[Free Market Fred]

Greetings fellow True Christians! I know it's been awhile, but as always I'm busy, especially at this time of year when my company is rapidly moving funds into hidden offshore accounts in order to prepare for tax season. None of this would be necessary if voters had wisely chosen Mitt Romney for president last time around - indeed, he practically wrote the book on tax evasion - rather than Hussein Obama. I can tell you that I was pretty shocked last year when I had to pay the communist IRS over $900 on my 2014 worldwide income of $2.3 billion, but seeing how we live in the golden age of socialism, what's a poor CEO like me to do?

Sorry, I don't want to sound like I'm complaining. Actually, things have been going pretty well lately. My company just managed to sell off its 50% ownership in KFC to the Chinks, and we plan to invest at least some of the proceeds in Godly Chick-fil-A, a patriotic company that understands why you don't want your family to eat in restaurants where homos are permitted. Would you bring your child into a restaurant where homos are having sex in the toilet stalls of the men's room? I didn't think so. Even worse, would you believe that KFC actually employs some homo workers, despite the fact that this could cause the food to get infected with AIDS!


Well, I can assure you that my company doesn't allow homos anywhere near our 100% American chickens! And thanks to recent secret free-trade agreements, we are having more success than ever at forcing other countries to drop their so-called "food safety" regulations, so that we can export our 100% hormone-raised chickens, thus benefiting our foreign customers as well.




And just so you know - there is no truth whatsoever to the rumors that these hormones cause weight gain in humans. We actually did an experiment last year feeding hormone-chicken to inmates at our privatized prisons in Texas - even though they initially did gain an average of 50 pounds in 3 months, that extra flab came off rapidly after they got stomach cancer, resulting in a net weight loss! If anything, I think we could market our chemically enhanced meat products as a "health food."

But I digress. What I really wanted to talk to you about today is the upcoming presidential election. As you are all probably aware, there is a good chance that the Democrats will nominate an America-hating socialist as their candidate.



Bernie Sanders gives the finger to America!

That's a double insult, since his father, Colonel Sanders, was a patriotic war hero. That's why you can see his statue at numerous locations throughout our Godly nation.


Colonel Sanders, a veteran of The Battle of the Bulge

However, in his later years, the Colonel seemed to go senile, and even started pimping for demonic Santa Claus!






It only goes to show that when it comes to defending the American way of life, we require eternal vigilance. Yesterday's friends could become today's enemies. Thus I hope that you - fellow True Christians - will all register to vote as soon as possible. With communists like Bernie Sanders threatening to destroy our nation with socialized medicine, banking regulations, and the minimum wage, we Republicans need to get out there and support candidates who will protect our Freedoms and CEO bonuses. Remember, that money in my Cayman Island's bank accounts gets spent eventually - it trickles down to families just like yours. Thus, voting against socialism actually makes the poor richer, ensuring that those unsolicited pre-approved credit cards will continue to show up in your mailbox.

[Des]

I won't find it too difficult to boycott KFC seeing as I've never eaten there. I've started to a few times, but each time my security have rushed back to the limo, telling me that once they scoped the place out it was Darkies as far as the eye could see.

I understand Darkies behind the counter. After all, you can't trust a Wetback to not wrap it in tinfoil and try to grill it. But Darkies actually sitting at the tables, slobbering on drumsticks with those inflatable raft lips of theirs while talking in Ebola and listening to the Rap? No thank you!

[Cranky Old Man]

Only blacks, girls and gays eat chicken. Real American True Christian™ men eat red meat that they killed with their bare hands!

Brother Fred, I really enjoyed our dynamite fishing in Siargao two years go. I never killed so much pygmy sperm whales in one season. Any chance we could do that again in the near future?

