Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum
Reload this Page I Must Confess....
Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Angelique Angelique is offline
Unsaved trash
 
Posts: 31
Join Date: Jun 2010
Angelique is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default I Must Confess.... - 07-15-2010, 01:02 AM

For the last several days, my fiance has been sending me emails, telling me that I turn him on and give him a (and I quote this derictly from the email) ″major boner″. I feel guilty, and I don't know what to do. Advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I Must Confess.... - 07-15-2010, 01:23 AM

Disconnect your email right away. You don't want to leave a permanent trail of pornographic bedroom-chat on the internets, do you?


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I Must Confess.... - 07-15-2010, 01:24 AM

Is he in the military? Maybe Major Boner is his commanding officer?


I knew a Carl Boner years ago. He was our shoe repairman in Freehold for awhile, but then he went away to prison for stealing Snickers Bars or something. Maybe they're related.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Angelique Angelique is offline
Unsaved trash
 
Posts: 31
Join Date: Jun 2010
Angelique is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: I Must Confess.... - 07-15-2010, 03:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Disconnect your email right away. You don't want to leave a permanent trail of pornographic bedroom-chat on the internets, do you?
Of course I don't! I am in the process of deleting my e-mail address as we speak.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Is he in the military? Maybe Major Boner is his commanding officer?

Umm... no sir... boner is slang for an erection o.O Thats why I'm freaking out.
I knew a Carl Boner years ago. He was our shoe repairman in Freehold for awhile, but then he went away to prison for stealing Snickers Bars or something. Maybe they're related.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Sister Charli's Avatar
Sister Charli Sister Charli is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Lady Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus

 
Posts: 1,590
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Koala Kountry
Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: I Must Confess.... - 07-15-2010, 05:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelique View Post
For the last several days, my fiance has been sending me emails, telling me that I turn him on and give him a (and I quote this derictly from the email) ″major boner″. I feel guilty, and I don't know what to do. Advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.
I understand your budgetary dilemma.

I too tried buying cheaper cuts to make my beef burgundy pies and while the T boner was cheaper, I found that the waste once weighed really outweighed any savings when compared with sirloin.

So now I much prefer sir loin rather than those boner cuts.


2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Professor Bessemer's Avatar
Professor Bessemer Professor Bessemer is offline
Professor of Creation Science at Landover University
Double PhD. Theomathematics, Racial Science
Returned from 10 year South Africa Expedition
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Ex-Gay True Heterosexual™ Public Awareness Medal Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Born again virgin Ex-Slut True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! True Christian™ Eunuch. True Christian Hotrodder Pro-Life Flat Earth Saved 10 Years Mission Long service medal, 3rd class 2011 Witch Hunt Award Doctor Ex-Masturbator Real American™ Porn Resistant BFF of Jesus Christian Love TC Bravery Teabag Patriot The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ex-Mary Worshipper Ribfest '09 Nuts for JESUS! True Christian Nerd Prayer Warrior Gunfest '14 Stamp of Approval Aardvark Cup of Jesus Kirk Cameron Fan Club

 
Posts: 2,991
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Returned from studying the negro in Africa.
Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I Must Confess.... - 07-15-2010, 06:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelique View Post
For the last several days, my fiance has been sending me emails, telling me that I turn him on and give him a (and I quote this derictly from the email) ″major boner″. I feel guilty, and I don't know what to do. Advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

This is more than likely your fault my dear. Do you dress like a whore? Do you adorn yourself in costly array? The Bible is very clear on this topic. If men are aroused, it is the woman's fault.


In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

1st Timothy 2:9-10



They shall not take a wife that is a whore, or profane; neither shall they take a woman put away from her husband: for he is holy unto his God.
Leviticus 21:7



For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit.
She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men.

Proverbs 23:27-28


I suggest that you stop your slatternly behavior immediately, before you damn this supposed fiance of yours to hell by being such a slut. Shame on you for your openly wanton actions!




