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Cool Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 05-13-2015, 12:06 AM

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Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
You are disgusting. Please drop the subject of anal sex for a moment and consider Lord Jesus. Can you think of anything but perversion for even a second?
Yes, I'm just ticked off about the amount of unfairness there is around here. Christianity is the "religion of love" remember? Love thy neighbor as thyself? Ring a bell? Or are you too busy trying to convince yourself I'm a pervert?
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Default Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 05-13-2015, 12:08 AM

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Originally Posted by computerdemon View Post
Yes, I'm just ticked off about the amount of unfairness there is around here. Christianity is the "religion of love" remember? Love thy neighbor as thyself? Ring a bell? Or are you too busy trying to convince yourself I'm a pervert?
Don't be silly. Christianity is not a religion, it's a relationship. You have no right to comment on the relationship I have with my Savior. You don't have one so you're jealous, and lonely, and bitter. We get it. We're trying to help, dear.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Angry Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 05-13-2015, 01:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by computerdemon View Post
Yes, I'm .... tl;dr....a pervert?
Friend, you are here in time to be Saved©. Jesus sees what you are doing in your room all the time as does your mother. Both are sickened by the ejaculate you spray and your utterances of His name in vain.
You ask God to help you yet you expect Him to deal with your murdering of babies. Think of their tiny potential souls, drying on your walls and mother lingerie. You people are disgusting!


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 05-13-2015, 01:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by computerdemon View Post
Yes, I'm just ticked off about the amount of unfairness there is around here. Christianity is the "religion of love" remember? Love thy neighbor as thyself? Ring a bell? Or are you too busy trying to convince yourself I'm a pervert?
Christianity is a religion of love, but we only have to love our brothers and sisters in Christ and our neighbors. And bear in mind that love is keeping God's commandments, which is what we do here. But Christianity is also a religion of hate. Our God hates almost everything.

Lev 20:23 And ye shall not walk in the manners of the nation, which I cast out before you: for they committed all these things, and therefore I abhorred them.

Lev 26:30 And I will destroy your high places, and cut down your images, and cast your carcases upon the carcases of your idols, and my soul shall abhor you.

Deut 32:19 And when the LORD saw it, he abhorred them, because of the provoking of his sons, and of his daughters.

Ps 5:5 The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity.

Ps 5:6 Thou shalt destroy them that speak leasing: the LORD will abhor the bloody and deceitful man.

Ps 10:3 For the wicked boasteth of his heart's desire, and blesseth the covetous, whom the LORD abhorreth.

Ps 11:5 The LORD trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth violence his soul hateth.

Ps 53:5 There were they in great fear, where no fear was: for God hath scattered the bones of him that encampeth against thee: thou hast put them to shame, because God hath despised them.

Ps 73:20 As a dream when one awaketh; so, O Lord, when thou awakest, thou shalt despise their image.

Ps 78:59 When God heard this, he was wroth, and greatly abhorred Israel:

Ps 106:40 Therefore was the wrath of the LORD kindled against his people, insomuch that he abhorred his own inheritance.

Prov 6:16-19 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

Prov 22:14 The mouth of strange women is a deep pit: he that is abhorred of the LORD shall fall therein.

Lam 2:6 And he hath violently taken away his tabernacle, as if it were of a garden: he hath destroyed his places of the assembly: the LORD hath caused the solemn feasts and sabbaths to be forgotten in Zion, and hath despised in the indignation of his anger the king and the priest.

Hos 9:15 All their wickedness is in Gilgal: for there I hated them: for the wickedness of their doings I will drive them out of mine house, I will love them no more: all their princes are revolters.

Am 5:21 I hate, I despise your feast days, and I will not smell in your solemn assemblies.

Zec 11:8 Three shepherds also I cut off in one month; and my soul lothed them, and their soul also abhorred me.

Mal 1:3 And I hated Esau, and laid his mountains and his heritage waste for the dragons of the wilderness.

Rom 9:13 As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.

Rev 2:6; 15 But this thou hast, that thou hatest the deeds of the Nicolaitanes, which I also hate.


A good Christian will want to be like God.

Ps 139:21-22 Do not I hate them, O Lord, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee? I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.

Lk 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.


Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

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Default Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 05-13-2015, 11:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by computerdemon View Post
Yes, I'm just ticked off about the amount of unfairness there is around here. Christianity is the "religion of love" remember? Love thy neighbor as thyself? Ring a bell? Or are you too busy trying to convince yourself I'm a pervert?
I don't know where you heard that foolishness. Probably the parents of a miscreant like you would say something like that. But Jesus Christ makes very clear that we are only to love our neighbors, and the only people we should regard as neighbors are good Samaritans.

Quote:
Luke 10:25-37King James Version (KJV)

25 And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?

26 He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?

27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

28 And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.

29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?

30 And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.

31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

32 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.

33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,

34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.

36 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?

37 And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.


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Default Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 05-13-2015, 01:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
For some reason many teenagers are refusing to use proper American. To assist parents with understanding their teenages I will now share my vaste knowledge on the subject of teenage yapping. Simply lookup what your teenager is saying and see what it actually means.

