Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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moral dilemma -
06-27-2007, 04:46 AM
I can think of no higher source than Landover Baptist (that may actually answer my question) to give me guidance regarding my current moral dilemma. Here it goes:
Luke 14:26
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
Leviticus 26:7
And ye shall chase your enemies, and they shall fall before you by the sword
After much reflection, last night the baby Jesus spoke to me in a dream. He repeated the above verses, and told me it should be clear that I must hate my parents as my enemies, that i must kill my enemies, therefore........He stopped speaking. Being the devout Christian that I am, I of course read no book other than His Holy Word, so I had no difficulty shoving these parts of scripture back into the sweet baby Jesus' face;
Leviticus 19:3 Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father, and keep my sabbaths: I am the LORD thy God.
and, of course, one of His Top Ten list;
Exodus 20:13 Thou shall not kill.
He said the answer was simple, command someone else to do it, that's what his Father used to do all the time. That's one smart baby, let me tell you.
Anyway, can you suggest someone weak willed enough to bow to my commands, in order to help this Christian become a true disciple as Jesus said?
I asked my sister to do it for me. We haven't gotten along well since we were children. My father used to molest her, and we shared a room. She pled with me to help her, but as always, the bible was there for me. In addition to telling her that she must respect her father as commanded in Exodus as quoted above, I also reminded her of Matthew 5:39
But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. I also reminded her about Noah and his daughters, but I guess her ears were filled with Satan's wax.
She ended up not turning the other cheek, not following one of His Big Ten, and turned him in to the police. She is truly evil. He nearly lost his entire congregation due to the evil left wing satan worshipping press, and the god forsaken activist judges. That's why I asked her to help me with my "disciple" problem. If anyone would help me, I thought her being that evil, and hating my father and all, she wouldn't have a problem. I told her I would pay for the ammo, or whatever, but NOOOOOOO, now she's found Jesus and quotes to me the "thou shall not kill" junk. What a hypocrite, picking and choosing which of the Commandments to follow. That confirmed to me that she is indeed evil, as she was hampering my path to eternal bliss, wishing me to join her eternal gnashing of teeth and wailing. I'm going to be sitting next to the baby Jesus, watching the billions of sinners suffering in eternal damnation if I have anything to say about it. Jesus and I can laugh our asses off together then.
You see my dilemma. Baby Jesus again went silent when I asked him who to ask to do this for me. (Between the silence and the parables thing, I sure hope that over eternity it won't get just a tad bit irritating.) Can you help a brother out?
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Re: moral dilemma -
06-28-2007, 02:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dick Brain
I can think of no higher source than Landover Baptist (that may actually answer my question) to give me guidance regarding my current moral dilemma. Here it goes:
Luke 14:26
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
Leviticus 26:7
And ye shall chase your enemies, and they shall fall before you by the sword
After much reflection, last night the baby Jesus spoke to me in a dream. He repeated the above verses, and told me it should be clear that I must hate my parents as my enemies, that i must kill my enemies, therefore........He stopped speaking. Being the devout Christian that I am, I of course read no book other than His Holy Word, so I had no difficulty shoving these parts of scripture back into the sweet baby Jesus' face;
Leviticus 19:3 Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father, and keep my sabbaths: I am the LORD thy God.
and, of course, one of His Top Ten list;
Exodus 20:13 Thou shall not kill.
He said the answer was simple, command someone else to do it, that's what his Father used to do all the time. That's one smart baby, let me tell you.
Anyway, can you suggest someone weak willed enough to bow to my commands, in order to help this Christian become a true disciple as Jesus said?
I asked my sister to do it for me. We haven't gotten along well since we were children. My father used to molest her, and we shared a room. She pled with me to help her, but as always, the bible was there for me. In addition to telling her that she must respect her father as commanded in Exodus as quoted above, I also reminded her of Matthew 5:39
But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. I also reminded her about Noah and his daughters, but I guess her ears were filled with Satan's wax.
