Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES!
Reload this Page I am getting married!
MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Creationist Ron's Avatar
Creationist Ron Creationist Ron is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 100
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Close To Jesus.
Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default I am getting married! - 12-10-2012, 11:03 PM

Dear fellow Christians, and forum members today is a very happy day for me, and in the near future even happier. In 2 days I am getting married. My father has a friend who is trying to marry off one of his daughters, and I met him we talked over dinner, and said that he wante me to marry his daughter. My father agreed, and I was told I would marry Elizabeth in 2 days. I am very happy I was starting to think I would have trouble meeting a real Godly woman. It is a relief to me now that I will be able to have a family. Elizabeth is supposed to move in with me on our wedding day, and tonight we are going to have dinner to get to know each other better. We have been equantinces, but don't really know each other that well. Does anyone know of any good Godly restraunts to go to? I know Chic-Fil-A is a great place to go to, but it's more of grab n go food instead of sit down, and eat. Does anyone have any tips, and how should I act? Should I assert myself as being the man, or should I be very polite, and laid back? Thanks in advance!
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Cranky Old Man's Avatar
Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
You kids get off his lawn!
 

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Christian Love Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Gunfest '09 Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound 1st Year Bible College Punched the most queers Public Awareness Medal Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Nerd Flat Earth The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Touched by Jesus Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD True Christian Artist God's chosen ones Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Paula Deen Negro Support Group True Christian Hotrodder 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Life Crown of Incorruptibility 20,000 posts BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Clorox Cured Me Anti-Biden F1 for God

 
Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I am getting married! - 12-10-2012, 11:41 PM

I have 3 tips for you, your life and your wedding:
  1. Use lots of Holy Scripture.
  2. Use even more Holy Scripture.
  3. And then use some more Holy Scripture.
Nothing says I love you like some fitting scripture.

Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."

Genesis 3:16 "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

1 Timothy 2:11-12 "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Creationist Ron's Avatar
Creationist Ron Creationist Ron is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 100
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Close To Jesus.
Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: I am getting married! - 12-10-2012, 11:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
I have 3 tips for you, your life and your wedding:
  1. Use lots of Holy Scripture.
  2. Use even more Holy Scripture.
  3. And then use some more Holy Scripture.
Nothing says I love you like some fitting scripture.

Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."

Genesis 3:16 "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

1 Timothy 2:11-12 "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."
Great idea Cranky why didn't I think of that? Us young kids are so clueless elders are full of wisdom! Thank you for the advice Cranky!
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Creationist Ron's Avatar
Creationist Ron Creationist Ron is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 100
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Close To Jesus.
Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: I am getting married! - 12-10-2012, 11:53 PM

I have one more question it may be a little inappropriate, but I will be as clean, and as brief as possible. How long should we wait to start "having children" per say. I would think it would be smart to make as many as possible as soon as possible or is this discouraged? Should we wait for a while? I know the whole point in getting married is so you can have children, and teach them the holy word of God, but should we wait for a while or get right to it as soon as we're married?
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Billy Bob Jenkins's Avatar
Billy Bob Jenkins Billy Bob Jenkins is offline
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
About as Straight and Manly as you can get
Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Ex-Masturbator Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Home Schooled True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot The Hatchet Child Rearing Award One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Ex-treehugger Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Mission to Korea Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I am getting married! - 12-10-2012, 11:54 PM

Amen. Remember Ephesians 5:22 especially, as it is going to be the first transgression your wife will commit before all the others. The first thing she will do is stop treating you like you were God Himself. That's when you know things are about to snowball out of control, unless you perform your role as man of the house. That role is basically the role of God Himself, according to Ephesians 5:22. So treat your wife like you would if you were the sole arbiter of good and evil. Basically, punish her whenever she offends your preferences, never question yourself, do not compromise with her, and always remember that you are infinitely superior to her, as God is superior to us.


The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Cranky Old Man's Avatar
Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
You kids get off his lawn!
 

