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Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Default HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNA LYTTON-VASEY - 07-21-2017, 03:59 PM

Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Elmer G. White's Avatar
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNA LYTTON-VASEY - 07-21-2017, 04:09 PM
Dear Sister in Christ!

Despite your being in one of the most blasphemous countries on Earth, you've shown that Jesus still watches over the nation that produced the first American Language Edition of the Bible! Glory!





As a gift, I donate you some of the wisest utterings of Sweet Jesus concerning women!

Matthew 26:41
Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNA LYTTON-VASEY - 07-21-2017, 05:24 PM
Happy Birthday to our lovely Sister Joanna.

Guess who baked you a cake?



His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
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Jesus Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNA LYTTON-VASEY - 07-22-2017, 12:07 AM
Dearest Sister in Jesus:


May our LORD GOD smile upon you as you strive to serve Him in every way. I would have written you a poem but your nosey husband has to put his two cents into everything I do and say, so he would have probably thought I was trying to be an adultress.


In our Lord,
BrotherLarry

Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNA LYTTON-VASEY - 07-22-2017, 03:18 AM
Sister in Christ,

Happy Birthday!!



God created fossils to test our faith.

* * *

My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
 Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNA LYTTON-VASEY - 07-22-2017, 11:50 AM
Happy Birthday!

It must be a fount of constant joy to you that the advancing years have freed you from being a source of sin in men:

M't:5:28: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.




“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNA LYTTON-VASEY - 07-23-2017, 06:57 AM
Happy birthday, toots!

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNA LYTTON-VASEY - 07-23-2017, 09:11 AM
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