'


Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University



Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Angelique Angelique is offline
Unsaved trash
 
Posts: 31
Join Date: Jun 2010
Angelique is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: I Must Confess.... - 07-15-2010, 08:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charli Harley View Post
I understand your budgetary dilemma.

I too tried buying cheaper cuts to make my beef burgundy pies and while the T boner was cheaper, I found that the waste once weighed really outweighed any savings when compared with sirloin.

So now I much prefer sir loin rather than those boner cuts.
I appreciate you taking the time to reply to this thread, but I think you misunderstood. By ″boner″, my fiance ment an erection. I apologize, for I should have mentioned this earlier.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Angelique Angelique is offline
Unsaved trash
 
Posts: 31
Join Date: Jun 2010
Angelique is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: I Must Confess.... - 07-15-2010, 08:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Bessemer View Post
This is more than likely your fault my dear. Do you dress like a whore? Do you adorn yourself in costly array? The Bible is very clear on this topic. If men are aroused, it is the woman's fault.


In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

1st Timothy 2:9-10



They shall not take a wife that is a whore, or profane; neither shall they take a woman put away from her husband: for he is holy unto his God.
Leviticus 21:7



For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit.
She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men.

Proverbs 23:27-28


I suggest that you stop your slatternly behavior immediately, before you damn this supposed fiance of yours to hell by being such a slut. Shame on you for your openly wanton actions!

'

Sir, my clothes may not be, er... feminine, but I assure you I do not dress like a whore! As for my actions, he told me in one of the e-mails that it's my horseback riding skills that he likes so much. Here is what he said, word for word:
″Angel, you're freaking killing me here. You say we can't have sex before we get married, but then you go and give me a major boner!!!! Damn it, but you looked real sexy in that race today. You and Ranger really showed them who's boss!!″
To which I replied:
That is super sweet of you to say, but it isn't going to make me have sex with you before we get married! Do you want to burn in hell for eternity? NO, you DON'T, so please stop sending me e-mails like this! I love you and I don't want to see you get hurt″
What am I supposed to do?My dad won't let me quit riding, and my fiance is suffering!
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Professor Bessemer's Avatar
Professor Bessemer Professor Bessemer is offline
Professor of Creation Science at Landover University
Double PhD. Theomathematics, Racial Science
Returned from 10 year South Africa Expedition
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Ex-Gay True Heterosexual™ Public Awareness Medal Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Born again virgin Ex-Slut True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! True Christian™ Eunuch. True Christian Hotrodder Pro-Life Flat Earth Saved 10 Years Mission Long service medal, 3rd class 2011 Witch Hunt Award Doctor Ex-Masturbator Real American™ Porn Resistant BFF of Jesus Christian Love TC Bravery Teabag Patriot The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ex-Mary Worshipper Ribfest '09 Nuts for JESUS! True Christian Nerd Prayer Warrior Gunfest '14 Stamp of Approval Aardvark Cup of Jesus Kirk Cameron Fan Club

 
Posts: 2,991
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Returned from studying the negro in Africa.
Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I Must Confess.... - 07-15-2010, 08:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelique View Post
Sir, my clothes may not be, er... feminine, but I assure you I do not dress like a whore! As for my actions, he told me in one of the e-mails that it's my horseback riding skills that he likes so much. Here is what he said, word for word:
″Angel, you're freaking killing me here. You say we can't have sex before we get married, but then you go and give me a major boner!!!! Damn it, but you looked real sexy in that race today. You and Ranger really showed them who's boss!!″
To which I replied:
That is super sweet of you to say, but it isn't going to make me have sex with you before we get married! Do you want to burn in hell for eternity? NO, you DON'T, so please stop sending me e-mails like this! I love you and I don't want to see you get hurt″
What am I supposed to do?My dad won't let me quit riding, and my fiance is suffering!
Racing on horseback? Why, that is the very pinnacle of harlotry! You sound like some sort of modern day Lady Godiva!

