| Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 164
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Georgia
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Re: I need help. -
07-26-2007, 05:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tammy
Honey, I've been all over you since I got here. I'm beginning to think you're all lunar and no seed. Sure I've got a few miles, and I'm not well. But it's not like I have AIDS or something; you don't get sick having sex with a cancer patient.
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I've heard most cancer comes from sin.
And the tumors are God's punishment for sexual sin.
It helps the fornicator stop fornicating and prevents potential fornicators from fornicating with the former fornicator.
You know, since no one really wants to be around people with bulbous protrusions from their body.
I mean, I dont know. It's just what I've heard.
Premarital sex is only a roadblock to holiness. You don't need to touch another person's body–or your own–to have a rockin' good time!
Abstinence: it's not easy but neither are you!
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Wretched Unsaved Goth
Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
Forum Member
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Posts: 844
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ...
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Re: I need help. -
07-27-2007, 03:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by More Saved Than Thou
If you love the rest of that stuff, then you obviously hate Jesus. The Bible says repeatedly that God is a jealous God.
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Do you seriously want to devote your life to a jealous insecure God?
A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
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Wretched Unsaved Goth
Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
Forum Member
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Posts: 844
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ...
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Re: I need help. -
07-27-2007, 03:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Since the vast majority of things you listed are sins, yes, you do. I'd say you should beg Jesus to take over your life right now and turn you into a real man before your owner gets you put down.
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How is love a sin? I would like to know that.
A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
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Wretched Unsaved Goth
Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
Forum Member
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Posts: 844
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ...
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Re: I need help. -
07-27-2007, 03:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by More Saved Than Thou
Then I think you need to stop mocking Him. Almighty God temporarily sacrificed Himself to Himself so that you could avoid the hell that He had prepared. If you truly loved Jesus, you would realize just how seriously to take that.
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Woah woah woah, he prepared a Hell? What kind of love is that? That's like blackmail.
A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
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Wretched Unsaved Goth
Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
Forum Member
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Posts: 844
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ...
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Re: I need help. -
07-27-2007, 03:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunar_seed
But, I need it.
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Go find yourself a girlfriend OR boyfriend if you want it.
A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP
One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: I need help. -
07-27-2007, 04:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ixi
Go find yourself a girlfriend OR boyfriend if you want it.
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Oh well, if he's got your permission, I guess that's okay. After all, you created the universe in six days and temporarily sacrificed your only begotten son.
No, wait, that was GOD! Maybe if the day ever comes where you have final say over who goes to Heaven and who goes to Hell, your permission might mean something, but for now it's nothing more than the garbled mutterings of a doped-up witch.
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Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: I need help. -
07-27-2007, 11:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ixi
Do you seriously want to devote your life to a jealous insecure God?
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Well, I don't want to get Him angry at me, that's for sure!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ixi
How is love a sin? I would like to know that.
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James 4:4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
John 12:25 He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.
If you love life, GOD will kill you. Simple as that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ixi
Woah woah woah, he prepared a Hell? What kind of love is that? That's like blackmail.
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Special love, is what it is. Very special love. And your posts are a lot like a criminal waste of Jesus' bandwidth.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Anvil of the Antipodes
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,269
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: policing mockery of the free internets
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Re: I need help. -
07-27-2007, 01:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ixi
Go find yourself a girlfriend OR boyfriend if you want it.
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Ixi- your words are straight from Satan. Advocating the unnatural, assures the wrath of our Lord.
And there were also sodomites in the land: and they did according to all the abominations of the nations which the LORD cast out before the children of Israel.
1 Kings 14:23-25
The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine." Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
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Posts: 293
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: My parents basement
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Re: I need help. -
07-28-2007, 12:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ixi
Go find yourself a girlfriend OR boyfriend if you want it.
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Yea, but it's hard. Thoses posts about having sex were all jokes anyway.
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International JOO and fellow-travelling Communiss.
Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
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Posts: 831
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Dis.
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Re: I need help. -
07-28-2007, 01:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunar_seed
Yea, but it's hard.
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That's half the fun.
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Honorary White Woman.
True Christian™
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Posts: 522
Join Date: Mar 2007
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Re: I need help. -
07-28-2007, 01:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joo
That's half the fun.
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I's gonna hafta axe y'all to take y'all homer innuendo elsewhere. Yo depraveded comments does not be fit fo' a True Christian ™ board. Remember, JESUS Himself be readin' these boards, and I wouldn't be provokedin' His wrath if I was y'all.
"He went on CNN and he laughed at us, and he said, 'They'll never get me because Allah will protect me. Allah will protect me.' Well, you know what? I knew that my God was bigger than his. I knew that my God was a real God and his was an idol." - Lt. General William G. Boykin
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International JOO and fellow-travelling Communiss.
Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
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Posts: 831
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Dis.
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Re: I need help. -
07-28-2007, 02:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sista Lateefah
I's gonna hafta axe y'all to take y'all homer innuendo elsewhere. Yo depraveded comments does not be fit fo' a True Christian™ board. Remember, JESUS Himself be readin' these boards, and I wouldn't be provokedin' His wrath if I was y'all.
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I think Jesus is a big enough boy to handle a comment like that. Especially considering it wasn't a homer innuendo, it was a straight and clear statement, but I guess you didn't quite get it.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: I need help. -
07-28-2007, 02:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joo
I think Jesus is a big enough boy to handle a comment like that. Especially considering it wasn't a homer innuendo, it was a straight and clear statement, but I guess you didn't quite get it.
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Don't talk back boy! You were talking about sodomy! Even a female ex-nigress could see that! Get thee HENCE! 
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
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Posts: 293
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: My parents basement
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Re: I need help. -
07-28-2007, 02:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joo
That's half the fun.
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Yea, I guess so. And when you fall in love with that person you met is even more fun.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: I need help. -
07-28-2007, 02:31 PM
What is that in Loser seed's avatar? Is that him with his head up his.......? 
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,840
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
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Re: I need help. -
07-29-2007, 01:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
What is that in Loser seed's avatar? Is that him with his head up his ....... ? |
You know what? That avatar is the worst ever! Do we have to look at that thing? 
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: I need help. -
07-29-2007, 01:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by minister noddy
You know what? That avatar is the worst ever! Do we have to look at that thing? |
It's considerably more pleasant than reading his posts.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,840
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
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Re: I need help. -
07-29-2007, 01:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
It's considerably more pleasant than reading his posts.
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We are in 100% agreement on that one! 
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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International JOO and fellow-travelling Communiss.
Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
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Posts: 831
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Dis.
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Re: I need help. -
07-29-2007, 06:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
It's considerably more pleasant than reading his posts.
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You find watching a naked man shove his head up his anus more pleasant than reading some text? Sounds kinda gay to me...but whatever floats your boat.
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