She ended up not turning the other cheek, not following one of His Big Ten, and turned him in to the police. She is truly evil. He nearly lost his entire congregation due to the evil left wing satan worshipping press, and the god forsaken activist judges. That's why I asked her to help me with my "disciple" problem. If anyone would help me, I thought her being that evil, and hating my father and all, she wouldn't have a problem. I told her I would pay for the ammo, or whatever, but NOOOOOOO, now she's found Jesus and quotes to me the "thou shall not kill" junk. What a hypocrite, picking and choosing which of the Commandments to follow. That confirmed to me that she is indeed evil, as she was hampering my path to eternal bliss, wishing me to join her eternal gnashing of teeth and wailing. I'm going to be sitting next to the baby Jesus, watching the billions of sinners suffering in eternal damnation if I have anything to say about it. Jesus and I can laugh our asses off together then.
You see my dilemma. Baby Jesus again went silent when I asked him who to ask to do this for me. (Between the silence and the parables thing, I sure hope that over eternity it won't get just a tad bit irritating.) Can you help a brother out?
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I suggest you introduce yourself in our introduction forum dick. That way we can be a bit more sure that you aren't merely here to mock us.
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Re: moral dilemma -
06-28-2007, 07:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.
I suggest you introduce yourself in our introduction forum dick. That way we can be a bit more sure that you aren't merely here to mock us.
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So that they can then in turn, mock you.
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Re: moral dilemma -
06-28-2007, 03:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joo
So that they can then in turn, mock you.
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Joo,
We only defend ourselves when we are attacked. Treat us with some respect by acknowledging our opinions are from God Himself, therefore utterly correct and there will be no problems.
Is this too much to ask?
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Re: moral dilemma -
06-28-2007, 03:46 PM
Considering you're asking him to agree with people who supposedly speak the word of a real character who is only known to exist in a book, yeah, I'd say that's a bit of a stretch.
Hai guiz wuts goin on in dis internet?
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Re: moral dilemma -
06-28-2007, 04:38 PM
Quote:
I can think of no higher source than Landover Baptist (that may actually answer my question) to give me guidance regarding my current moral dilemma
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1. You forget another factor: God commands the we obey the law, even of secular rulers. That means no hiring hitmen (or in your case, hit women). Don't break the law. Yes, I know that this is debated a lot since technically criminal actions are not illegal, only getting caught for them is.
2. It is an unofficial policy of Landover Baptist that we use our real names on the internet.
3. I have some exellent advice that will solve all of your problems with ease, but according to the church database you have yet to donate a single penny....
Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 06-28-2007 at 04:39 PM.
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Re: moral dilemma -
06-28-2007, 07:59 PM
Quote:
clear that I must hate my parents as my enemies, that i must kill my enemies, therefore
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Mr Richard, as Mr Jeb says above --- you must NOT break the law --- no matter what you beleve the Baby Jesus (or the adult Jesus, or the Bible for that matter) is telling you ---
Tell us more about yourself, I'm looking forward to reading your post in the intro forum soon, as well as accepting Christ ---
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Re: moral dilemma -
06-28-2007, 10:26 PM
Matthew 5:11
Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
OK, I must admit that another reason, besides the Holy Word of God and of sweet baby Jesus, that I hate my father is because of the name he gave me. It was not very Christ-like to say evil against me falsly now, was it? I am saddened, to say the least. I've had to put up with ridicule for this for years, and you just heap it on? Romans 12:10
Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another
So basically,you assumed that I was mocking you by giving myself a name you didn't like, and then asking your interpretation of His Word and for assistance in carrying out works in His name?
Leviticus 19:15
Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment: thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honor the person of the mighty: but in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.
Or, if you prefer;
Matthew 7:1
Judge not, that ye be not judged.
You have violated Leviticus by not judging me in righteousness.
Or you have gone against the word of The Conquering Lion by judging me.
I can't really decide which one of these is supposed to be followed as the law, but you violated two laws which are in direct opposition with each other. I didn't even know that hypocrisy of this level was grammatically possible, so I guess that I did learn something from this site. Look again at my original post, then ask yourself, was I attacking, or mocking, or showing a great deal of respect to go along with a great deal of knowledge regarding the subject matter? Are your perceptions being tainted, perhaps by evil? You see mockery where there is none, attacks when there are none, some call it paranoia, I call it demon posession.
Proverbs 14:12
There is a way that seems right to a man,
but in the end it leads to death.
Am I really to follow the laws of man, when I know what God's law says?
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Re: moral dilemma -
06-28-2007, 10:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Cranium
Am I really to follow the laws of man, when I know what God's law says?
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Dick,
Try and wrapping your head around the concept we have to obey secular law too. Beyond the Bible commands it in Romans God is a the source of all law so if you love Him, you love the law.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Re: moral dilemma -
06-29-2007, 01:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Treat us with some respect
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Earn it.
