Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,122
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Are You Surprised Homer Loving Colorado is Being Flooded? I'm Not. -
09-14-2013, 03:12 PM
God has been preparing to put the hammer down on Colorado for a while now.
The place He most wanted to punish was the sinful and liberal Boulder area. I've been there--it's hippy headquarters. Four people dead, more to come. Thank you, God, for doing what you promised us:
http://pflagcolorado.org/about-us
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: Are You Surprised Homer Loving Colorado is Being Flooded? I'm Not. -
09-14-2013, 03:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
the sinful and liberal Boulder area. I've been there
|
Brother, I am deeply troubled to hear that you have been sexually victimized in this way. I went to prison before I was saved and can relate intimately to your unfortunate experience.
On a daily basis I was surrounded by gangs of mongrel queers and sodomized until my colon was completely saturated with seed. I cannot relate the severity of the pain in my tattered sphincter to those who haven't experienced it. It was... horrible. But Christ forgives those among my attackers who surrendered themselves to God's will and repented from the homosexual lifestyle. I fear many Boulderites will never relent from their rapeful ways. It is reassuring to know that their forceful sodomy will be turned on them in Hell.
If you ever want to get together and share stories, I would lend an ear and a strong manly shoulder for you to shed your manly tears upon as you express your Christian testimony.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,122
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Are You Surprised Homer Loving Colorado is Being Flooded? I'm Not. -
09-14-2013, 04:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
Brother, I am deeply troubled to hear that you have been sexually victimized in this way. I went to prison before I was saved and can relate intimately to your unfortunate experience.
On a daily basis I was surrounded by gangs of mongrel queers and sodomized until my colon was completely saturated with seed. I cannot relate the severity of the pain in my tattered sphincter to those who haven't experienced it. It was... horrible. But Christ forgives those among my attackers who surrendered themselves to God's will and repented from the homosexual lifestyle. I fear many Boulderites will never relent from their rapeful ways. It is reassuring to know that their forceful sodomy will be turned on them in Hell.
If you ever want to get together and share stories, I would lend an ear and a strong manly shoulder for you to shed your manly tears upon as you express your Christian testimony.
|
Thank you, Brother Billy Bob--I will accept your offer to unburden my soul with what I experienced in the center of sin, Boulder.
Today I bask in the rightous sunlight of God's vengence on Boulder. I can imagine all those homers trying to save themselves in the flood waters saying, "I was just having fun. I didn't know there would be consequences."
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: Are You Surprised Homer Loving Colorado is Being Flooded? I'm Not. -
09-14-2013, 05:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
Thank you, Brother Billy Bob--I will accept your offer to unburden my soul with what I experienced in the center of sin, Boulder.
Today I bask in the rightous sunlight of God's vengence on Boulder. I can imagine all those homers trying to save themselves in the flood waters saying, "I was just having fun. I didn't know there would be consequences."
|
I am thankful that your rectum was avenged in this life, brother.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Are You Surprised Homer Loving Colorado is Being Flooded? I'm Not. -
09-14-2013, 07:07 PM
Legalize dope; God Will SMITE YOU HARD! Praise His RIGHTEOUSNESS!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 234
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: 539 miles from Jew York City
|
|
Re: Are You Surprised Homer Loving Colorado is Being Flooded? I'm Not. -
09-14-2013, 10:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
Thank you, Brother Billy Bob--I will accept your offer to unburden my soul with what I experienced in the center of sin, Boulder.
Today I bask in the rightous sunlight of God's vengence on Boulder. I can imagine all those homers trying to save themselves in the flood waters saying, "I was just having fun. I didn't know there would be consequences."
|
Billy Bob and Johny Joe,
Perhaps I, too, can share in praises to JESUS as we discuss the ways in which we were formerly violated. I could do this by SKYPE if necessary since I am currently far too unholy to enter the gates of Freehold. Shall I plan to show photos of my torment? You see, I've been to Boulder, too - and my former employer required me to visit San Francisco for mandatory business meetings - often facilitated by openly homer company leaders. At the time, my soul was black with sin, so I have a number of experiences to share.
With empathy,
Brother Larry
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: Are You Surprised Homer Loving Colorado is Being Flooded? I'm Not. -
09-16-2013, 05:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Larry
Billy Bob and Johny Joe,
Perhaps I, too, can share in praises to JESUS as we discuss the ways in which we were formerly violated. I could do this by SKYPE if necessary since I am currently far too unholy to enter the gates of Freehold. Shall I plan to show photos of my torment? You see, I've been to Boulder, too - and my former employer required me to visit San Francisco for mandatory business meetings - often facilitated by openly homer company leaders. At the time, my soul was black with sin, so I have a number of experiences to share.
With empathy,
Brother Larry
|
Friend, no photograph you could show me could possibly shock me after the horrors my anus has endured. I have been molested with kitchen utensils, improvised weaponry, and janitorial equipment galore (including many toxic and abrasive cleaning agents). After many a helicopter ride to a specialized hospital in the San Francisco bay area, incontinence and disease had overtaken my netherregions. But Jesus Christ restored my anal hymen when I repented of my gay rape victimhood. I thank Jesus every day that he forgives me for habitually being gang raped.
There were times when I actually looked forward to the rape. I was so disassociative without Christ that the pain allowed me to feel. Feel something. Anything. Atheists do not have Christ to fill up the emptiness in the human soul, so they fill their bowels with huge stone ithyphalli and may poles.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|