Teenager yappingWhat it really means
“Turn up”I want to have anal sex
“TBT” (When it isn’t Thursday)I want to have anal sex
“Grind”I want to have anal sex
“Chirped”I want to have anal sex
“Doe”I want to have anal sex
“Mupload that ish”I want to have anal sex
“Swerve”I want to have anal sex
“Swag money”I want to have anal sex
“Am I right, ladies?”I want to have anal sex
“I can’t even”I want to have anal sex
“Flannel Friday”I want to have anal sex
“Kk”I want to have anal sex
“Is that a thing?”I want to have anal sex
“YAAASSSSSSSS”I want to have anal sex
“Hashtag”I want to have anal sex
“Killin’ it”I want to have anal sex
“Sprang break”I want to have anal sex
“Dat”I want to have anal sex
“Mad”I want to have anal sex
“Fam”I want to have anal sex
“Turnt”I want to have anal sex
God Bless you sir for sharing! Teenspeak is just so vile anymore!
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Guns Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 09-10-2015, 05:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Friend, you are here in time to be Saved©. Jesus sees what you are doing in your room all the time as does your mother. Both are sickened by the ejaculate you spray and your utterances of His name in vain.
You ask God to help you yet you expect Him to deal with your murdering of babies. Think of their tiny potential souls, drying on your walls and mother lingerie. You people are disgusting!
I don't murder babies. I do't masturbate. (that's gross) And you misspelled their. I think it's time for a meme.

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Grammar Nazi Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 09-10-2015, 05:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by computerdemon View Post
I don't murder babies. I do't masturbate. (that's gross) And you misspelled their. I think it's time for a meme.
What is a "do't"? Is that punk talk for mattress masturbation?


I fail to see where any word I put on this forum was misspelled. I run the JesOS V10 - Th2 - 10543


Tell me, is the carpet in your room crunchy?


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 09-10-2015, 08:36 PM

I'm sure we all appreciate your effort to get "down with the kids" and bring us this valuable information. Excellent.


But they mocked the messengers of God, and despised his words, and misused his prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against his people, till there was no remedy. (2 Chronicles 36:16)

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Default Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 09-10-2015, 08:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Tell me, is the carpet in your room crunchy?
Brother James, are you suggesting that this young woman (I hesitate to call her a lady) is some sort of a rug-muncher?


Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Skull Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 09-10-2015, 11:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Brother James, are you suggesting that this young woman (I hesitate to call her a lady) is some sort of a rug-muncher?
I honestly do not know, only God does and those that have a subscription to the WebCam®.
I do know all perverts expunge bodily fluids everywhere they go, leaving a trail of viscous goo.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Guns Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 09-11-2015, 02:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Brother James, are you suggesting that this young woman (I hesitate to call her a lady) is some sort of a rug-muncher?
Errr ,I'm a gay guy.....
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Default Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 09-11-2015, 04:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by computerdemon View Post
Errr ,I'm a gay guy.....
Why did you choose to be queer? Why do you like to suckle a mans 'thing'? Don't you know swallowing babies is like eating hungry refugees?


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 12-16-2015, 10:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
I don't know where you heard that foolishness. Probably the parents of a miscreant like you would say something like that. But Jesus Christ makes very clear that we are only to love our neighbors, and the only people we should regard as neighbors are good Samaritans.
I cannot believe how much ignorance there is between the Christians :

Luke 6 (KJV)

27 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,
28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.

29 And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also.
30 Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again.
31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.
32 For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them.
33 And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same.

34 And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.
35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.
36 Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.
37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.
39 And he spake a parable unto them, Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch?
40 The disciple is not above his master: but every one that is perfect shall be as his master.
41 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
42 Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye.

Hosea 4:6

6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.
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Default Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 12-17-2015, 10:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sebastian Estrada View Post
I cannot believe how much ignorance there is between the Christians :
Have you never read how you're supposed to hate God's enemies?

Quote:
Psalm 139:21-22: 21 Do not I hate them, O Lord, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee? 22 I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.
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Bible Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 12-17-2015, 08:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sebastian Estrada View Post
I cannot believe how much ignorance there is between the Christians :

Luke 6 (KJV)

27 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,
28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.

29 And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also.
30 Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again.
31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.
32 For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them.
33 And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same.

34 And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.
35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.
36 Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.
37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.
39 And he spake a parable unto them, Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch?
40 The disciple is not above his master: but every one that is perfect shall be as his master.
41 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
42 Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye.

Hosea 4:6

6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.
Oh, I don't hate my enemies. It's enough for me that God hates them (Psalm 10:3). I'm just glad that God will punish them for ever and ever when I'll be enjoying Heaven.
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Default Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 12-17-2015, 08:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sebastian Estrada View Post
I cannot believe how much ignorance there is between the Christians :
What do you know about Christianity? You're a damned papist!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 12-18-2015, 01:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan Swallows View Post
Have you never read how you're supposed to hate God's enemies?
Seriously? I thought I was going to find a more challenging conservative Christian group in this site but... you just make it so easy for me :

Matthew 5 NKJV

38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. 39 But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40 If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 41 And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42 Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet your brethren[i] only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? 48 Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
What do you know about Christianity? You're a damned papist!
You mad bro? again.. you are just a kid pretending to understand the bible, but sorry son you just don't have it... quit doing it.. and go try to find a job or something else where you are good at it, let the teaching of the bible to us the people Who have God gift.


Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath. Exodus 20:4, Deuteronomy 5:8
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Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: How to decode your teenager's yapping - 12-18-2015, 02:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sebastian Estrada View Post
Seriously?...us the people Who have God gift.
No ego to see here folks, move along.


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