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Christian Love Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Gunfest '09 Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound 1st Year Bible College Punched the most queers Public Awareness Medal Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Nerd Flat Earth The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Touched by Jesus Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD True Christian Artist God's chosen ones Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Paula Deen Negro Support Group True Christian Hotrodder 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Life Crown of Incorruptibility 20,000 posts BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Clorox Cured Me Anti-Biden F1 for God

 
Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I am getting married! - 12-11-2012, 12:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Creationist Ron View Post
I have one more question it may be a little inappropriate, but I will be as clean, and as brief as possible. How long should we wait to start "having children" per say. I would think it would be smart to make as many as possible as soon as possible or is this discouraged? Should we wait for a while? I know the whole point in getting married is so you can have children, and teach them the holy word of God, but should we wait for a while or get right to it as soon as we're married?
As many youngsters have these questions I made some guides for this:

Cranky Old Man's Easy Guide to MAKING CHILDREN, RAISING CHILDREN and GETTING RID OF CHILDREN!


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Creationist Ron's Avatar
Creationist Ron Creationist Ron is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 100
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Close To Jesus.
Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: I am getting married! - 12-11-2012, 12:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
Amen. Remember Ephesians 5:22 especially, as it is going to be the first transgression your wife will commit before all the others. The first thing she will do is stop treating you like you were God Himself. That's when you know things are about to snowball out of control, unless you perform your role as man of the house. That role is basically the role of God Himself, according to Ephesians 5:22. So treat your wife like you would if you were the sole arbiter of good and evil. Basically, punish her whenever she offends your preferences, never question yourself, do not compromise with her, and always remember that you are infinitely superior to her, as God is superior to us.
How do I discipline my wife though? I know I should just beat her in accordance with Proverbs 13:24, but how do I do it? I mean do I just punch her in the face, or on the bottom or is that up to me, and how hard? I don't have any experience with chastening people I have been chastened before. Maybe I should see if my father could teach me.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Creationist Ron's Avatar
Creationist Ron Creationist Ron is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 100
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Close To Jesus.
Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: I am getting married! - 12-11-2012, 12:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
As many youngsters have these questions I made some guides for this:

Cranky Old Man's Easy Guide to MAKING CHILDREN, RAISING CHILDREN and GETTING RID OF CHILDREN!
What a Godly thread how thoughtful of you Cranky!
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Creationist Ron's Avatar
Creationist Ron Creationist Ron is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 100
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Close To Jesus.
Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: I am getting married! - 12-11-2012, 12:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
Amen. Remember Ephesians 5:22 especially, as it is going to be the first transgression your wife will commit before all the others. The first thing she will do is stop treating you like you were God Himself. That's when you know things are about to snowball out of control, unless you perform your role as man of the house. That role is basically the role of God Himself, according to Ephesians 5:22. So treat your wife like you would if you were the sole arbiter of good and evil. Basically, punish her whenever she offends your preferences, never question yourself, do not compromise with her, and always remember that you are infinitely superior to her, as God is superior to us.
Also should I use a weapon like a cane or spoon or my hand or what? I don't have any disciplinary tools if father is kind enough he may give me one of his paddles he has lots.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I am getting married! - 12-11-2012, 03:55 AM

You might want to get the girl to read THIS thread.

Also, THIS TEST is an excellent tool to see how compatable you are.

Have you seen the girl yet? Post her photo here.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
FeministSocialistSlut FeministSocialistSlut is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 3
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: on my knees for some hairy stranger
FeministSocialistSlut is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: I am getting married! - 12-11-2012, 04:43 AM

