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Pedantic Pubescent Pedophile Papist Proselytizer
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,010
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church, Waterford, WI
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See, I told you so! -
08-14-2007, 01:53 AM
May the name of Jesus Christ be praised!
Yesterday, on my way back to the parish festival, a sniper shot me. I was rushed to the hospital and pronounced dead.
Well, I got called up before the Big Guy. I was commended for all my work defending the Church, and the Big Guy said that I did a really good job.
Then He had his angel open the Book of Life, and surely enough, somewhere near the middle was "Father Thomas Albert Martin."
And so He said: "Come, blessed of My Father, inherit the Kingdom which has been prepared for you from the foundation of the world."
So, here I am, over at the St. Jerome Library, where ol' Jerry himself (he LOVED the Bible) is putting me in charge of the online posting in heaven!
I told you so! I told you so! I told you so! I told you so! I told you so! I told you so!
Thanks Be To God,
Father Thomas Albert Martin
ACTS 5:29
Quote:
But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
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There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: See, I told you so! -
08-14-2007, 11:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin
May the name of Jesus Christ be praised!
Yesterday, on my way back to the parish festival, a sniper shot me. I was rushed to the hospital and pronounced dead.
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Friend, that's the only bit of your Post that seems to make any sense.
I suggest you stop taking Drugs, get that child off your Lap and get yourself straight before God does this for real.
Only difference is, you'll not be working in any Library in Heaven. You'll be in the Pits of hell suffering eternal damnation.
Praise Jesus.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: See, I told you so! -
08-14-2007, 12:02 PM
There isn't any specific Scriptural support for near death experiences. Many people use 2 Corinthians 12:2-5 as a Biblical proof text of near death experiences.
2 Corinthians 12:2 I knew a man in Christ above fourteen years ago, (whether in the body, I cannot tell; or whether out of the body, I cannot tell: God knoweth; ) such an one caught up to the third heaven.
12:3 And I knew such a man, (whether in the body, or out of the body, I cannot tell: God knoweth; )
12:4 How that he was caught up into paradise, and heard unspeakable words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter.
12:5 Of such an one will I glory: yet of myself I will not glory, but in mine infirmities.
However, this is taking great liberty with interpretation and makes the assumption that Paul had actually died when he found himself in heaven. The passage nowhere states that Paul had died. It was a vision that God gave Paul of Heaven, not a near death experience.
We need to be extremely careful in how we validate our experiences. The most important test of any experience is comparing it with the Holy KJV Bible. Satan is always ready to cause deception and twist people's thinking.
2 Corinthians 11:14 And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. 11:15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.
Because the Bible is silent regarding near death experiences, and creation science research has not been able to be performed reliably, a great deal of prayer will need to be dedicated to a person's belief in near death experiences. I will not state that all near death experiences are faked, imagined, or satanic - but I have strong concerns, Biblically, about the validity of most near death experiences.
Especially ones claimed by mary worshiping papist dogs.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: See, I told you so! -
08-14-2007, 12:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
There isn't any specific Scriptural support for near death experiences...
Because the Bible is silent regarding near death experiences, and creation science research has not been able to be performed reliably, a great deal of prayer will need to be dedicated to a person's belief in near death experiences. I will not state that all near death experiences are faked, imagined, or satanic - but I have strong concerns, Biblically, about the validity of most near death experiences.
Especially ones claimed by mary worshiping papist dogs.
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You didn't read the mary-worshipping papist dog's post closely enough. He's not claiming to have had a near-death experience, he's claiming that Mary and Pimp John Paul have actually called him up to Heaven to worship him for eternity. Either he has had a seriously excessive amount of "the blood of christ" or his bumboys got tired of his attentions and dipped his death cookie in LSD. Either way, he makes about as much sense as a Polack poem.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: See, I told you so! -
08-14-2007, 12:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
He's not claiming to have had a near-death experience, he's claiming that Mary and Pimp John Paul have actually called him up to Heaven to worship him for eternity.
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Working in a library is hardly my idea of heaven. My bet is he's in a drunken delirium laying naked in the back room of some queer bar.
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True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
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Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: See, I told you so! -
08-14-2007, 04:12 PM
Jerome is burning in HELL as we speak, for his efforts to corrupt the Holy Bible. He's not in heaven and neither are you, papist dog.
In any case, I'm sure the pope will declare this LSD-abusing priest a saint as soon as he hears this obvious lie from the bowels of hell.
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 08-14-2007 at 04:12 PM.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: See, I told you so! -
08-14-2007, 04:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner
Working in a library is hardly my idea of heaven. My bet is he's in a drunken delirium laying naked in the back room of some queer bar.
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Indeed, Brother. I'm sure that any "Book of Life" with that papist's name in it must actually have been the NAMBLA membership roster.
In any event, unless "Father" Martin repents of his Romanism, he will soon enough join the Catholic church fathers for all eternity, but it won't be in Heaven.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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