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Reload this Page Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!
MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

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Nobar King's Avatar
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Jesus Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 06-02-2017, 04:55 PM

I don't know how this fad started but if I ever meet a woman and she has this in her I would run so fast I would probably pull a groin.

Also: no smokers and no knuckle crackers.


That is all.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucele.../#6d2595c46622


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 06-02-2017, 09:04 PM

Some years ago there was some excitement over something called "The Vagina Monologues", and I got the impression that they talked - but I personally have never witnessed it.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 06-02-2017, 09:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
Some years ago there was some excitement over something called "The Vagina Monologues", and I got the impression that they talked - but I personally have never witnessed it.
Let me assure you brothers, they do not talk. They yell. They scream. They punish women for our entire lives, delivering the horrendous reminder of our shame in the Garden. They harbor Satan's Waterfall once a month for those who are not blessed enough to be married off and actively producing little Soldiers of Christ. They tell our brains lies and tell our hearts even bigger lies. They lead weak women to lives of shame and humiliation like bridles lead horses. They lead sinners to the doorstep of Hell like a carrot leads and ass to work the fields. They control whatever they can, which is why their subjugation is our greatest challenge. They have minds of their own and they communicate with men in ways we cannot always foresee, but they do not talk.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 06-02-2017, 10:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I don't know how this fad started
No doubt Hillary Clinton started this fad so she can blame the wasps in her cooter for losing the elections instead of admitting she was a terrible candidate.


CANCER is a state of mind! Time to stop ALL healthcare!!!
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To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 06-02-2017, 11:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
No doubt Hillary Clinton started this fad so she can blame the wasps in her cooter for losing the elections instead of admitting she was a terrible candidate.
Now we understand why Bill Clinton undertook his quest for wasp-free cooters.


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brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 06-03-2017, 12:05 PM

Who in their right state of mind would put a wasp nest up there?
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Default Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 06-03-2017, 11:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by agnesaliencat View Post
Who in their right state of mind would put a wasp nest up there?
That is an excellent question. As a simple person I cannot find a motive. I can only echo the poster before me.


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
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Default Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 06-04-2017, 11:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland View Post
That is an excellent question. As a simple person I cannot find a motive. I can only echo the poster before me.
Even as a non-Christian female who likes to have freedom to do whatever I want with my body, there are some things that I absolutely would not do, and having a wasp nest put up there is one of those things (those who do such a thing are literally asking for a Darwin Award).

(for those who don't know, the Darwin Awards are handed out to those who have done something stupid and paid for it with their lives).
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Default Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 06-04-2017, 09:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by agnesaliencat View Post
for those who don't know, the Darwin Awards are handed out to those who have done something stupid and paid for it with their lives.
Darwinists are rewarding people for that?!? This is political correctness gone mad.
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Default Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 06-05-2017, 02:56 PM

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Darwinists are rewarding people for that?!? This is political correctness gone mad.
No lol, as people just look for stupid ways in which others have unintentionally ended their lives.
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Scared Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 06-14-2017, 08:23 PM

Kids today. Next thing you know they will be stuffing rodents in their rectums.
What ever happened to just putting a tack on Satan's seat?
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart
Where?
Down in my heart!
Where?
Down in my heart!
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart
Down in my heart to stay


And I'm so happy
So very happy
I've got the love of Jesus in my heart
Down in my heart
And I'm so happy
So very happy
I've got the love of Jesus in my heart.


I've got the love of Jesus, love of Jesus
Down in my heart
Where?
Down in my heart!
Where?
Down in my heart!
I've got the love of Jesus, love of Jesus
Down in my heart
Where?
Down in my heart to stay.


And I'm so happy
So very happy
I've got the love of Jesus in my heart
Down in my heart
And I'm so happy
So very happy
I've got the love of Jesus in my heart.


I've got the peace that passes understanding
Way down in the depths of my heart!
Where?
Down in the depths of my heart!
Where?
Down in the depths of my heart!
I've got the peace that passes understanding
Way down in the depths of my heart!
Down in my heart to stay


And I'm so happy
So very happy
I've got the love of Jesus in my heart
Down in my heart
And I'm so happy
So very happy
I've got the love of Jesus in my heart.


And if the Devil doesn't like it
He can sit on a tack!
Ouch!
Sit on a tack!
Ouch!
Sit on a tack!
And if the Devil doesn't like it
He can sit on a tack!
Ouch!
Sit on a tack to stay!