Proverbs 31:10-31 E

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. ...
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Pim Pendergast's Avatar
Pim Pendergast Pim Pendergast is offline
PHD - Theophysicist
Saving The Lost With The Truth Of Applied Theoscience
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Friend of Jesus True Christian™ Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Prayer Warrior Christian Love TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College The Lord’s Witness Wound Early riser True Scientist™ One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Pancake Dinner Crown of Rejoicing Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Mormon outreach preacher extraordinaire Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness GLORY Proud Team Fortress Denier Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 3,087
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In the Lamb's book of life
Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I am getting married! - 12-11-2012, 08:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Creationist Ron View Post
How do I discipline my wife though? I know I should just beat her in accordance with Proverbs 13:24, but how do I do it? I mean do I just punch her in the face, or on the bottom or is that up to me, and how hard? I don't have any experience with chastening people I have been chastened before. Maybe I should see if my father could teach me.
Far be it from me to tell another man how to treat his own wife, but I usually hit my wife with an open hand whenever possible in areas of her body normally covered by clothing. Hitting her with a closed fist or a cane or paddle would leave obvious bruising or swelling that may take a while to go down. My only concern is that it might rouse the suspicion of any do-gooder feminazis she may come into contact with, and you know how they like to interfere in other people's lives. I don't want to go to jail. Of course, my wife should has as little contact with the outside world as possible, but some contact is unavoidable. Who else is going to do my grocery shopping, for example?

But sometimes my wife might does something extremely stupid and all of a sudden I find I've given her a black eye. For those occasions I've made sure she knows what to tell people who ask how she got it: "I walked into a door/ fell down the stairs."


Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Billy Bob Jenkins's Avatar
Billy Bob Jenkins Billy Bob Jenkins is offline
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
About as Straight and Manly as you can get
Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Ex-Masturbator Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Home Schooled True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot The Hatchet Child Rearing Award One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Ex-treehugger Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Mission to Korea Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I am getting married! - 12-11-2012, 09:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FeministSocialistSlut View Post
Proverbs 31:10-31 E

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. ...
The rhetorical question beginning this verse says it all. I believe Reverend Jim had six wives, was it? All of them adulterous whores, none of them worth a damn. Certainly not "excellent".

As the verse says, who can find such a wife that seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands, who brings her food from afar, etc. They are exceedingly hard to find, in these, the end times, as they were in the ancient world.

FeministSocialistSlut proves my point with this excellent choice of scripture.

Perhaps she will be a True Christian™ wife someday.


The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Billy Bob Jenkins's Avatar
Billy Bob Jenkins Billy Bob Jenkins is offline
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
About as Straight and Manly as you can get
Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Ex-Masturbator Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Home Schooled True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot The Hatchet Child Rearing Award One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Ex-treehugger Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Mission to Korea Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I am getting married! - 12-11-2012, 10:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Creationist Ron View Post
Also should I use a weapon like a cane or spoon or my hand or what? I don't have any disciplinary tools if father is kind enough he may give me one of his paddles he has lots.
Being the God of your wife in accordance with Ephesians 5:22 means using your innate creativity. You were created in God's image, to express yourself and your imagination as He did during the week of creation and continues to as He ensouls sperm cells, fertilizes zygotes, and shapes them into morulas and blastocysts in the wombs of fertile women, eventually giving them little tallywackers if they are blessed, or else denying them common sense and dignity in exchange for a lighter cranium (which is why women have such scrawny necks, like geese).

Basically, you can treat your wife however you want. You are her God, remember? I usually dunk my wife's head under water over and over when she screws up a meal or makes a mess. But you can do whatever you want.


The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Creationist Ron's Avatar
Creationist Ron Creationist Ron is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 100
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Close To Jesus.
Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.Creationist Ron has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: I am getting married! - 12-11-2012, 12:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
Being the God of your wife in accordance with Ephesians 5:22 means using your innate creativity. You were created in God's image, to express yourself and your imagination as He did during the week of creation and continues to as He ensouls sperm cells, fertilizes zygotes, and shapes them into morulas and blastocysts in the wombs of fertile women, eventually giving them little tallywackers if they are blessed, or else denying them common sense and dignity in exchange for a lighter cranium (which is why women have such scrawny necks, like geese).

Basically, you can treat your wife however you want. You are her God, remember? I usually dunk my wife's head under water over and over when she screws up a meal or makes a mess. But you can do whatever you want.
Well I guess I will just spank her with a paddle it's what my father did to me sure straightened me out. If that doesn't work I'll try dunking her.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved