[Redeemed Papist]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Corkage in this instance, what I mean is plugging his demon infested rectum. I apologise for not being clearer.

Those pervs would abominate even an act initially motivated by prevention. Far better to submit to a pastor for corrective beating while praying.

[His limp noodle]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

I was low on toilet paper, so I didn't use the normal safety barrier of half a roll. A roll per session is my general rule, but I didn't have a full roll left.
Well, it happened. My finger went through the paper and I touched myself down there, actually it was more than just a touch. I think my finger went in a little.
Does this make me a homosexual?

Your finger went up your ass? and how does that make you homosexual?
I don't see the connection between the too.

[Rev. Dr. Davidson]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Your finger went up your ass? and how does that make you homosexual?
I don't see the connection between the too.

You don't see the connection? You've obviously not read the KJV 1611 bible.

At any rate, without pastoral intervention, it could have been a hot dog or hamster in his rectum. From there a gay tongue, to full blown sodomy. It's a slippery slobe when one delves into the recesses of sodomy. I'll bet that in in-depth investigation by one of our Godly pastors would have revealed a demon had temporarily taken up residence - having transferred to poor brother Mayfield from a public toilet. Public toilets, as True Christians ™ know, can carry the homersexual virus for months after a liberal sat there.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

You don't see the connection? You've obviously not read the KJV 1611 bible.

At any rate, without pastoral intervention, it could have been a hot dog or hamster in his rectum. From there a gay tongue, to full blown sodomy. It's a slippery slobe when one delves into the recesses of sodomy. I'll bet that in in-depth investigation by one of our Godly pastors would have revealed a demon had temporarily taken up residence - having transferred to poor brother Mayfield from a public toilet. Public toilets, as True Christians ™ know, can carry the homersexual virus for months after a liberal sat there.

You can never take too many precautions against having another man's member enter your rectum.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

You can never take too many precautions against having another man's member enter your rectum.

Truer words have never been spoken, Brother.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Your finger went up your ass? and how does that make you homosexual?
I don't see the connection between the two.

This is why people like you go to Hell.

[ForgivenSin]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

I'm very afraid now. I always clean my buttock when I shower. It involves me spreading my buttock cheeks and cleaning thoroughly, I fear I've committed thousands of homosexual acts since my childhood. This is really awful, please help.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

I'm very afraid now. I always clean my buttock when I shower. It involves me spreading my buttock cheeks and cleaning thoroughly, I fear I've committed thousands of homosexual acts since my childhood. This is really awful, please help.

And so you should be afraid. You may have even caught the AIDS. Avoid known homers and get on your knees in front of your Pastor and prepare to receive Jesus inside you before it's too late!

[Californian]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

I would be seriously concerned that your finger may have caught the AIDS. While I do not believe that it would be able to spread to a True Christian body, have you had your finger tested?

[s. warnin]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Ok, so according to you I do not know myself... because since you say I am actually gay... I must be gay... you also use a book that I do not workshop as evidence.... wow this book must know me better than I do myself or something...

and yes I do hang out with gays and lesbians because I find them good as people, and I do not want them to change because a book says so.... and do you know something neither will I...

wow this book must know me better than I do myself or something...


That's the first thing you've said that makes any sense. Psalm 139:1-4

1 O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.
2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising,
Thou understandest my thought afar off.
3 Thou compassest my path and my lying down,
And art acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word in my tongue,
But, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.

[PicklesThatOnion]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

I seem to have found myself in a similar situation. I was cleaning my bum with a scrubbing brush in the shower, when all of a sudden the brush slipped out of my hand, due to the soapyness, and a full two fingers managed to penetrate my anus, in a forceful fashion.
In shock, I realized what had just happened, and decided the best course of action would be to remain completely still with the two fingers in place, because if I remove them it will stimulate my rectum, and that would instantly make me a homosexual, assuming I am not already.

Please help me, I cannot leave the house to buy any gardening tools to remove the tainted fingers from my hand. And despite praying to God, he has not intervened with my situation. I fear he is in pure disgust of me, and is planning to banish me to the fiery pits of hell.

Does anyone have advise for me, or am I too far gone?

[s. warnin]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Please help me, I cannot leave the house to buy any gardening tools to remove the tainted fingers from my hand. And despite praying to God, he has not intervened with my situation

To the contrary, God has already intervened on your behalf. Matthew 5:29-30:

29And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

30And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

Don't bother arguing semantics...whether it's literally your right or left hand is not the point. The point is that you said that despite prayer, God has not intervened on your behalf; however, God has foreseen your stupidity and provided you with an answer. Don't say that God hasn't done anything for you..He has done His part. The rest is up to you. And by the way you don't need a gardening tool to do the job. A butter knife will do just fine.

[vented]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

I seem to have found myself in a similar situation. I was cleaning my bum with a scrubbing brush in the shower, when all of a sudden the brush slipped out of my hand, due to the soapyness, and a full two fingers managed to penetrate my anus, in a forceful fashion.
In shock, I realized what had just happened, and decided the best course of action would be to remain completely still with the two fingers in place, because if I remove them it will stimulate my rectum, and that would instantly make me a homosexual, assuming I am not already.

Please help me, I cannot leave the house to buy any gardening tools to remove the tainted fingers from my hand. And despite praying to God, he has not intervened with my situation. I fear he is in pure disgust of me, and is planning to banish me to the fiery pits of hell.

Does anyone have advise for me, or am I too far gone?

Pull out quick and get it over with. It's the penetration that provides the pleasure not the pulling out.

[PicklesThatOnion]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Come to think of it, i actually enjoy the feeling a little bit, not in a gay way or nothin.

[Deaner]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Come to think of it, i actually enjoy the feeling a little bit, not in a gay way or nothin.

You got fingers in your ass, you're enjoying it; but it's not gay? You are one giant sicko friend. Christ spits in your face.