Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed! |
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Unsaved trash, a Rich Joo (Luke 16:24)
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Posts: 258
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: NYC LA SFCA
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Mr Mayor, Please -
02-07-2017, 02:58 PM
I have put together the ordinances that I feel need updating and added a few of my own. Take a look, discuss it with Pastor Ezekiel, and I'll do the necessary preliminaries in Des Moines. We can get these passed by Easter if everything looks good to you and Zeke.
1. Homosexuals not permitted within 5000 feet of the gates of Freehold.
2. Marriages in Freehold can be dissolved with a letter of divorcement. (Updated the acceptable reasons to include burnt supper, inadequate housecleaning, and backtalk - all of which were blatantly missing from the original ordinance).
3. The "help" must have a secure ID issued by the Iowa motor vehicle department and the cost is the responsibility of the employee. The employee must wear clothing that will show up against a dark photographic background. (Altered this one to state that anyone found walking the streets without this ID is subject to termination of employment and imprisonment - 10 years)
4. Christianity is the ONLY acceptable religion. (I removed the clause that allowed non-Christians to do business with True Christians for things like auto repairs, painting, etc. as I do not think such an influence is healthy)
5. Removed term limits from all elected and appointed offices within the Freehold district. (Previously, the mayor and city council had to resign after 10 terms)
6. Established a more severe penalty for unsaved trash attempting to enter the gates of Freehold without a visitor pass. (The current penalty was 10 days in jail; I updated it to be 30 days plus permanent no-trespass)
7. Removed the limits on how large the pastor's airstrip can be, even if the new space might affect residents of the Obadiah subdivision. There is plenty of low-rent housing elsewhere in Freehold - they can move.
8. Changed "low rent" to include housing in the $2000-4000 per month rental cost. This is to go along with item 7 above. Prior low rent was 800-1000 monthly, which primarily included uninhabitable trailer homes which were brought in when Landover hosted the Exorcism Extravaganza in 2002 and a few two-room buildings on the far outskirts near the eastern wall.
9. Establishes an ordinance prohibiting any vehicle within the gates that is older than 2 years. Excludes visitors, of course, who will be permitted to drive anything for a period up to 8 hours (formerly 12 hours).
10. Makes it a violation of city ordinance for any resident to speculate about the activities of the pastors of the Church, with penalties of banishment from Freehold and/or imprisonment.
I think that covers all you mentioned but if there is anything else I'm at your service. Jacqueline in my office will be in until 4 PM today so just speak with her or you can leave word here.
A half truth is a whole lie.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Mr Mayor, Please -
02-08-2017, 06:46 AM
Hello, ex-Jooboy! I am proud to proclaim that all this was implemented years ago when I started to lead this congregation to Jesus, and this social order was in fact established well before my father Lamentations Flint beat the bejeezuz out of any uppity sodomites or females. Today, the list of ordinances is contained within a single volume.
Freehold is secure, we've just gotta convince Donnie to implement all this on a national scale.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,176
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Mr Mayor, Please -
02-08-2017, 02:16 PM
Maybe you could answer the question I have always had, Mr. Jew Lawyer. Do you Jews high-five or fist-bump at Easter?
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Unsaved trash, a Rich Joo (Luke 16:24)
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Posts: 258
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: NYC LA SFCA
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Re: Mr Mayor, Please -
02-08-2017, 03:43 PM
I have withdrawn my revisions and will not submit them to the state offices since it obviously wasn't appreciated and my acceptance of Jesus as Savior apparently means nothing to you either.
A half truth is a whole lie.
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Possibly retarded pothead
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Posts: 1,003
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Here in Babylon
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Re: Mr Mayor, Please -
02-08-2017, 04:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq
I have withdrawn my revisions and will not submit them to the state offices since it obviously wasn't appreciated and my acceptance of Jesus as Savior apparently means nothing to you either.
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Jah Ras Tafari came to save the Black man but he didn't say anything about Jews. Jews have kinky hair and white people do not like them so maybe Jews are really Black. The Jews of the Bible were Black so maybe some of the modern Jews are a little Black. The white people will get angry if I attempt to convert you so I will not but maybe you should be aware that Jah is everliving. I knew a Jew named Sid who was Rastafari and he even had dreads. Perhaps you should look into this.
Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
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Re: Mr Mayor, Please -
02-08-2017, 04:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari
Jah Ras Tafari came to save the Black man but he didn't say anything about Jews. Jews have kinky hair and white people do not like them so maybe Jews are really Black. The Jews of the Bible were Black so maybe some of the modern Jews are a little Black. The white people will get angry if I attempt to convert you so I will not but maybe you should be aware that Jah is everliving. I knew a Jew named Sid who was Rastafari and he even had dreads. Perhaps you should look into this.
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TREVOR! Stop this proselytizing at once! Get thee hence, Satan!
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,176
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Mr Mayor, Please -
02-08-2017, 07:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari
Jah Ras Tafari came to save the Black man but he didn't say anything about Jews.
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The Jewish Lawyer spoke of ordinances.
I am really offended when I drive around the metro and see people going into synagogues and Negro churches on or around the time of Easter Sunday. We Christians do not know what they do during their "services." Are they celebrating their success at killing Jesus? Do they sing "Hallelujah he is dead"?
What we need are laws that stop these heathens from holding services of any kind during the Easter season.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
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Re: Mr Mayor, Please -
02-08-2017, 11:04 PM
I have no desire to know what goes on inside places that preach anything but the truth of JESUS CHRIST and I would support any law that bans assembly of non-Baptists in proximity to True Christian™ holidays. In fact, I have written a letter to President Trump asking him to make it a Federal law that Jews and blacks can not hold meetings when the True Christians™ are celebrating our Savior's birth, His temporary death and permanent resurrection, and at Thanksgiving, when we show our True Christian™ gratitude to the ONE true God for all His blessings.
All this rasta baloney and kike nonsense is just making me full of righteous indignation. Had I those words written now, I would tear them asunder. I LOVE MY JESUS! I LOVE MY AMERICAN FREEDOMS! Brethren, let us join together to abolish the freedom to practice anything but the Christian faith in our country. It is the only way our nation will find favor with God.
God bless the USA and our Christian president.
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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