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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 120
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hell. Roasting Eternally With The Dark Lord.
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Praise Jesus!!! -
03-18-2014, 09:29 PM
Hallelujah! SHOUT GLORY! Praise Jesus Christ LORD, and SAVIOR!!! My wife is pregnant again! After seeding my wife last night I went to my prayer closet to ask Jesus if she was pregnant, and surely enough she is going to have another son in 9 months! Shout GLORY. I am now a proud father of 4.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 50
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: log cabin down by the crik
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-18-2014, 10:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dipper Man
Hallelujah! SHOUT GLORY! Praise Jesus Christ LORD, and SAVIOR!!! My wife is pregnant again! After seeding my wife last night I went to my prayer closet to ask Jesus if she was pregnant, and surely enough she is going to have another son in 9 months! Shout GLORY. I am now a proud father of 4.
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Dont count them chickens before they hatch, diaper man. Ol Jesus has been known to smite them what was too prideful. Step careful lest the lord curse you with she child.
Proverbs 23:8 The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 120
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hell. Roasting Eternally With The Dark Lord.
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-18-2014, 11:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Orem Festus Jr.
Dont count them chickens before they hatch, diaper man. Ol Jesus has been known to smite them what was too prideful. Step careful lest the lord curse you with she child.
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I, and my wife are pure, and I believe that Jesus will bless us with a son. There is no reason to curse is with a daughter.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-18-2014, 11:41 PM
I could have gone all day without knowing you implanted your seed into your wife.
I think I'll bleach my brain now.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 120
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hell. Roasting Eternally With The Dark Lord.
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-18-2014, 11:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
I could have gone all day without knowing you implanted your seed into your wife.
I think I'll bleach my brain now.
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Sorry for any problems caused Mrs.Etheldreda. Just wanted to share the good news. Suppose I could've left that part out.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 50
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: log cabin down by the crik
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-19-2014, 12:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dipper Man
Sorry for any problems caused Mrs.Etheldreda. Just wanted to share the good news. Suppose I could've left that part out.
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Aint the place for porno,son.i got a stomach of iron and even i feel queezy.it shore is nice to see you grovel for mercy tho,least you got the sense God gave a possum.
Proverbs 23:8 The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-21-2014, 08:40 PM
Orem, dear:
I am not one to ever cause trouble because I believe JESUS wants us to always dwell on the things that please Him, but I heard a rumor that Chewer has a man-crush on you. I realize I am taking a chance that he might see this, but I just had to let you know.
He also says some of the meanest things about your wife. According to my source, he was telling someone that your wife is so ugly that on your wedding day, the preacher thought it was a gay wedding.
And I shouldn't tell you, but I understand he also said that your wife is so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon on your honeymoon and got stuck.
Finally, I won't mention when he supposedly said that your wife is so stupid, she once sold your car for gas money.
Have a blessed day!
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-21-2014, 08:47 PM
Hello, Brother Chewer!
I hope the LORD is blessing you today. I share in your joy at the news of a future soldier for Christ incubating in your wife's glory hole.
I am not sure why Brother Orem is rumored to have quoted this verse:
Mark 13:17
But woe to them that are with child, and to them that giue suck in those dayes.
One thing I am sure of, though: he said the first part of the verse was about your wife, and the last part was about you. I don't understand what he meant of course.
I am sure He was quoting scripture out of joy and respect for you - I can tell that the two of you are close brothers in JESUS. Well, it's time for afternoon prayer with mother at her new condo. One of the women in her complex is making lemon bars - and I must check them out to see if this woman might be a future employee of mine.
Praise!
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 50
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: log cabin down by the crik
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-21-2014, 09:35 PM
Its true sister Lamb! I can feel his beady lil.eyes starin a hole right on through the backside of my overalls even now.And he is always sayin mean things about my kin, specially ol wheezer.he dont even know wheezer.
And he say he enjoys hisself a 'Godly pinch of redman", but i reckon the boy meant to say he enjoys hisself a UnGodly 10+ INCH of Red Man's Manhood. The feller makes me ill at times I reckon. And chewin on the red man? Aint even gonna go there, the vittles i ate this mornin start repeatin on me if i even think of it.
But if he says sorry an means it i might forgive the feller. Then again i might not i reckon. Some wounds run too deep to be healt!
Proverbs 23:8 The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 120
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hell. Roasting Eternally With The Dark Lord.
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-21-2014, 11:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
Orem, dear:
I am not one to ever cause trouble because I believe JESUS wants us to always dwell on the things that please Him, but I heard a rumor that Chewer has a man-crush on you. I realize I am taking a chance that he might see this, but I just had to let you know.
He also says some of the meanest things about your wife. According to my source, he was telling someone that your wife is so ugly that on your wedding day, the preacher thought it was a gay wedding.
And I shouldn't tell you, but I understand he also said that your wife is so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon on your honeymoon and got stuck.
Finally, I won't mention when he supposedly said that your wife is so stupid, she once sold your car for gas money.
Have a blessed day!
NRL
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How dare you Mrs.Ruth! I said no such thing. I aint no homersexual, and I didn't talk no nonsense about his wife neither.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 120
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hell. Roasting Eternally With The Dark Lord.