[I Man Rastafari]

Meat is not good for eating. Jah has given us the herbs of the field for eating. This can be found in the Bible in Genesis 1:29. The white man enslaves the Black man with his pig and his fried chicken

[Grandma]

Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari

Meat is not good for eating. Jah has given us the herbs of the field for eating. This can be found in the Bible in Genesis 1:29. The white man enslaves the Black man with his pig and his fried chicken

No, only Hindoos, Boodhists, and nigras are vegetarinazis. A True Christian™ will always be a meat eater! Romans: 14
14 Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations.
2 For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs.
3 Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him.
4 Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.
5 One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.
6 He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God thanks.
7 For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.
8 For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's.
9 For to this end Christ both died, and rose, and revived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and living.
10 But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.
11 For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.
12 So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.
13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.
14 I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean.
15 But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, now walkest thou not charitably. Destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died.
16 Let not then your good be evil spoken of:
17 For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
18 For he that in these things serveth Christ is acceptable to God, and approved of men.
19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.
20 For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offence.
21 It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.
22 Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth.
23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.

[Free Market Fred]

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

Brother Fred, I really enjoyed our dynamite fishing in Siargao two years go. I never killed so much pygmy sperm whales in one season. Any chance we could do that again in the near future?

Greetings Brother Cranky!


Yes, that was indeed fun, especially when we "accidentally" took out that Greenpeace boat with the "Save the Whales" banner on board. I haven't laughed so hard until last summer when my black ops people stole the clothes from some nudie PETA sluts during a protest in Berlin. They were actually protesting in front of a KFC, when my company still owned it (before we sold the franchise to the Chinks). Of course, we sent a taxi to "rescue" the poor girls...but instead drove them to one of them all-male Muslim refugee camps (during Ramadan, no less!) and dropped them off. I heard they got passed around for a whole week before turning up in a park, looking slightly worse for the wear but otherwise just fine. After that, we didn't have any more trouble with PETA, I'm happy to say



PETA sluts just before we "rescued" them


Anyway, when it comes to dynamite fishing, the technology has improved. Now thanks to our Predator drones (equipped with Hellfire missiles) you can take out a sperm whale and other endangered species from the comfort of your living room.



Fishing & hunting has never been more easy, or fun!

Just last weekend I got one of the last snow leopards left in Mongolia to add to my score. So yes, let's set up a date for doing this real soon - I suggest we aim for Earth Day if you're free at that time.

[Nobar King]

I haven't been to KFC since I ordered "extra biscuits", and that's not what I got.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

I admit to enjoying the Colonel's fried chicken back in the days of Uncle Remus and Brer Rabbit, and you could hear the "Old Plantation Play Song". Sadly the Colonel's old company has been sold so many times it bears little resemblance to just enjoying the old Southern delight. What with a tobacco company, then Pepsi (of all things a soft drink company that knows little about chicken). And now run by a company that owns Pizza Hut and Taco Bell (and the chinks are fond of eating the beaks and feet).

Well, it was time to move on to a brief encounter with Popeyes Louisiana fried chicken - until the Lord sent Hurricane Katrina to punish the rampant sin in the state (a not so subtle message from Jesus).

Sadly, all of these conglomerates have caved in to the homers and lezbeans. A True Christian™ just wants to enjoy eating some chicken - not attend a performance of "A Chorus Line". And of course "Finger Lickin' Good" doesn't mean today what it used to mean.

The only option left is Chick-fil-A.

[Grandma]

While I do eat Chick-Fil-a in a pinch, I usually make my own homemade Godly fried chicken. Any True Christian™ lady should learn how to cook, it's one of the reasons we exist anyway!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

In my experience, the best fried chicken is cooked by an obese nigress. When my kitchen mammy is indisposed (from a godly beating), I order mine from Church's, a restaurant that not only makes superior chicken fried steak, but also has a godly name.

[Des]

More on KFC: John Wayne Gacy, sodomaniacal homer serial killing boy buggerer and registered Democrat was a graduate of Kentucky Fried Chicken University and managed several KFC's.

Was it his love for sodomy that led him to associate with chicken-eating Darkies and vote Democrat? Was it his Commiecrat leanings which drove him to consume fried chicken and ultimately sodomized human flesh? Or was it his association with Negro KFC patrons that make him to adopt their cannibalistic sodosocialist lifestyle?

The world may never know, but the association between race mingling, sodomy, and Socialist Commie values thinly masquerading as 'Democratic' is undeniable.

A vote for Clinton is a vote for cannibalism, pure and simple.