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Default Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-21-2014, 12:20 AM

I'm just saying, if a fella just happened to find himself in possession of 200 Nigerian school girls, healthy virgin, schoolgirls, what might this guys obligation be? The normal 10% tithe or is it more?


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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-21-2014, 01:22 AM

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Originally Posted by Godfly View Post
I'm just saying, if a fella just happened to find himself in possession of 200 Nigerian school girls, healthy virgin, schoolgirls, what might this guys obligation be? The normal 10% tithe or is it more?
Biblical law would have you give one in fifty to the Church, or in this case four of them.

Numbers 31:30 And of the children of Israels halfe, thou shalt take one portion of fiftie, of the persons, of the beeues, of the asses, and of the flockes, of all maner of beasts, and giue them vnto the Leuites, which keepe the charge of the Tabernacle of the Lord.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-21-2014, 01:30 AM

I believe that Numbers spells out the distribution, which seems a little different than the normal tithe. As far as getting rid of them quickly, I would imagine an auction on E-Bay might bring the best price but then you might have to worry about shipping. Maybe best to put an ad in your local Craig's List classifieds for a quick sale (keeping in mind the longer you have them the more you have to feed them).

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And levy a tribute unto the Lord of the men of war which went out to battle: one soul of five hundred, both of the persons, and of the beeves, and of the asses, and of the sheep:

Take it of their half, and give it unto Eleazar the priest, for an heave offering of the Lord.

And of the children of Israel's half, thou shalt take one portion of fifty, of the persons, of the beeves, of the asses, and of the flocks, of all manner of beasts, and give them unto the Levites, which keep the charge of the tabernacle of the Lord.

And Moses and Eleazar the priest did as the Lord commanded Moses.

- Numbers 31:28-31


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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-21-2014, 02:44 AM

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Originally Posted by Godfly View Post
I'm just saying, if a fella just happened to find himself in possession of 200 Nigerian school girls, healthy virgin, schoolgirls, what might this guys obligation be? The normal 10% tithe or is it more?
You would need to check that they were virgins. Somehow I doubt it being from the deepest darkest jungle areas of Africa!
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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-21-2014, 02:48 AM

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Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
You would need to check that they were virgins. Somehow I doubt it being from the deepest darkest jungle areas of Africa!
They name one of their states Nigeria, then get mad when we use the word they came up with. Go figure!


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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-21-2014, 02:53 AM

3.7% of Nigerians have the aids. Therefore you can conclude that at least 7 of these girls do.
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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-21-2014, 02:57 AM

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Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
3.7% of Nigerians have the aids. Therefore you can conclude that at least 7 of these girls do.
And tithing one of those seven to the Church would be a serious faux pas.


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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-21-2014, 05:17 AM

I'll take the lot. Have them delivered by Friday at noon.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-21-2014, 07:21 AM

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Originally Posted by Godfly View Post
200 Nigerian school girls, healthy virgin,
You'll get the same price for non-virgin, so, shall we say, let's not worry too much about quality control. The middleman always takes his cut is what I'm saying.

As a successful job-creator, who has been on many medium-sized-game safaris in Africa, you really should have run this hypothetical scenario by me first, hypothetically.


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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-21-2014, 08:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Godfly View Post
I'm just saying, if a fella just happened to find himself in possession of 200 Nigerian school girls, healthy virgin, schoolgirls, what might this guys obligation be? The normal 10% tithe or is it more?
I'm really proud of a discussion like this. There are Christians who would never think of sharing their bounty with Jesus.

As to how much to share, Pastor Zeke has set the bar.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-22-2014, 12:53 AM

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Originally Posted by Des View Post
And tithing one of those seven to the Church would be a serious faux pas.
If seven have the AIDS how long would I hypothetically have before the others get infected? Hypothetically they are coughing a lot.


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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-24-2014, 10:20 AM

You need to be careful brother, as coughing is one way the AIDS is spread.


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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-24-2014, 10:49 AM

How would someone keep them from having anal sex if they start to turn lezbo?


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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-24-2014, 12:25 PM

Hypothetically speaking, I would unload the whole bunch before they start laying around your porch, smoking and drinking all day.

You'll never get rid of them if they ripen into hoes.


"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)

"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)
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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-24-2014, 05:13 PM

Don't forget Brother, a lot hinges on how these girls came into your possession. Hypothetically speaking, you might be obligated to marry them all! For your sake, I hope not, but I just mention it in passing.

In HIS name!


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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-24-2014, 05:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LordHaveMercy View Post
Don't forget Brother, a lot hinges on how these girls came into your possession. Hypothetically speaking, you might be obligated to marry them all! For your sake, I hope not, but I just mention it in passing.

In HIS name!
Friend, let's not be hasty here. Are those 200 Nigerian girls Muslims? If so, I think our brother Godfly needs to be very, very careful about marrying them, as they would clearly not be fit mothers for Christian children. Worse yet, they could even hypothetically turn their husband away from following the Lord:

Quote:
Deuteronomy 7:3-4

3 Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.

4 For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the Lord be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.
Also, I'm pretty sure the following verse means God doesn't want light skinned people marry those with dark skin:

Quote:
2 Corinthians 6:14

14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?


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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-24-2014, 06:28 PM

Brother Godfly,

Bless you for your concern for these children - and if hypothetically these young ones were hypothetically discovered, as a servant of Christ I would be more than happy to either:

1. Assist in helping them hypothetically return to wherever they might be safely found.
2. Fund the building of menstra-huts for those in need of same.
3. Fund the ministry that will remove any hint of Mohammed (Piss be on him) from their dark souls.

Just let me know, Brother.

In servitude,
NRL


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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-25-2014, 02:41 AM

For some weird reason this thread reminds me of a news clip I heard a few days ago about Obama sending American troops to some African state to help find some missing kids. I was too furious to listen to the entire clip because my blood was already boiling.

Obama has really shown his true colors with that move. I mean, when was the last time the U.S.M.C. was called into action for a missing American kid? Obama doesn't even call in the National Guard when some blue eyed, blond haired jewel goes missing. No-siree! All our precious American children get is an Amber Alert. Do you know what an Amber Alert is? It means that the retard Walmart greeter is dispatched to the bathrooms to see if the child is in there. Do we really want a Walmart retard finding our kids alone in the bathroom?

I think our American children deserve a little better response than a Mongoloid Search & Rescue team too lazy to get a real job and invest wisely.

Let Africa send its own military to find their kids. We need our military primed and ready to respond domestically by kicking open inner city doors until they find our children!


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-25-2014, 04:30 PM

Hypothetically speaking, who could a man turn to if he was plagued by thoughts of the "ba donk i donk" hind quarters of one of the lighter skinned girls?

What kind of welcome might I expect if I showed up at church with a light skinned ex-negro wife and 199 ex-negro adopted daughters?


Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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Default Re: Hypothetically Speaking what would be the most Biblical way to unload 200 Nigerian girls? - 05-25-2014, 05:44 PM

Oh, we've got a very, very special welcome planned for you.


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