If I had known the details earlier, I would not have been so circumspect with my criticism! You are a filthy strumpet, straddling that mighty steed, with your legs akimbo and your breasts flopping this way and that, for all the world to see! Shame on you and shame on your father for allowing this display to take place!


Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University



Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

Last edited by Phebe Carlyle; 07-15-2010 at 11:51 PM.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Capt. Aaron Portway's Avatar
Capt. Aaron Portway Capt. Aaron Portway is offline
One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers
Salvation from Above
God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts True Christian™ Ribfest '08 Bronze Tither Saved 1 Year Real American™ Christian Love Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Mission to Australia Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Mission to Japan Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas God's favorite pilot True Republican Special Mission (North Korea) True Christian Provider™ award Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Divorcee Prayer Warrior Anti-sodomy Iceland Mission to Messico Gunfest '07 The Hatchet Child Rearing Award The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Long service medal, 3rd class F1 for God

 
Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I Must Confess.... - 07-15-2010, 11:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelique View Post
Sir, my clothes may not be, er... feminine, but I assure you I do not dress like a whore! As for my actions, he told me in one of the e-mails that it's my horseback riding skills that he likes so much. Here is what he said, word for word:
″Angel, you're freaking killing me here. You say we can't have sex before we get married, but then you go and give me a major boner!!!! Damn it, but you looked real sexy in that race today. You and Ranger really showed them who's boss!!″
To which I replied:
That is super sweet of you to say, but it isn't going to make me have sex with you before we get married! Do you want to burn in hell for eternity? NO, you DON'T, so please stop sending me e-mails like this! I love you and I don't want to see you get hurt″
What am I supposed to do?My dad won't let me quit riding, and my fiance is suffering!
I think maybe your boyfriend might be one of those beastiality perverts!

Why else would he get excited watching some stupid horse run around in circles? And if it's a male horse, that makes him a queer animal lover to boot!




Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Sister Charli's Avatar
Sister Charli Sister Charli is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Lady Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus

 
Posts: 1,590
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Koala Kountry
Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Charli has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: I Must Confess.... - 07-16-2010, 04:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelique View Post
As for my actions, he told me in one of the e-mails that it's my horseback riding skills that he likes so much.
You might as well have sex before marriage Angelique.

No doubt you have broken your hymen riding horses so you are no longer a virgin anyway.


2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Angelique Angelique is offline
Unsaved trash
 
Posts: 31
Join Date: Jun 2010
Angelique is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: I Must Confess.... - 07-17-2010, 02:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charli Harley View Post
You might as well have sex before marriage Angelique.

No doubt you have broken your hymen riding horses so you are no longer a virgin anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway View Post
I think maybe your boyfriend might be one of those beastiality perverts!

Why else would he get excited watching some stupid horse run around in circles? And if it's a male horse, that makes him a queer animal lover to boot!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Bessemer View Post
Racing on horseback? Why, that is the very pinnacle of harlotry! You sound like some sort of modern day Lady Godiva!

If I had known the details earlier, I would not have been so circumspect with my criticism! You are a filthy strumpet, straddling that mighty steed, with your legs akimbo and your breasts flopping this way and that, for all the world to see! Shame on you and shame on your father for allowing this display to take place!
Very well, I will find a way to get my father to let me quit riding. He won't let me because he paid a lot of money for Ranger and he can't ride the horse himself. But, it is worth it for 3 reasons:

1. I won't be sinning

2. I won't be causing my fiance to sin

3. I won't be saddle sore any more

Thank you all for your wonderful help.
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Lisa H's Avatar
Lisa H Lisa H is offline
Proud to be Blonde, Beautiful, and Baptist
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Heterosexual™ Real American™ One Year/1000 posts A for Effort True Christian™ Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Ex-Gay Home Schooled True Christian Lady Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth

 
Posts: 5,070
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Walking on the Lord's path
Lisa H has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLisa H has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLisa H has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLisa H has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLisa H has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLisa H has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLisa H has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLisa H has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLisa H has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLisa H has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLisa H has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: I Must Confess.... - 07-17-2010, 06:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelique View Post
Very well, I will find a way to get my father to let me quit riding. He won't let me because he paid a lot of money for Ranger and he can't ride the horse himself. But, it is worth it for 3 reasons:

1. I won't be sinning

2. I won't be causing my fiance to sin

3. I won't be saddle sore any more

Thank you all for your wonderful help.
I was thinking about your problem and found this useful information.

