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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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Default Advice needed. Please help. - 09-23-2009, 08:22 PM

My aunt is in hospital tonight. She had a heart attack. She is in much pain and is suffering.
This is my Aunt who has taken me into her Church. And is helping me with my Bible studies and putting me onto the right path.
My question is this. I want to pray for her to get better and be well again. But I also know she wants to be with God. And her pain is so great. Should I pray for her to die?
Please help me . Advice from you is really needed right now. Because I'm being pulled in two. I love my Aunt so much. And she told me not three weeks ago that she is happy to die and sit with Jesus in Heaven. And that when she dies . I should not be sad.
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Default Re: Advice needed. Please help. - 09-23-2009, 08:48 PM

The lord will take her when the time is right. You needn't pray for that to happen. Just like a dog that is past its prime and is suffering and needs to be put down, people also know when they have lived long enough. Your aunt's intuition is probably right, she is probably hearing the voice of the Lord whispering to her to come to His kingdom. As far as prayer goes, you should pray that her doctors don't force unnecessary treatments on her that will prolong her suffering. Does she have her DNR signed?


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Default Re: Advice needed. Please help. - 09-23-2009, 11:05 PM

I think this is very much a time to be with your aunt. What could be more in line with the message of our Savior, Jesus, than to care for the sick?

Many sick people are worried. They are worried that they are not normal – that something sets them aside from the rest of Christendom. It is therefore important to treat her normally; every day bring in at least 2 Supersize Cheeseburgers with fries accompanied by thick milk shakes (quarts), and sit down with her and watch some movie that will take her mind off things – like “The Ring” or “Friday 13th”.

This is also a time for you to bring up the very real possibility that she will soon be sitting at Jesus’s Right Hand and all her treasures on earth will be as nought. It is a good time to remind her how many good works Landover can do with only $100,000 and how The Lord appreciates those who care enough to become, like him, poor.

Pastor Zeke and our expensive joo lawyers can provide all the forms necessary for a tax-efficient donation through her will.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

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Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: Advice needed. Please help. - 09-23-2009, 11:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
I think this is very much a time to be with your aunt. What could be more in line with the message of our Savior, Jesus, than to care for the sick?

Many sick people are worried. They are worried that they are not normal – that something sets them aside from the rest of Christendom. It is therefore important to treat her normally; every day bring in at least 2 Supersize Cheeseburgers with fries accompanied by thick milk shakes (quarts), and sit down with her and watch some movie that will take her mind off things – like “The Ring” or “Friday 13th”.

This is also a time for you to bring up the very real possibility that she will soon be sitting at Jesus’s Right Hand and all her treasures on earth will be as nought. It is a good time to remind her how many good works Landover can do with only $100,000 and how The Lord appreciates those who care enough to become, like him, poor.

Pastor Zeke and our expensive joo lawyers can provide all the forms necessary for a tax-efficient donation through her will.
Amen Brother Bathfire! Now is the time to think about God's will, not your aunt's selfish desires. Jesus will decide whether He is best servd by preserving your auntie in exquisite pain and suffering (possibly for years), or He mat decide to place His loving fingers around he heart and pop it like a boil. His will be done!

And speaking of wills, has your auntie made one? The most important thing that you can do right now it to find out, and see if she has made the right decision by bequeathing her entire estate to God's Favorite Church, Landover Baptist. I'm certain that you could spend some private time with her alone in the hospital room, using your good Christian persuasion skills to help her fill out the documents that our lawyers have forwarded to you.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Advice needed. Please help. - 09-24-2009, 05:13 AM

I've been at the hospital with my Aunt all night. Got back home about an hour ago.
She is refusing any treatment apart from mild pain relief. And as I'm as near to a daughter that she has. She has been discussing her passing and funeral arrangements with me. It's as if she know's she's leaving me. And is giving me instructions on how to carry on without her. My own heart is aching so much this morning for her.
She has left nearly everything to me. And has made her will iron clad. Because she fears that the rest of our family will behave like vultures. And as Aunt is very wealthy she wants the Church to benefit from her sad demise.
She has said that I should pray to Our Lord, that he not leave her in too much pain. But she said not to pray for her to get better. As she has made peace with God and is happy she is going to be with him. That I should not be sad. But in my prayers say thankyou to God.
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Default Re: Advice needed. Please help. - 09-24-2009, 07:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by angels View Post
I've been at the hospital with my Aunt all night. Got back home about an hour ago.
She is refusing any treatment apart from mild pain relief. And as I'm as near to a daughter that she has. She has been discussing her passing and funeral arrangements with me. It's as if she know's she's leaving me. And is giving me instructions on how to carry on without her. My own heart is aching so much this morning for her.
She has left nearly everything to me. And has made her will iron clad. Because she fears that the rest of our family will behave like vultures. And as Aunt is very wealthy she wants the Church to benefit from her sad demise.
She has said that I should pray to Our Lord, that he not leave her in too much pain. But she said not to pray for her to get better. As she has made peace with God and is happy she is going to be with him. That I should not be sad. But in my prayers say thankyou to God.
I know how close you are to your auntie, so I'd like to recommend THIS Landover Baptist-approved book to help you cope at this hour of need.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Advice needed. Please help. - 09-24-2009, 07:17 PM

Thankyou Pastor for your kindness.

My Auntie passed away this evening. I feel completely shell shocked.
I keep asking God if I did right by Aunt. And I am so proud to have been her niece. She was a Wonderful Lady.
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Default Re: Advice needed. Please help. - 09-24-2009, 07:22 PM

Awwwww angels, I am sorry for your loss. An internet >hug< for you. I think she did a good job raising you. Everyday though your actiions, you will be honoring her.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Advice needed. Please help. - 09-24-2009, 09:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by angels View Post
Thankyou Pastor for your kindness.

My Auntie passed away this evening. I feel completely shell shocked.
I keep asking God if I did right by Aunt. And I am so proud to have been her niece. She was a Wonderful Lady.
I'm really sorry to hear that, Angels. I can't imagine what you're going through right now.


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: Advice needed. Please help. - 09-25-2009, 12:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by angels View Post
Thankyou Pastor for your kindness.

My Auntie passed away this evening. I feel completely shell shocked.
I keep asking God if I did right by Aunt. And I am so proud to have been her niece. She was a Wonderful Lady.
Well Jesus has seen fit in His infinite love to kill auntie and send her on to her eternal reward. Not having met the old battleaxe sweet old lady, I cannot speak with authority about whether she is up in Heaven pouring a cold beer for Jesus, or down in hellfire being peeled like a grape.

In any event, she clearly communicated her last wishes that every cent of her estate be donated to Landover Baptist Church, in order to help us spread the Good News about Jesus being ready willing and able to kill us all at His pleasure, on account of us all being filthy scum who richly deserve it.

Contact me at my private email address (link at the bottom of my signature) so that we can finalize the details.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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