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-21-2014, 11:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Orem Festus Jr.
Its true sister Lamb! I can feel his beady lil.eyes starin a hole right on through the backside of my overalls even now.And he is always sayin mean things about my kin, specially ol wheezer.he dont even know wheezer.
And he say he enjoys hisself a 'Godly pinch of redman", but i reckon the boy meant to say he enjoys hisself a UnGodly 10+ INCH of Red Man's Manhood. The feller makes me ill at times I reckon. And chewin on the red man? Aint even gonna go there, the vittles i ate this mornin start repeatin on me if i even think of it.
But if he says sorry an means it i might forgive the feller. Then again i might not i reckon. Some wounds run too deep to be healt!
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Exodus 20:16 "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor."
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 120
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hell. Roasting Eternally With The Dark Lord.
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-21-2014, 11:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Orem Festus Jr.
Its true sister Lamb! I can feel his beady lil.eyes starin a hole right on through the backside of my overalls even now.And he is always sayin mean things about my kin, specially ol wheezer.he dont even know wheezer.
And he say he enjoys hisself a 'Godly pinch of redman", but i reckon the boy meant to say he enjoys hisself a UnGodly 10+ INCH of Red Man's Manhood. The feller makes me ill at times I reckon. And chewin on the red man? Aint even gonna go there, the vittles i ate this mornin start repeatin on me if i even think of it.
But if he says sorry an means it i might forgive the feller. Then again i might not i reckon. Some wounds run too deep to be healt!
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Ise sorry for talkin bout your feller wheezer, but I don't be fornicating with no red man orem...
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-21-2014, 11:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chewer
How dare you Mrs.Ruth! I said no such thing. I aint no homersexual, and I didn't talk no nonsense about his wife neither.
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Chewer,
My sincere apologies if this story is untrue - I'm only relating what I heard so that the two of you can continue to be lifelong friends. I am NOT one to cause trouble, as I said.
I suppose when Orem said he was hoping you two could go camping soon, he meant fishing and hunting in separate tents. I admit I raised my eyebrow when I read in the private message, "We hope to compare our guns."
Glory to God that He brought you 2 together for fellowship.
Get close to each other, for the Lord loves when we meet people with whom we can bond.
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 120
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hell. Roasting Eternally With The Dark Lord.
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-21-2014, 11:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
Chewer,
My sincere apologies if this story is untrue - I'm only relating what I heard so that the two of you can continue to be lifelong friends. I am NOT one to cause trouble, as I said.
I suppose when Orem said he was hoping you two could go camping soon, he meant fishing and hunting in separate tents. I admit I raised my eyebrow when I read in the private message, "We hope to compare our guns."
Glory to God that He brought you 2 together for fellowship.
Get close to each other, for the Lord loves when we meet people with whom we can bond.
NRL
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Apology accepted. Reckon I ought not get mad at the messenger.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 50
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: log cabin down by the crik
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-22-2014, 01:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
Chewer,
My sincere apologies if this story is untrue - I'm only relating what I heard so that the two of you can continue to be lifelong friends. I am NOT one to cause trouble, as I said.
I suppose when Orem said he was hoping you two could go camping soon, he meant fishing and hunting in separate tents. I admit I raised my eyebrow when I read in the private message, "We hope to compare our guns."
Glory to God that He brought you 2 together for fellowship.
Get close to each other, for the Lord loves when we meet people with whom we can bond.
NRL
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Ill take the boy possom huntin.but he gotta share a tent with Wheezer.wheezer crys alot at night and needs somthin warm with breasts and a soft rump to slobber on.reckon ol dipstic fits the bill nicely!
Proverbs 23:8 The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 120
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hell. Roasting Eternally With The Dark Lord.
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-22-2014, 03:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Orem Festus Jr.
Ill take the boy possom huntin.but he gotta share a tent with Wheezer.wheezer crys alot at night and needs somthin warm with breasts and a soft rump to slobber on.reckon ol dipstic fits the bill nicely!
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If he need something with breasts, and a soft rump I reckon he ought sleep with you.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 34
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Over the Rainbow
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-22-2014, 04:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chewer
If he need something with breasts, and a soft rump I reckon he ought sleep with you.
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Fancy meeting you here, lover!
" I don't always read the Bible; but when I do, I prefer KJV 1611"
- The most interesting Dwarf in the world
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 120
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hell. Roasting Eternally With The Dark Lord.
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-22-2014, 04:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ex-Primordial Dwarf
Fancy meeting you here, lover!
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I aint gonna tell you again! I aint no homer, and I aint your lover.
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-22-2014, 04:27 AM
Congratulations to your wife Chewer. I'm sure she will produce you a good child. If she wants to discuss it with someone (women's talk) tell her to give me a call, as I am also with child, at the moment.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 120
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hell. Roasting Eternally With The Dark Lord.
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Re: Praise Jesus!!! -
03-22-2014, 04:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven
Congratulations to your wife Chewer. I'm sure she will produce you a good child. If she wants to discuss it with someone (women's talk) tell her to give me a call, as I am also with child, at the moment.
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I might take you up on that offer. Thanks a bunch Sister!
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