[One-eyed Jack]

We all know that Catholics venerate Mary, the mother of Jesus. They love her so much that they see her in burned toast, fried tortillas, and turd-shaped lumps of chocolate-factory waste like the one shown below.



While I personally would not feel much honored if people thought I looked like a turd-shaped lump of brown waste, Catholics seem to believe these peculiar flights of fantasy honor Mary. But I am coming to think that there is much more to the Catholic's Mary-obsession than simple reverence.

Let us be frank.

I believe Catholics suffer from a faux-religious negative-Oedipus complex. The Catholic initially accepts love for and submission to God the Father. But their cult leaders demand that any righteous Christian feelings about God be channeled into idolization of the figure of Mary instead. This leads Catholics to obsess about Mary, to elevate her to the status of a demi-god, and to identify themselves psychosexually with her.

In a word, Catholics subconsciously want to be Mother Mary so they can have carnal sex with God.

This is shocking, but it explains so much. Male Catholic priests wish to assume the passive feminine role and be sexually dominated and penetrated by God the Father. An unresolved negative-Oedipus complex explains why Catholic priests are almost without exception homosexuals and/or child-rapists. It explains why genuflection is so important: it is a sexual rump-presentation gesture exactly like dominance rituals in baboons. Hand-kissing is another cryptosexual ritual widespread in Catholicism. The negative-Oedipus complex explains why Catholics have an "Earthly Father" that they call the Pope: they need a flesh-and-blood focus for their perverse sexual fantasies.

(All Christians know that the office of Pope is unbiblical. In fact, the word "pope" does not appear in the Bible, and outside Catholicism the word is most often identified with the fatty lump near the asshole of a chicken or turkey.)

It explains why no woman is allowed to become a priest: male Catholic priests, who self-identify as the passive receptacles for their Father's anal penetration, would be terribly threatened if genuine women could replace them in their homosexual relationship with their imagined God.

While they identify sexually as Mary ("...the boy has a feminine identification with his own mother [and] wants to take her place in the relationship with the father") Catholics also subconsciously resent Mary. Thus they "see" her in ludicrous everyday objects like leaky double-pane windows, urine stains, fenceposts, rotting food, or cracked toilet bowls. Like many other deviants and psychopaths, Catholics are caught in a psychosexual love-hate relationship.

If not for their cult's history of torturous violence, mass-murder, and totalitarianist repression they would be almost worthy of pity.

~~ OEJ

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Brother OEJ’s succinct analysis is a masterpiece of incisive logic each piece of evidence leading inexorably towards a revealing conclusion.

You may wish to see some other things that have caused ordinary catlicks to soil their undergarments in paroxysms of idolatry. This is the gift of the vicar of Rome who laughs as he counts the coins from the gullible and poor.

1. A US hospital has asked the Catholic Church for help after being swamped by thousands of people seeking to view what they believe is an image of the Virgin Mary in a third-floor window… at least five years have passed since a seal broke in the window, turning the glass a blotchy white, the Associated Press news agency reported… But it was only last week that the murky patches began taking a form that is said to resemble the Madonna. “It seems like every day it gets clearer," Sharon McGarty, an administrator in a doctor's office across the hall, told AP. "It used to look like just a dirty window."

Landover Baptist Church says, “A dirty window is just what it is.”

2. But folks in the small West Texas town of Morton say they’ve seen the “Holy Mother” made of ice inside a freezer at the local grocery store. It started as one drip from the ceiling of a freezer at Morton Thrifty Foods grocery store. Now it has become quite the sanctuary for a lot of Catholic believers.

Landover Baptist Church says, “Don’t buy from the grocery store in Morton, they don’t clean their freezers.”

3. Devout churchgoers have begun worshipping a pizza pan - after claiming the Virgin Mary has appeared amid the melted cheese, tomato and pepperoni.

Dinner ladies at a school in Texas discovered what they took to be Mary's image on the base of a cooking tray. “Pugh Elementary School principal Lyda Guerrero said: 'I think someone was watching over us.’”

Landover Baptist Church says, “Yep, that’s right, it’s the quarantine section of Landover. If you thought worshipping Mary was bad, these catlicks are worshipping a pizza pan!”

4. CHICAGO - A steady stream of the faithful and the curious, many carrying flowers and candles, have flocked to an expressway underpass for a view of a yellow and white stain on a concrete wall that some believe is an image of the Virgin Mary.The stain is likely the result of salt runoff, according to the Illinois Department of Transportation.

Landover Baptist says, “Ask a priest and he’ll tell you it’s there to strengthen your faith. These guys’ll stoop to anything – even a choir boy.”

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire

Brother OEJ’s succinct analysis is a masterpiece of incisive logic each piece of evidence leading inexorably towards a revealing conclusion.

You may wish to see some other things that have caused ordinary catlicks to soil their undergarments in paroxysms of idolatry. This is the gift of the vicar of Rome who laughs as he counts the coins from the gullible and poor.

1. A US hospital has asked the Catholic Church for help after being swamped by thousands of people seeking to view what they believe is an image of the Virgin Mary in a third-floor window…

Surely that should read "the Catholic Church has asked a US psychiatric hospital for help after mistaking a dirty window for an ancient Jewess?"

4. CHICAGO - A steady stream of the faithful and the curious, many carrying flowers and candles, have flocked to an expressway underpass for a view of a yellow and white stain on a concrete wall that some believe is an image of the Virgin Mary.The stain is likely the result of salt runoff, according to the Illinois Department of Transportation.

Are they claiming that's an image of Mary's unmentionable parts? That's just sick!

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

This is what the Vice President's wife had to say on the matter: "But when it comes to apparitions, I have learned never to trust those Papists. They will start worshipping your poop if you don't flush fast enough!"

Pastor Billy-Reuben