Focus on Family - Christian Parenting A place where parents can get good Godly advice on how to raise a family: how to properly administer corporal punishment, which movies to avoid, and more! |
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Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
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Satan's Toy Chest -
08-12-2010, 12:46 PM
Coloring Books
Coloring books trick children into going against God's will. The Lord made everything a certain color. The sky is blue. Grass is green. Given a coloring book and a box of crayons, most kids will desecrate God's great design with orange dogs and purple trees, which pretty much guarantees eternal damnation. I have only wanted to change the natural color of something twice in my life, and that was Barack Obama when he won the presidency and my wife for a stretch in the 80s when I had an Asian fetish.
If you must buy your child a coloring book, pre-color it for him or her. You'll not only be saving your little one work, you'll be saving his or her soul.
Rocking Horses
A rocking horse simulates sexual congress and stimulates the young rider's genitals. Pleasure is being derived from a horse; ergo, the rider will grow up to be attracted to horses. Do not allow your child to mount a rocking horse. Your young one may grow up to star in a production of Equus or hang out at racetracks to play the horses without actually placing a bet.
Bowling Balls
Bowling balls encourage youngsters to stick their fingers in holes. If that doesn't fill you with moral outrage, then you are Satan himself (if you are Satan, please stop making me have weird thoughts about Zac Efron).
Baseball Cards
Having pictures of men is gay. Having pictures of men accompanied by statistics and biographical information is gayer. I haven't actually read the back of a baseball card, but more than likely tallywacker size is included. Given that all baseball players use steroids, I would guess that figure is pretty unimpressive. The term "big league" is a misnomer, folks.
Jolly Jumping Jack
Jolly Jumping Jack plays about as hard to get as a Carrot Top joke. Pull the cord, and he spreads his legs. A word of advice, Jack: if you want a child to respect you, wait until the fifth play date.
Medical Kits
Evidently toy-makers believe parents want their children to play doctor. Utterly reprehensible. Let's call it what it really is--a Pap smear kit.
Dolphin Foot-to-Floor Riding Toys
I'm not an ichthyologist, but I know that dolphins have holes somewhere on their backs, precisely where children ride this wicked toy. Little peckers and dolphin holes are an unholy combination.
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Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
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Re: From Satan's Toy Chest: Perilous Playthings -
08-12-2010, 03:36 PM
Toy-makers have been trying to destroy America's youth for decades. This is a contemptible game from the 60s.
Tight Squeeze
Children are dry-humping on the box cover. That's a pretty big red flag.
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Proud to be Blonde, Beautiful, and Baptist
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Re: From Satan's Toy Chest: Perilous Playthings -
08-12-2010, 03:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet
Toy-makers have been trying to destroy America's youth for decades. This is a contemptible game from the 60s.
Tight Squeeze
Children are dry-humping on the box cover. That's a pretty big red flag.
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Is that an alternative version to Twister that promotes groping and flesh rubbing.
Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.
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Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
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Re: From Satan's Toy Chest: Perilous Playthings -
08-12-2010, 04:22 PM
Twist-a-pillar
This queer caterpillar wraps itself around your youngster's leg like a horny Chihuahua. As if that weren't revolting enough, it also looks like the lovechild of the Hookah-Smoking Caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland and Liberace.
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Re: From Satan's Toy Chest: Perilous Playthings -
08-12-2010, 05:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet
Toy-makers have been trying to destroy America's youth for decades. This is a contemptible game from the 60s.
Tight Squeeze
Children are dry-humping on the box cover. That's a pretty big red flag.
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Brother, what is the GLOVE for?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
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Re: From Satan's Toy Chest: Perilous Playthings -
08-12-2010, 08:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Brother, what is the GLOVE for?
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I don't want to imagine what disgusting purpose it serves. The fact that it's purple makes it all the more sinister.
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Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
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Re: Satan's Toy Chest -
08-12-2010, 11:00 PM
Baby Dolls
It makes me sick whenever I see a little girl holding one of these dolls. Babies are evidence of sexual congress, so basically these toys insinuate the little mommy is a big harlot.
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True Christian™
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Re: Satan's Toy Chest -
08-12-2010, 11:13 PM
Thank you for this informative topic Brother OMH.
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Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
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Re: Satan's Toy Chest -
08-12-2010, 11:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Disciple Luke
Thank you for this informative topic Brother OMH.
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You're welcome. In the future you may call me "Mr. Hatchet."