The correct way for a woman to go horse riding is to dress in a riding outfit and using a side saddle.

I found this picture which shows the correct way a lady rides her horse.



Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

Last edited by Lisa H; 07-17-2010 at 06:59 AM. Reason: wording
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Angelique Angelique is offline
Unsaved trash
 
Posts: 31
Join Date: Jun 2010
Angelique is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: I Must Confess.... - 07-17-2010, 07:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa H View Post
I was thinking about your problem and found this useful information.

The correct way for a woman to go horse riding is to dress in a riding outfit and using a side saddle.

I found this picture which shows the correct way a lady rides her horse.

Umm.... My dad said he would sooner let me quit, rather than buy me a new saddle and new riding clothes. But I suppose either way it worked out alright!
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Professor Bessemer's Avatar
Professor Bessemer Professor Bessemer is offline
Professor of Creation Science at Landover University
Double PhD. Theomathematics, Racial Science
Returned from 10 year South Africa Expedition
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Ex-Gay True Heterosexual™ Public Awareness Medal Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Born again virgin Ex-Slut True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! True Christian™ Eunuch. True Christian Hotrodder Pro-Life Flat Earth Saved 10 Years Mission Long service medal, 3rd class 2011 Witch Hunt Award Doctor Ex-Masturbator Real American™ Porn Resistant BFF of Jesus Christian Love TC Bravery Teabag Patriot The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ex-Mary Worshipper Ribfest '09 Nuts for JESUS! True Christian Nerd Prayer Warrior Gunfest '14 Stamp of Approval Aardvark Cup of Jesus Kirk Cameron Fan Club

 
Posts: 2,991
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Returned from studying the negro in Africa.
Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I Must Confess.... - 07-17-2010, 09:19 PM

My dear Angelique, I have been praying on you and your fiances situation and I believe I may have a solution that is different from the one I first offered. I still believe that displaying yourself like a common street whore is wrong, but I now believe that your future husband bears some responsibility as well and that your father's commands must be obeyed.

As God says in 2nd Timothy 2:22:

Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

If he finds that watching you ride your mighty steed cause his loins to become engorged, the "major boner" affliction your mentioned in your earlier post, it is his responsibility to avoid watching you engage in this activity.

The following passage from John also illustrates my point.

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

1st John 2:15-17

As far as your future husband is concerned, until the two of you are married, you are of the world. God has not joined you to this man yet, and you have not yet promised to obey him. At this point, you must obey your father and you must also endeavor to please your father until your husband takes his place as your master.

So if your father commands you to ride Ranger in tight fitting riding attire in full view of the public, you must do so. After you are married, you will be required to submit to your husband and his need to lie with you whenever he so desires.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Ephesians 5:22-24

I hope my counsel has helped you to understand your role as a future Christian wife. And please, if you have anymore questions, feel free to return to our holy forum whenever you feel the need for a True Christian™ perspective on a worldly matter.


Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University



Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Angelique Angelique is offline
Unsaved trash
 
Posts: 31
Join Date: Jun 2010
Angelique is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: I Must Confess.... - 07-18-2010, 12:44 AM

Thank you sir! I am sure my father, my fiance, and my horse will all be pleased with this solution you have thought of. My fiance may be a little disappointed that he can't watch me ride a ymore, but I amm sure he willl understand, as he also wants me to continue my riding after our wedding, even if he will be too busy with work to come watch me.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved