The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns. |
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Sister M&M's Praise Report -
05-29-2007, 01:14 AM
I've decided to start doing a Praise Report, whether the unSaved trash likes it or not. Jesus is working in our lives daily, and it's important to share the news when others can't!
For my first Praise Report, I'd like to tell you all the good news about Sister Wilma Fredrikson. Thanks to her unrelenting schedule of prayer and praise, God has worked another miracle and put her cancer into remission!
Her husband, John Fredrikson, says he has now seen the error of his ways and is sorry he made his wife undergo all that unnecessary chemotherapy "just in case". He has an appointment to meet with several pastors tomorrow to discuss his wavering faith.
Our prayers are with Sister Wilma who is living proof of the divine power of the Lord! PRAISE!
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
05-29-2007, 11:26 PM
I'd like to praise myself, just for being me.
"A she-goff who claims to not be a witch is the worst kind of contradiction."
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
05-29-2007, 11:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by roserougesang
I'd like to praise myself, just for being me.
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Have fun with that, since it's not like anyone else will.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
05-29-2007, 11:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by roserougesang
I'd like to praise myself, just for being me.
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And that is exactly what is wrong with you unsaved demons. Your ego prevents you from accepting Christ's gift of temporary suffering and death, which washed away my sins. All you think about is self-praise and self-pleasure.
Jesus is the one to be praised, not fat ugly bulldykes like you. Now go wash your hands.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Posts: 418
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Location: huddled up in a corner
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
05-29-2007, 11:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
And that is exactly what is wrong with you unsaved demons. Your ego prevents you from accepting Christ's gift of temporary suffering and death, which washed away my sins. All you think about is self-praise and self-pleasure.
Jesus is the one to be praised, not fat ugly bulldykes like you. Now go wash your hands.
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I don't believe in Jesus, so I don't see him worthy of any praise. There's many other worthwhile people to praise.
Who need some resurrected man anyway.
"A she-goff who claims to not be a witch is the worst kind of contradiction."
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
05-30-2007, 01:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria
I've decided to start doing a Praise Report, whether the unSaved trash likes it or not. Jesus is working in our lives daily, and it's important to share the news when others can't!
For my first Praise Report, I'd like to tell you all the good news about Sister Wilma Fredrikson. Thanks to her unrelenting schedule of prayer and praise, God has worked another miracle and put her cancer into remission!
Her husband, John Fredrikson, says he has now seen the error of his ways and is sorry he made his wife undergo all that unnecessary chemotherapy "just in case". He has an appointment to meet with several pastors tomorrow to discuss his wavering faith.
Our prayers are with Sister Wilma who is living proof of the divine power of the Lord! PRAISE!
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And you don't suppose that there's a possibility that the chemo had something to do with her remission?
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
05-30-2007, 01:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
And you don't suppose that there's a possibility that the chemo had something to do with her remission?
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What is it with you liberals and your crazy conspiracy theories? "Bush did 9/11", "chemo causes cancer to go into remission" "Bin Laden is hidden in Cliff Richard's mansion" - do you have any idea how crazy you sound? Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar, and a coincidence is just a coincidence.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Posts: 3,054
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
05-30-2007, 01:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
What is it with you liberals and your crazy conspiracy theories? "Bush did 9/11", "chemo causes cancer to go into remission" "Bin Laden is hidden in Cliff Richard's mansion" - do you have any idea how crazy you sound? Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar, and a coincidence is just a coincidence.
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ROFL!
First of all, I doubt that Shrubya has the brainpower to have masterminded 9/11.
But how exactly is it a conspiracy to say that if you are sick, and you take medication that is designed to treat the illness, and you get better, the meds had nothing to do with it? Now, if someone had a deadly disease, and took no medical treatment, made no dietary or lifestyle changes, and had a full, mediaclly verifiable recovery after doing nothing but praying about it, I would be willing to consider the possibility of divine healing.
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Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God True Christian™ Theologian
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Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
05-30-2007, 11:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
ROFL!
First of all, I doubt that Shrubya has the brainpower to have masterminded 9/11.
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What in heaven do you think you're talking about, twerp? For your information, our Godly President is so MIGHTY that he can HIRE a brain to do the thinking for him. You should be so lucky.
I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
05-31-2007, 12:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee
What in heaven do you think you're talking about, twerp? For your information, our Godly President is so MIGHTY that he can HIRE a brain to do the thinking for him. You should be so lucky.
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I see! Thank you for pointing that out! Karl Rove masterminded 9/11 for the Shrub! Now it all makes sense!
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
05-31-2007, 12:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
And you don't suppose that there's a possibility that the chemo had something to do with her remission?
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You just completely refused to give God any credit at all for anything, don't you? And what is it with the unSaveds never ending need to derail every thread on this forum?
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
05-31-2007, 12:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria
You just completely refused to give God any credit at all for anything, don't you?
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Go back and read my post, Sweet.
"Now, if someone had a deadly disease, and took no medical treatment, made no dietary or lifestyle changes, and had a full, mediaclly verifiable recovery after doing nothing but praying about it, I would be willing to consider the possibility of divine healing."
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
05-31-2007, 12:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
Go back and read my post, Sweet.
"Now, if someone had a deadly disease, and took no medical treatment, made no dietary or lifestyle changes, and had a full, mediaclly verifiable recovery after doing nothing but praying about it, I would be willing to consider the possibility of divine healing."
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Too many conditions. God works in HIS way, not yours.
And stop making lezbeanic passes at sister Virginia. I know she isn't much to look at, but she's no rug-muncher.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
05-31-2007, 12:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Too many conditions. God works in HIS way, not yours.
And stop making lezbeanic passes at sister Virginia. I know she isn't much to look at, but she's no rug-muncher.
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The reply was to M&M. An M&M is a candy - candy is sweet. Get your mind out of my crotch.
Last edited by Old Iron Crotch; 05-31-2007 at 12:55 AM.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
05-31-2007, 07:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
ROFL!
First of all, I doubt that Shrubya has the brainpower to have masterminded 9/11.
But how exactly is it a conspiracy to say that if you are sick, and you take medication that is designed to treat the illness, and you get better, the meds had nothing to do with it? Now, if someone had a deadly disease, and took no medical treatment, made no dietary or lifestyle changes, and had a full, mediaclly verifiable recovery after doing nothing but praying about it, I would be willing to consider the possibility of divine healing.
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While I don't believe that 9/11 was a conspiracy, you're sadly mistaken if you think Chimpy McFlightsuit (aka Dubya) is actually in charge. He's a puppet, A figurehead, no more. Men like Cheney are the ones actually pulling the strings in his party.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 05-31-2007 at 07:44 AM.
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
05-31-2007, 11:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
While I don't believe that 9/11 was a conspiracy, you're sadly mistaken if you think Chimpy McFlightsuit (aka Dubya) is actually in charge. He's a puppet, A figurehead, no more. Men like Cheney are the ones actually pulling the strings in his party.
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No, I don't think 9/11 was a conspiracy hatched by our own government. I was accused by the dear pastor of believing that.
And it's obvious to anyone with a working complement of brain cells that Shrubya barely has the mental faculties necesaary to wipe his own behind.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
06-03-2007, 09:43 AM
Yes, I know you don't believe in a 9/11 conspiracy. But it also seemed like you implied that Dubya actually leads his party. He doesn't, he's a figurehead. And the conspiracy theorists reason that the people who actually do lead his party are, in fact capable of such things, however I simply don't agree that it was a conspiracy. There are too many people claiming too many things are a conspiracy nowadays. It's maddening.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 06-03-2007 at 09:44 AM.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
06-03-2007, 08:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Yes, I know you don't believe in a 9/11 conspiracy. But it also seemed like you implied that Dubya actually leads his party. He doesn't, he's a figurehead. And the conspiracy theorists reason that the people who actually do lead his party are, in fact capable of such things, however I simply don't agree that it was a conspiracy. There are too many people claiming too many things are a conspiracy nowadays. It's maddening.
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Friend, I'd advise you to spend less time worrying about who did or didn't fly an aeroplane into a tower full of liberal queers on 9/11 and a bit more worrying why the Jews and Freemasons are trying to trick you into believing the LIE of evilution.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
06-04-2007, 05:24 AM
Ahem!
Now those of you who were in church today have already heard this wonderful story of God taking care of His favorites, but for those who weren't there, what's your excuse? But don't worry, I will share with you anyway.
Brother Elmer Johnson was driving home from Des Moines Friday evening after a solid day of good old fashioned street corner preaching and passing free literature to elementary school children when he saw a car coming down the wrong way on the freeway! From the way the oncoming vehicle was swerving, it was obvious to Brother Elmer that the driver was intoxicated, and the car was coming fast.
The two cars came within feet of each other, but Brother Elmer, thinking fast, got out a quick prayer to Jesus to come help him. Sure enough, the offending car swerved one last time at the last possible moment and instead plowed into the minivan driving in the other lane, killing most of the family in it instantly, except for the four-year-old boy who apparently will never walk again. The driver of the other car was also killed on the spot.
As it turns out, the family were all catlicks, and the drunk driver? A teenaged homer who just had his prom! Now we're not 100% positive he was a homer, but it was his prom night and he was in the vehicle without a female date or a chaperone, so all the evidence is leaning that way.
Praise Jesus! What could have been a disaster turned out to have a very happy ending thanks to the power of prayer!
A True Christian lives to preach another day, and a young cripple got to learn first hand the fruits of his families sin. God is truly awesome!
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Posts: 3,054
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report -
06-04-2007, 02:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Yes, I know you don't believe in a 9/11 conspiracy. But it also seemed like you implied that Dubya actually leads his party. He doesn't, he's a figurehead. And the conspiracy theorists reason that the people who actually do lead his party are, in fact capable of such things, however I simply don't agree that it was a conspiracy. There are too many people claiming too many things are a conspiracy nowadays. It's maddening.
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Please accept my apology if I gave the impression that I believe Shrubya leads anything except possibly the Parade of Fools.
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