General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
|
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
|
|
HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! -
07-15-2014, 03:49 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TO GOD'S VERY FAVORITE
PASTOR!
I have something very special planned for you.
|
|
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
|
|
Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
|
|
Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! -
07-15-2014, 04:52 AM
A blessed Birthday!
The birthday tithe of my family is on its way with a courier service.
This day of celebration will be superseded only by the day when You enter Heaven! Such a sight! The day our LORD ascended to Heaven cannot compare with that, as Jesus Himself will be welcoming you! May You bless us with Your presence for many years to come until that glorious day!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
|
|
Helping boys become upright model citizens
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,293
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Columbus, Ohio
|
|
Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! -
07-15-2014, 06:52 AM
Happy birthday! God has richly blessed you, given you another year, American citizenship, and eternal life in Jesus. Shout Glory!
"Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 708
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Pajala, Sweden
|
|
Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! -
07-15-2014, 07:35 AM
Happy Birthday!!!
Isaiah 52:7
|
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! -
07-15-2014, 08:02 AM
Pastor Zeke, I do hope that on your birthday you will take my advice and stop working for a few hours. I know that's an alien concept for you, but I really sincerely feel a little rest and relaxation will do you good.
Oh, and before I forget, please don't worry if you notice your houseboy is missing. It's OK, he's with me right now. I decided it would be a nice surprise if I got him groomed for you. I figure he should look presentable when you have company over.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
|
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
|
|
Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
|
|
Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! -
07-15-2014, 08:55 AM
What can I say, Pastor Zeke?
Another year where Jesus has held off His desire to bring you to His side in the form or a falling safe or inapproriately positioned steamrollar.
It must be a validation of all of your hard work when Jesus feels you are of more use to Him in this fallen world, administering to unSaved scum and worthless trash who do not exhibit on tenth on the Godliness you possess in your smallest of members.
But take heart. Jesus' love is bountiful and I would keep and eye out for unwieldy power tools, inattentive tank drivers or Itallian streets in Pamplona.
One day Jesus will call you into His powerful muscular embrace, to be held in His firm thews; but until then keep striding manfully forwards, doing the work of The Lord with fear of reprise, thwartation or investigation.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
|
|
Ring-kissing Papist dog
|
|
Posts: 3,358
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Vatican City...where we keep the good stuff!
|
|
Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! -
07-15-2014, 09:32 PM
Does this have anything to do with cows and free milk?
If you haven't been to the Altar by now he is never going to put a ring on it!
Bless you, my town mattress,
Father Mo
.
A Cardinal in the making.
|
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! -
07-15-2014, 11:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester
Does this have anything to do with cows and free milk?
If you haven't been to the Altar by now he is never going to put a ring on it!
Bless you, my town mattress,
Father Mo
.
|
I am going to kick your ass. It's that simple.
I am going to
KICK.
YOUR.
ASS.
Wait for it.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
|
Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
|
|
Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! -
07-15-2014, 11:50 PM
Thank you, Brother Machine. You would think on this ONE DAY, our beloved Pastor and his loved ones would be free of disgusting CatLick persecution!
As for me, I am sending flowers born by that Freehold paperboy Zeke once admired from my porch. Will someone please give him a ride home if he has to stay late?
|
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! -
07-16-2014, 12:15 AM
You would not believe what just happened to me, Cookie. I took Zeke's houseboy on a road trip to Des Moines because I though it would be nice to get him a manicure and pedicure so he'd look presentable for Zeke's house guests.
Anyway, the lady at the mani-pedi place said she'd give us a good deal if we both got mani-pedis, so I said what the heck. Anyway, our fingernails and toenails are looking really nice now, but when we left the shop, some ruffians who saw us leaving together obviously got the wrong idea and started hurling epithets at us.
I just thank the good Lord I had my Ruger LCR-22 on me. And no, my conceal-and-carry permit is not current, so please instruct gate security not to let any state law enforcement or Des Moines cops into the city until I confirm that this is all straightened out.
I've obviously gone through a heck of a lot to give Zeke a splendid birthday week, but I don't mind. He's worth it.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
|
True Christian™ Nitric Oxide
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 3,477
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! -
07-16-2014, 12:39 AM
Personally, I can't think of a person who I respect on these forums currently, more than pastor Zeke!
Even though we've had some differences in the past, Jesus forgives, and so do we.
Now is not the time to bring up past discrepancies, Now is the time for us all to get together and celebrate this man.
I know you all will join me in offering up a toast and a prayer and singing a song for this man.
So, lets all sing together "happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dearest zeee-eeekkkeee; happy birthday to you"!
YIC
V
Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.
|
|
Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
|
|
Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! -
07-16-2014, 01:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
I took Zeke's houseboy on a road trip to Des Moines...when we left the shop, some ruffians who saw us leaving together obviously got the wrong idea and started hurling epithets at us....please instruct gate security not to let any state law enforcement or Des Moines cops into the city until I confirm that this is all straightened out.
|
We got a few calls...those weren't "ruffians"....they were undercover cops doing a stakeout.
Was this salon by any chance at a place called "The Midnight Sun Motel" ? ?
|
|
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
|
|
Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! -
07-16-2014, 03:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester
Does this have anything to do with cows and free milk?
If you haven't been to the Altar by now he is never going to put a ring on it!
Bless you, my town mattress,
Father Mo
.
|
How dare you! He put a ring on it 8 years ago.
It's just taking him a while to find the time to actually walk down the isle. He's a very busy and very important man. He is GOD'S favorite Pastor! That's all. You'll see. YOU"LL ALL SEE!
Don't upset Zeke on his special night!
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,124
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! -
07-16-2014, 03:11 AM
I'm thinking we should declare Pastor Zeke's Birthday a holiday in Freehold. He is, of course, bigger than little Freehold. But, government recognition of him needs to be established and Freehold is the best place to start.
Happy Birthday to a great Christian leader.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Hybrid Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|