And I'm so happy
So very happy
I've got the love of Jesus in my heart
Down in my heart
And I'm so happy
So very happy
I've got the love of Jesus in my heart.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Skull Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 06-20-2017, 03:04 PM

Speaking of wasp nests and cooters, I still have not seen my wife, Mrs. Hutchins. It has been oh, I do not know, three to five months now. I've kept an eye out for her when I drive the Hummer around the plantation or one of my cars into town. I've even offered a $5 bounty to any picaninny nigra that can produce enough of her to prove her were abouts.
For those that do not know her, the top of her head comes to about your shoulder, she has produced many children for Jesus, she makes a very passable meatloaf. I am not sure about much else. I am very worried that God will see the lack of new babies in the house it it may affect my standing with Him.
If she is not located by February of 2018, I guess I'll have to get her declared as dead as 20 year old milk cow and find a new wife. I just hate the thought of all this time being wasted and the trouble it is causing me to get my meals and arrange for her chores to be done. So inconsiderate.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Grammar Nazi Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 06-28-2017, 12:42 PM

I've just noticed, it is just over a week since I last considered the whereabouts of my wife, Mrs. Hutchins. If it was not so hot out and I was already obligated to serve as a swim counselor for the LBC Summer Camp for Young Male Christians, I'd go look for her. But seeing she is an adult, I do not want her to get all worked about what with me checking up on her and observing her every move. I know how women can be about their privacy.
I must admit, I do not miss the sounds of her clumsily breaking my Steuben cognac glasses when she hand washes them. Fortunately there are many other female Hutchins (I think they are my daughters) around to do female duties. A few more months and I guess I'll have to alert the sheriff, perhaps during the September Poker in the back for Jesus charity card game at the LBC mens club.
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Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 07-04-2017, 10:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I don't know how this fad started but if I ever meet a woman and she has this in her I would run so fast I would probably pull a groin.

Also: no smokers and no knuckle crackers.
None of those things seem like unreasonable expectations in a prospective mate.


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Default Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 07-05-2017, 01:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by agnesaliencat View Post
Even as a non-Christian female who likes to have freedom to do whatever I want with my body, there are some things that I absolutely would not do, and having a wasp nest put up there is one of those things (those who do such a thing are literally asking for a Darwin Award). (for those who don't know, the Darwin Awards are handed out to those who have done something stupid and paid for it with their lives).
But is it "your" body?
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Jesus Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 07-18-2017, 05:20 PM

Hmmmm I just realized, I still have not seen my wife, Mrs. Hutchins. I am beginning to wonder if perhaps I should send someone out to look for her. I'd do it but I am getting ready for a Salmon Fishing trip with some of the Church Elders.
Maybe I should call the Life Insurance company about her policy I took out as a Easter Gift to show God how much I care.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Smile Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 07-26-2017, 12:31 PM

I went out with some of the guys this past weekend four wheeling and mud bogging. While having one heck of a great time (Jack Daniels Green label, steaks as thick as a Christian mans arm) we did keep an eye out for my wife, Mrs. Hutchins though truth be told, it has been so long since I've seen her, a old Pine Tree at a distance had the same look as my wife's skin. I managed to get stuck twice in the bog and we got Bobby-Roy out snipe hunting. I told him I'd pay him $5 for every snipe he got and prepaid him $20 with the understanding not to come back unless he caught at least four of the creatures. The rest of us sat around the camp, swapping stories about Jesus and listening to Bobby-Roy trying to scare up some nocturnal snipes.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 08-17-2017, 06:16 PM

Well, Bobby-Roy did not come back for two whole days! What a hoot and a half! The boys and I had a great weekend, my son (I think it was Ralph) tore up the drive shaft on his F350 something fierce as a rope got wrapped around the duallies and jammed things up.

As a side note, we still have not seen my wife, Mrs. Hutchins. I've left a pie plate outside, hoping she will notice it empty and come back inside. My nieces, Mandi and Sandi have been tending to my needs, God Bless them. Honestly, my wife, Mrs. Hutchins does not show up soon, I am going to report her to the police!


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Cool Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 09-07-2017, 07:26 PM

What a weekend at the Bellagio! The penthouse suite of Pastor Ezekiel was packed with street lads and runaway girls the good Pastor had in praying for salvation. The fevered delivery produced by Pastor Ezekiel was a sight to behold. Soul after worthless soul, the Godly Pastor went down upon and cleared the demons from their rectums. The stench of the devil filled the rooms. Praise be the Lord, probably 100 lost youths were Saved®.

On a side note, no one has seen my exwife, Mrs. Hutchins. During a break from his Soul Saving Sessions™, Pastor Ezekiel signed a affidavit of annulment due to abandonment of my exwife and her duties. So it seems I'll have to expel the children from my house seeing they are all motherless. I will also have to begin the arduous task of finding a wife to bear Soldiers for the Christian© war. It all tires me so.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter! - 09-16-2017, 01:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
No doubt Hillary Clinton started this fad so she can blame the wasps in her cooter for losing the elections instead of admitting she was a terrible candidate.
I'll bet Ms Clinton put the hornets in her vajayjay as a quick-me-up beauty routine because Bill won't give her the money for vaginalplasty! This feeble attempt to fool anyone is of course all in vain.
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