernie are an affront to Jesus, and a favorite recruiting tool of sodomites everywhere.

Just look at those Christ-hating beady eyes that Bert sports...


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-22-2006, 03:34 PM

I won't comment on this "game" - in fact, I'm not even looking at it as I post:



Leave it to the un$avED and their Sinful, Sexular attitude of "Get them while they're young and that way you will always have them."
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Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-22-2006, 03:52 PM

Ban ANYTHING to do with that Harlot Snow White who performs all kind of wicked sexual sins with those 7 midgets.

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I'm so pleased Mother Glendie has started this thread to help warn parents about the dangers of Toys.
Don't waste money on this trash. Give it to the Lord©
Leviticus 23:38
Beside the sabbaths of the LORD, and beside your gifts, and beside all your vows, and beside all your freewill offerings, which ye give unto the LORD.



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Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-22-2006, 04:15 PM

Ban any toys that the plutocrats buy from sweatshops in the developing world and sell through Wal-Mart at huge markups to teach our children to worship the military/industrial complex. Thank Mother/Father God that the fair-trade store near us has educational wooden toys that we can buy for Kayla.

I still have to figure out what to get my wife for the winter holidays. Last year, she surprised me by making a donation to NPR in my name, so I have to think of something equally nifty to do for her this year.
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Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-22-2006, 04:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darren Ingram-Myers View Post
Ban any toys that the plutocrats buy from sweatshops in the developing world and sell through Wal-Mart at huge markups to teach our children to worship the military/industrial complex. Thank Mother/Father God that the fair-trade store near us has educational wooden toys that we can buy for Kayla.

I still have to figure out what to get my wife for the winter holidays. Last year, she surprised me by making a donation to NPR in my name, so I have to think of something equally nifty to do for her this year.
Oh, my Gracious GOD, you horrible Girly-Man! I'm only happy that you apparently can't speak American and that I can barely understand a Word that you are bleating out in that first paragraph!
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Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-22-2006, 04:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Certainly no toys or related products from these two abominations should ever be allowed into Christian homes. The on-going, public homer relationship of Bert and Ernie are an affront to Jesus, and a favorite recruiting tool of sodomites everywhere.

Just look at those Christ-hating beady eyes that Bert sports...
Anyone with such a prominent unibrow is obviously a mooselimb from Towelheadistan. The show must be propaganda to teach children to worship the moon demon instead of Jesus.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-22-2006, 10:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unspeakable depravity

Tom of Finland
Why oh why am I so unsurprised to find the Finndevils have their fingers in this wicked enterprise?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-22-2006, 11:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by More Saved Than Thou View Post
I know that the overwhelming majority of Saved® True Christian™ parents don't need to be told this, but there are certain dolls out there that you should never, ever, ever give to your children unless you want them to turn out like hellion or Darren:

Warning: Totally depraved link — do not click without adequate spiritual preparation and Bible reading beforehand.
Of course, I had to click on that "totally depraved link" sort of like trying not to look at a train wreck! Anyway, call me shallow in a small town way, but why is Tattoo Carlos' rather skimpy thong so mis-shaped??? Or do I really want to know???
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Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-27-2006, 12:16 PM

Beware Australians bearing gifts; their mechanical animals are as randy and vulgar as the convicts who create them, and therefore have no place in the True Christian stocking.



"Wombat Devine" my foot!


True Christians are Perfect!

Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.
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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-27-2006, 12:47 PM

Only terrorists would give this toy to a child. I'll boycott any shop that carries them!
Not only does it speak satanic mudslime incantaions, but it comes with a real dynamite fanny pack. This disgusts Jesus.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Pastor Isaac Peters's Avatar
Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
Senior Pastor
Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
Always Biblically correct
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Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-27-2006, 06:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Only terrorists would give this toy to a child. I'll boycott any shop that carries them!
Not only does it speak satanic mudslime incantaions, but it comes with a real dynamite fanny pack. This disgusts Jesus.
Leave it to the mooselimbs to come up with a doll that says that it likes ass-salami, whatever the heck that is. I wonder what other "beautiful Islamic phrases" it says in both towelhead gibberish and a real language — "Death to all Christians," perhaps?


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
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Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-27-2006, 07:29 PM

Life sized dolls are demonic and just asking for children to develop unhealthy perversions.

Concerned, Sister Thumper
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SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
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Have at it, anytime!

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SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-27-2006, 09:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Only terrorists would give this toy to a child. I'll boycott any shop that carries them!
Not only does it speak satanic mudslime incantaions, but it comes with a real dynamite fanny pack. This disgusts Jesus.
Aw, it probably doesn't matter anyway. When the mudslums get Word she's not wearing her burqa they'll crash all their carts into these Satanic Curses then stomp them into tiny pieces on the floor.

"Allah Akbar?"

Yeah - Right
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Darren Ingram-Myers's Avatar
Darren Ingram-Myers Darren Ingram-Myers is offline
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Uppity Woman/Enabler Bleeding heart liebral Fluffy bunny Full of it Commmmmunnissss Democrat

 
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Darren Ingram-Myers is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Darren Ingram-Myers is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Darren Ingram-Myers is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Darren Ingram-Myers is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Darren Ingram-Myers is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Darren Ingram-Myers is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Darren Ingram-Myers is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Darren Ingram-Myers is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Darren Ingram-Myers is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Smile Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-28-2006, 12:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Only terrorists would give this toy to a child. I'll boycott any shop that carries them!
Not only does it speak satanic mudslime incantaions, but it comes with a real dynamite fanny pack. This disgusts Jesus.
I should get one of those for Kayla. It will teach her multiculturalism.
(#18)
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hellion hellion is offline
Nasty and Mean-Spirited
 
 
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hellion is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.hellion is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.hellion is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.hellion is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.hellion is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.hellion is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-28-2006, 12:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
We do this every year and I'm sure we have saved many children from evil toys. Hopefully nobody needs to be reminded about the Harry Potter Broomstick, so I won't list it this year. But I do want to put the bad old Ouija Board on the list not because it encourages witchcraft and Satanism, but because there's new evidence that Ouija can cause homosexuality! So I will start the list with Ouija. Please add your banned toys . . . good children are counting on our advice. Mother Glynndie
Ouija boards rock. And they don't cause homosexuality.
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SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
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Have at it, anytime!

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SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-28-2006, 02:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by hellion View Post
Ouija boards rock. And they don't cause homosexuality.
Oh GOD, Sisters - have you ever heard of such foolishness? I think this Child has been Eating too many Candy Canes!
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Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
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Default Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List - 11-28-2006, 06:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by hellion View Post
Ouija boards rock. And they don't cause homosexuality.
I knew it. You ARE related to Icky.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


 

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