Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 51
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Nashville, Tn
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-10-2011, 05:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria
If you're in San Francisco, it's incredibly easy to spot a homosexual. Look around you and everyone you see is a sodomite.
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So now you call my Brother-in-law a homosexual because he lives there? Maybe you live there too, how else would you know the demographics so well? Please tell me sister, Thanks in advance.
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-10-2011, 06:14 AM
Homosexuals can also be recognized through their whining. Real men don't whine.
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Recovering Bastard Head of Landover Glee Club
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,363
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Opening doors for little old ladies, helping the blind to see.
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-10-2011, 06:26 AM
Sister, is there an "whining exemption" for those accursed by THE LORD?
I don't want to be a homosexual! I'll slice my neck open with a Skilsaw if I am, that's too much.
Will I go straight to Heaven if I slice my neck open with a Skilsaw before the faggotry consumes me?
Please, let me know, I'm just sick worrying about it. Skilsaw?
The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men.~Joel 1:12
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 4
Join Date: Mar 2011
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-10-2011, 12:24 PM
If a man gives a woman flowers he is concidered homosexual? If he cooks in the kitchen he is concidered homosexual? This doesn't seem right to me. Ofcourse, like all of you I am against homosexuality. But I don't believe that you can 'sniff out' a homosexual just by looking at these 'common traits'. Especially the part about giving women flowers. I like flowers
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-10-2011, 12:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaykate92
If a man gives a woman flowers he is concidered homosexual?
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Yes.
Quote:
If he cooks in the kitchen he is concidered homosexual?
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Yes!
Quote:
This doesn't seem right to me. Ofcourse, like all of you I am against homosexuality. But I don't believe that you can 'sniff out' a homosexual just by looking at these 'common traits'. Especially the part about giving women flowers. I like flowers
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If you like flowers you are either a woman or a gay. Also it is never a good idea to give a woman gifts. It will just make them greedy and distract them from their duties.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-10-2011, 04:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by renaldude
So now you call my Brother-in-law a homosexual because he lives there? Maybe you live there too, how else would you know the demographics so well? Please tell me sister, Thanks in advance.
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I've lived in San Fransisco. However I am still NOT gay thanks to the Power of the Lord. That city was nothing but a never ending orgy of gay sex on the streets. Just unbelievable the amount of gay sex I saw there.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-10-2011, 05:59 PM
What's this now with this "renaldude" - ? Now there are homosexual preversions which are fixated around... kidneys?
As if those Portnoy joos aren't bad enough with... livers
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-11-2011, 04:31 PM
Back on subject (thanks a lot for derailing an important subject, "renaldude")...
Watches Japanimation
Has a cat instead of a dog
Has a small dog instead of a big dog
Eats fancy foreign foods like caviar, tofu, escargot, or spaghetti
Wears spandex
Rides a scooter
Wears a non-football related helmet (warning: could also signify a retarded, watch for drool to distinguish between the two)
Has been to an opera
Has been to the ballet
Enjoys any Clint Eastwood movie that doesn't also have guns or orangutans
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-11-2011, 05:44 PM
- Can distinguish among shades of a color other than simply "light" and "dark"
- Shaves any part of his body that is covered when he wears a business suit
- Goes to art galleries (the following don't count: Thomas Kinkade galleries, the Freehold Gallery of Christian Art, the art sales at the Landover Baptist University for the Saved art department)
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-11-2011, 07:28 PM
- Gets closer to any man by more than an arms length
- Has buckets seats in a car or (Yikes!) his truck
- Listens to any music other than Appalachian Gospel or good country
- Does not toss his empties into the bed of his truck
- Has a tail gate on his truck
- Has a wife with a first name other than 'Woman'
- Uses a 'push mower' and not a tractor to mow his lawn
- Refuses to eat BBQ chicken wings
- Does not play fantasy Football
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Last edited by James Hutchins; 03-11-2011 at 08:39 PM.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-11-2011, 08:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
- Refuses to eat BBQ chicken wings
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God! NO!!!
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WARNING: Canuckistani feminazi! Approach with caution!
Forum Member
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Posts: 174
Join Date: Oct 2008
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-11-2011, 08:55 PM
- They have a sexual attraction towards the same sex.
- They have a romantic attraction towards the same sex.
There. That should about cover it.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-11-2011, 09:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto
- They have a sexual attraction towards the same sex.
- They have a romantic attraction towards the same sex.
There. That should about cover it.
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Silence you thespain she-demon
- Anyone who thinks the disabled and mentally shouldn't be sent to Siberia like Hitler did is a homosexual.
- Anyone who wants to waste money on volcano and tsunami monitoring is a homosexual (FACT: no one in the history of Iowa as died from a tsunami in any coastal region of Iowa)
- Anyone who isn't concerned about how many Muslims terrorists are in this country pretending to be law abiding citizens working productive jobs is a homosexual.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,017
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Wherever Jesus takes me
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-11-2011, 10:45 PM
I think the scariest kind of homersexuals are the kind that practice sodomy with women. They'll do all sorts of things only homers would do, yet they fail to acknowledge their gayness!
Disgusting!
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Ring-kissing Papist dog
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Posts: 3,358
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Vatican City...where we keep the good stuff!
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-12-2011, 12:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Mary Whitford
...Rides a cooter
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Wait... did I get that right?
We Catholics have long understood that the practice of homosexuality is fruit of the forbidden tree as it were but we have always embraced the concept of hating the sin and loving the sinner.
Perhaps you Baptwits would do well to follow our successful example in dealing with Church members who are dyssexlic.
Remember... one billion fans of Jesus can't be wrong!
Bless you, my confused Chthonics,
Father Mo
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A Cardinal in the making.
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-12-2011, 02:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester
Wait... did I get that right?
.
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Typical papist. Take something out of context then twist it around to suit your own disgusting ends.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 106
Join Date: Oct 2010
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-12-2011, 02:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter
Wears a "fanny" pack
Carries a Swiss "Army" knife
Owns a Kindle
Is a member of the Sierra Club
Plays tennis
Vacations at "Sandals"
His favorite actor is "Shrek"
Owns a "personal grooming" kit
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Holy Bible, batman!?! I own a Kindle, I just bought it off of Amazon last week. Although I am NOT a Homo.
Judge not, Lest ye be Judged.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-12-2011, 03:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Mary Whitford
Typical papist. Take something out of context then twist it around to suit your own disgusting ends.
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In other words, the way Romanists read the Bible (insofar as they do so at all).
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-12-2011, 04:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto
- They have a sexual attraction towards the same sex.
- They have a romantic attraction towards the same sex.
There. That should about cover it.
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That, plus they sin against God by being disgusting limp-wristed perverts.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-12-2011, 01:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto
- They have a sexual attraction towards the same sex.
- They have a romantic attraction towards the same sex.
There. That should about cover it.
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- They know perfectly well that what they do is an abomination unto the Lord.
- So they hate Him for disapproving of their fun.
- So they pretend that He doesn't exist.
- So they persecute Christians, just as you have done.
There. That should about cover it.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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