[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: How To Quit Peeing and Pooping In 7 Easy Steps!

Could somebody please clean up the terrible mess my keyboard has made above in the name of Jesus? Also add however between Pharmakeia and I. Praise the lord.

Dear Foreign Heathen;

"Somebody" doesn't work here. Instead, please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[WWJDnow]

Re: How To Quit Peeing and Pooping In 7 Easy Steps!

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum

Which reminds me, a good spiritual cleansing with a Landover Baptist Church-approved demenem would make a great addition to anyone's no pooping regimen.

[Wide-Open]

Re: How To Quit Peeing and Pooping In 7 Easy Steps!

Did everyone mark down their quit date, so we can celebrate your anuversary? I'd go through the thread myself, but I suffer some light cramps - no doubt my body adjusting to the new healthier life style.

[lukasekman]

Re: How To Quit Peeing and Pooping In 7 Easy Steps!

Good guide, praise Jesus!
Regardless if you're a beautiful fashion blogger using cosmetics tested on animals, or if you preach the word of Jesus, peeing and pooping is disgusting and distracts you from the purpose.

In addition, the Christian Commission on Human Rights (CCHR) have a list of dangers associated with pooping:
☣ Every time you poop, you have a 1% risk of fainting within two minutes, called defecation syncope.
☣ Several diseases are transmitted through the fecal-oral route. If people didn't poop, there would be no cases of polio and cholera, and no demand for vaccines.
☣ Poop residues in anus are disgusting and breeding grounds for demonic pathogens.
☣ Adam Lanza did poop prior to the shooting.
☣ Worst of all: you can poop out your intestines (prolapse).

And thou shalt have great sickness by disease of thy bowels, until thy bowels fall out by reason of the sickness day by day.
2 Chronicles 21:15

And finally, if God really wanted us to poop, how come babies require one year or more before they stop defecate their pants?