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Satan's Toy Chest -
08-12-2010, 11:26 PM
It is just disgusting how the secularist will go out of their way to indoctrinate children into their little cult at an early age. It's like every toy they give their children has to keep pushing "it's okay to be gay", "dinosaurs are real" and "when you die it is the end of you so do what you want". Can't children be allowed their innocence? Must they start worrying about death and pain before they are even ten?
The way we Christians raise our children is much more kind. OUR children know that they can die any moment and Jesus is waiting to judge them.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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True Christian™
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Re: Satan's Toy Chest -
08-13-2010, 02:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet
Elmo's World Silly Sounds Guitar
This loud and garish toy promotes the rock n' roll lifestyle. I'm surprised heroine and STDs aren't included. What's worse, any boy who picks up Elmo's World Silly Sounds Guitar will surely have a steady stream of little girl panties thrown in his face. Chicks are suckers for guys with guitars.
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Brother Hatchet:
You make some very salient points
I note that the toy has been cleverly designed to encourage strumming the guitar near / on Elmo's 'toilet area'
I presume this is to covertly corrupt the child and to promote and cultivate Homosexual acts at a very young age
Leviticus 22:25
Nor from a foreigner’s hand shall you offer any of these as the bread of your God, because their corruption is in them, and defects are in them. They shall not be accepted on your behalf.’”
2 Samuel 22:31
As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the LORD is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
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Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
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Re: Satan's Toy Chest -
08-13-2010, 10:22 AM
Fisher-Price Smart Cycle
If you want your child to join a motorcycle gang, by all means purchase this toy. I predict within 24 hours you'll be dealing with leather pants, B.O., a lawless attitude, and broken furniture.
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Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
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Re: Satan's Toy Chest -
08-13-2010, 01:13 PM
Toy Story Dolls
Any decent parent should have qualms about giving his or her child a "Buzz" and/or a "Woody."
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Unsaved trash, Hatian with the AIDS!
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Re: Satan's Toy Chest -
08-13-2010, 04:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet
Toy Story Dolls
Any decent parent should have qualms about giving his or her child a "Buzz" and/or a "Woody."
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I stole a buzz toy from a friend when i was a kid. Today, i am not a thief anymore.
Leviticus 18:23 Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.
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Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
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Re: Satan's Toy Chest -
08-14-2010, 12:34 AM
You Explore It Human Body Kit
The human body is meant to be covered in shame and remain wholly mysterious; however, this fiendish kit encourages bodily exploration. I can proudly say that I have never had direct eye contact with any genitals or buttocks. I employ a viewing box similar to what one would use to observe a solar eclipse.
Notice the invitation on the box's cover for children to "grab it" and "pull it out." I am outraged!
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
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Re: Satan's Toy Chest -
08-14-2010, 01:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet
You Explore It Human Body Kit
The human body is meant to be covered in shame and remain wholly mysterious; however, this fiendish kit encourages bodily exploration. I can proudly say that I have never had direct eye contact with any genitals or buttocks. I employ a viewing box similar to what one would use to observe a solar eclipse.
Notice the invitation on the box's cover for children to "grab it" and "pull it out." I am outraged!
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I am afraid my eyes aren't what they used to be but is that a monkey wearing glasses in the ''scientist suit' on the bottom of the ''You explore it kit''. Is this some inside darwinian joke they are attempting there?
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
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Re: Satan's Toy Chest -
08-14-2010, 01:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis
I am afraid my eyes aren't what they used to be but is that a monkey wearing glasses in the ''scientist suit' on the bottom of the ''You explore it kit''. Is this some inside darwinian joke they are attempting there?
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It looks like a dog to me. It's probably placed there to subliminally make children want to seek out the groin area.
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Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
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Re: Satan's Toy Chest -
08-19-2010, 09:19 PM
Sing-A-Ma-Jigs
This toy bears a striking resemblance to something else:
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Satan's Toy Chest -
08-19-2010, 09:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet
Sing-A-Ma-Jigs
This toy bears a striking resemblance to something else:
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Open and shut case of encouraging children toward orally sodomizing their pet dogs. Probably includes instructions on how to lure their pet into a closet or some out of the way place before molesting it and a detail set of excuses for the dogs strange behavior to tell their parents
Jesus only knows how much abuse has been caused by this "toy".
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
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Re: Satan's Toy Chest -
08-19-2010, 10:27 PM
Full Body Finger Puppets
It's time for Mr. Owl and Mr. Zebra to get a prostate checkup, and your child's performing the examination. The makers of these despicable toys should at least have the decency to include latex gloves.
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