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Re: moral dilemma -
06-29-2007, 01:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joo
Earn it.
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Once again, I need to remind you that this is GOD's forum, not yours. You are nothing but a wad of unwelcome, unsaved scum to God and to us. It is YOU who need to earn OUR respect, and so far you are moving rapidly in the opposite direction. We True Christians have the envy and respect of the entire world.
If you don't like it here, then go back to your ACLU-sponsored queer tree-huggers forum. Don't let the forum door hitcha where the good Lord splitcha on your way out.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: moral dilemma -
06-29-2007, 02:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
We True Christians™ have the envy and respect of the entire world.
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I knew it! I saw you on the International Comedy Festival last year. I sent my vote for you, but apparently it didn't get through.
Hai guiz wuts goin on in dis internet?
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Re: moral dilemma -
06-29-2007, 05:10 AM
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Re: moral dilemma -
06-30-2007, 03:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Once again, I need to remind you that this is GOD's forum, not yours. You are nothing but a wad of unwelcome, unsaved scum to God and to us. It is YOU who need to earn OUR respect, and so far you are moving rapidly in the opposite direction. We True Christians™ have the envy and respect of the entire world.
If you don't like it here, then go back to your ACLU-sponsored queer tree-huggers forum. Don't let the forum door hitcha where the good Lord splitcha on your way out.
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Once again? You've never had to remind me of that before. I know its not my forum, and I'm quite happy with that fact since I'd probably have to much fun laughing to be able to maintain it. Not to mention, I don't ever remember asking for your respect, since I never expected to get it. After all, if I'm just a wad of unwelcome unsaved scum I doubt a lack of respect from you will do much more to me.
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Re: moral dilemma -
07-01-2007, 04:37 PM
I don't know what Pastor E is talking about, he says secular law trumps Gods law, so I don't see what his problem with the ACLU, gays, or tree huggers could possibly be. He supports gay marriage and abortion, then claims that this is God's forum? He needs to be shown the evil of his ways, or we get to smell his flesh burning for eternity along with all the other hypocrites, aborted fetuses, and Catholics.
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Re: moral dilemma -
07-01-2007, 05:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Cranium
I don't know what Pastor E is talking about, he says secular law trumps Gods law, so I don't see what his problem with the ACLU, gays, or tree huggers could possibly be. He supports gay marriage and abortion, then claims that this is God's forum? He needs to be shown the evil of his ways, or we get to smell his flesh burning for eternity along with all the other hypocrites, aborted fetuses, and Catholics.
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*Waits for Zeke to rebuke you and go on some long tirade about how much of a liar you are...*
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Re: moral dilemma -
07-02-2007, 12:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Cranium
I don't know what Pastor E is talking about, he says secular law trumps Gods law, so I don't see what his problem with the ACLU, gays, or tree huggers could possibly be. He supports gay marriage and abortion, then claims that this is God's forum? He needs to be shown the evil of his ways, or we get to smell his flesh burning for eternity along with all the other hypocrites, aborted fetuses, and Catholics.
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I would ban you for spewing such filthy and obvious lies, but I tend to believe that you are either a mental case or deliberately obtuse. The fact that God demands that all True Christians follow secular law does not mean that we are required to support abominations such as the ACLU, etc. Are you on the drugs?
Please show me exactly where I stated that I "supported gay marriage and abortion".
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: moral dilemma -
07-02-2007, 02:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
I would ban you for spewing such filthy and obvious lies, but I tend to believe that you are either a mental case or deliberately obtuse. The fact that God demands that all True Christians follow secular law does not mean that we are required to support abominations such as the ACLU, etc. Are you on the drugs?
Please show me exactly where I stated that I "supported gay marriage and abortion".
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Oh! I was a bit off, it was pretty short this time...
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: moral dilemma -
07-02-2007, 07:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joo
Oh! I was a bit off, it was pretty short this time...
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Who are you addressing here? My post was to Mr. Dick Head.....
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: moral dilemma -
07-02-2007, 07:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Who are you addressing here? My post was to Mr. Dick Head.....
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I was just providing social commentary. Since before you're rebuttal I spoke about how I was waiting for you to come back with a long explanation as to why he's going to hell, but you actually did it in a relatively short one.
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