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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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Default HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 11:44 AM
I lack word for this vilest of jokes.

http://www.aintitcool.com/images2006/underdogposter.jpg

May THE LORD forgive them, but preferably throw them straight to hell!
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 12:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by see_the_light View Post
I lack word for this vilest of jokes.

http://www.aintitcool.com/images2006/underdogposter.jpg

May THE LORD forgive them, but preferably throw them straight to hell!
Friend, that is just all too typical of the jew-controlled Hellywood commies. They will stop at nothing in their quest to destroy Christianity and contribute to the decay of American morality. The dog is probably a queer who demands special rights.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 12:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Friend, that is just all too typical of the jew-controlled Hellywood commies. They will stop at nothing in their quest to destroy Christianity and contribute to the decay of American morality. The dog is probably a queer who demands special rights.

Is it that Afro-mative Action thing for min-error-ities like acting quotas for sodomite brown dogs ?

PRAY TO JESUS!
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 04:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by see_the_light View Post
I lack word for this vilest of jokes.

http://www.aintitcool.com/images2006/underdogposter.jpg

May THE LORD forgive them, but preferably throw them straight to hell!
A good play on words if I do say so myself. And a nicely photoshopped picture.

Now that, that don't kill me can only make me stronger.
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 05:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Dameon_ACLUtard View Post
A good play on words if I do say so myself. And a nicely photoshopped picture.

A good play on words?

How basic, retarded and offensive must a joke be for it to please you?


REPENT AND PRAY TO JESUS!
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 05:47 PM
Basic- Not a necessity
Retarded- Again not necessary
Offensive- Very

The more offensive the better.


Three couples--an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple--wanted to join a Baptist church. The pastor says, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor goes up to the elderly couple and asks, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The old man replies, "No problem at all, Pastor."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.
The pastor goes to the middle-aged couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the pastor.
The pastor then goes to the newlywed couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"
"Well Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied.
"What Happened?" inquired the pastor.
"My wife was reaching for a light bulb on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I couldn't help myself and we had sex right there on the floor."
The pastor said, "Well, then you're not welcome in the Baptist church." "That's OK," said the young man, "We're not welcome at the supermarket anymore either."

Now that, that don't kill me can only make me stronger.
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 05:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dameon_ACLUtard View Post
Basic- Not a necessity
Retarded- Again not necessary
Offensive- Very

The more offensive the better.


Three couples--an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple--wanted to join a Baptist church. The pastor says, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor goes up to the elderly couple and asks, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The old man replies, "No problem at all, Pastor."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.
The pastor goes to the middle-aged couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the pastor.
The pastor then goes to the newlywed couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"
"Well Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied.
"What Happened?" inquired the pastor.
"My wife was reaching for a light bulb on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I couldn't help myself and we had sex right there on the floor."
The pastor said, "Well, then you're not welcome in the Baptist church." "That's OK," said the young man, "We're not welcome at the supermarket anymore either."
STOP THOSE LEWD IMPERTINENT JOKES!

HEATHEN!
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 06:00 PM
What can I say it made me laugh

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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 06:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Dameon_ACLUtard View Post
What can I say it made me laugh
While the content was certainly a bit risque for this, God's Favorite Forum, I and others have noted that you were able to express your "humor" without the use of vulgarities.

A step in the right direction.
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 06:13 PM
*shrugs* We all make mistakes.

Now that, that don't kill me can only make me stronger.
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 06:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Dameon_ACLUtard View Post
*shrugs* We all make mistakes.
But you DO seem to be accepting yours and beneath an harsh surface there seem to enough good.

It takes courage to accept your mistakes.

It's the first step.

I think JESUS is smilling at you!

PRAISE JESUS!
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 06:27 PM
I don't want to be smiled at by someone who doesn't exist.

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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 06:48 PM
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I don't want to be smiled at by someone who doesn't exist.
Neither would I, but JESUS DOES EXIST AND HE IS OUR SAVIOUR!
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 06:49 PM
He's your saviour.

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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 06:50 PM
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I don't want to be smiled at by someone who doesn't exist.
Yet you picked an anagram of 'Dracula' for a username. You are a very confused person.

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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 06:53 PM
Vlad Dracul existed, Alucard just sounds so much cooler than Lucard. Don't ya think?

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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 07:50 PM
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Vlad Dracul existed, Alucard just sounds so much cooler than Lucard. Don't ya think?
Good man Tepes would have put you on a sharp pole for the blasphemous attitude you're displaying..
As he rightly should.

He was a Christian and not a heathen scumbag like yourself.
Stop defiling his memory.

If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 07:55 PM
He was Catholic for crying out loud. I thought you didn't like Catholics. You do know Romanians are gypsies and gypsies are Catholic right? as far as me being a heathen goes, so what? I'd be glad to give Tepes a visit and let him have a little fun, why we might both get a rise out of it.

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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 08:01 PM
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He was Catholic for crying out loud. I thought you didn't like Catholics. You do know Romanians are gypsies and gypsies are Catholic right? as far as me being a heathen goes, so what? I'd be glad to give Tepes a visit and let him have a little fun, why we might both get a rise out of it.
If you mean that you will get a 6 foot rise into the air on top of a pole then yes, you are correct, you would indeed get a rise.

And Vlad was no damned gypsy, nor a cathylick, he was a white and True Christian man.
Just because the cathylick church was powerful back then, doesn't mean everyone was cathylicks..
But with you being a tard I don't expect you to know that, infact, I don't expect you to know or understand anything..

If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Dameon_ACLUtard is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 10:35 PM
You don't understand do you? Back then Europe was a Catholic continent. Everywhere in Europe was ruled by Catholics. There were no prodistants, save the odd few, also there were satanists but then they've always existed in some form.

And by a rise I meant he would enjoy it and, you know why let someone beat you? You may aswell enjoy it too.

Now that, that don't kill me can only make me stronger.
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