MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part. |
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 490
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: The rotten state of Denmark
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Seeking new girl -
09-28-2010, 06:45 PM
Hi girls
I write here in this forum because I’m seeking a new au-pair girl. Unfortunately I had to fire my former girl after I found out that she had sneaked out several times a week to socialize with the congregation of the local Catholic Church. Had I known that Carmen was a creepy Catholic from the beginning, I had obviously never hired her, but done is done and now she's sent back to Chile.
(It must be said that my wife unfortunately is no longer able to do the household chores because she has severe osteoarthritis)
My expectations for a new girl is:
She must be between 17 and 27 years (it's just a principle)
She can’t be retarded or resemble a retarded (she must really like to show up for our friends and acquaintances)
She must not be overweight (for security reasons)
She must be good at cleaning (it goes without saying)
She must be caring for children (my grandchildren)
She should be a good cook (morning, noon and evening)
She must be available 24 hours a day 6 days a week (I expect however that she is in her room on her day off, in case of emergency)
She must be single (I can't have any husbands or boyfriends running around my property)
Are you the girl I'm looking for, I would encourage you to post here or send me a personal job application.
Sincerely,
Viggo B. Kristoffersen
West Jutland, Denmark
Praise our faithful Landover Baptist women
Ephesians 5:23_(King James Version)"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
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Re: Seeking new girl -
09-28-2010, 06:56 PM
Bless you Brother!
Might I suggest that virginity also be a requirement? I'm sure you don't want a filthy diseased slut around your children.
In Christ!
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 490
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: The rotten state of Denmark
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Re: Seeking new girl -
09-28-2010, 07:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter
Bless you Brother!
Might I suggest that virginity also be a requirement? I'm sure you don't want a filthy diseased slut around your children.
In Christ!
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Your absolutely right Brother Harold - THANK YOU .
She must be a virgin (I don't want any filthy sexual diseases in my household)
Praise our faithful Landover Baptist women
Ephesians 5:23_(King James Version)"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
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Re: Seeking new girl -
09-29-2010, 01:41 PM
What are the chances of you finding a female in Europeastan that can meet those requirements? You had a slim chance at it until you added virgin.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 48
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Denmarkia
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Re: Seeking new girl -
09-29-2010, 03:01 PM
Dear Mr. Kristoffersen
After disguising this generous job offer of yours with my Dad, we decided that I should try to apply for it
I’m a happy 19 year non rebel girl raised by good Caucasian and Christians parents in the southern part of Denmarkia. I just graduated high school with a nice B+ in Creation Science and I’m planning to begin College in November
I’m fairly good at cleaning and I can honestly say that I love kids (can’t wait to make new little soldiers for Jesus myself) However, my cooking is still not adequate since the even the Joo family next door won’t eat the free apple pies mom gives them when I practice in our kitchen. But hey, I’m still young and more than willing to learn.
I’m really looking forward to see you and your family for a job interview.
Yours sincerely
Michelle
Proverbs 10:8 (King James Version):
"The wise in heart will receive commandments: but a prating fool shall fall."
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 490
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: The rotten state of Denmark
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Re: Seeking new girl -
09-29-2010, 03:15 PM
It is wonderful news dear Michelle.
As I can see it, you fulfill most of the requirements I have for a new au-pair girl. But I will obviously need to investigate if you meet all of my desires when you come to the interview.
It will also only me who will be present at the interview. I do not think women should interfere in such transactions. My kids have left home long ago, so it will be just us two, unless of course your father insists on being with .... Of course he is perfectly entitled to get ten fix with but I must be honest, I would not look favorably on a woman your age are so lacking in independence that she should have her parents with her to an innocent interview
Praise our faithful Landover Baptist women
Ephesians 5:23_(King James Version)"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 490
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: The rotten state of Denmark
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Re: Seeking new girl -
09-29-2010, 03:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
What are the chances of you finding a female in Europeastan that can meet those requirements? You had a slim chance at it until you added virgin.
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You're absolutely right Brother Dewitt.
I have no expectations of finding a European to meet my requirements, in fact, I would appreciate a dark glowing girl from a third world country as I expect that such a type will also be a virgin when it comes to her understanding of God's word. On the way I can shape and influence her in the most devoted manner. Although I'm a busy man, I do not see myself as being too important to do good deeds now and then. In God's name of course
Praise our faithful Landover Baptist women
Ephesians 5:23_(King James Version)"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."
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Unsaved trash, teenaged whore
Under Investigation
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Posts: 4
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: In god's ass
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Re: Seeking new girl -
09-29-2011, 05:12 PM
Hi, i'm 17 years old and i live in Sweden.
I'm looking for an Au-Pair job in another country, and i fit in quite good in your demands.
I'm a good cook and i love childrens, i study sience at Chalmers in Gothenburg.
The only problem here is that i'm not a virgin, i have had sexual intercourse with a couple of men, but that wont be a problem.
I have a few more photos if u like to see me, if not you can see my Avatar.
Love Amanda
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: Seeking new girl -
09-29-2011, 05:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaFromHell
The only problem here is that i'm not a virgin, i have had sexual intercourse with a couple of men, but that wont be a problem.
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So is it or isn't it a problem?
The Holy Bible indicates that it is.
Thou shalt not commit adultery. - Exodus 20:14
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 28
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: near the big Walmart with the red sign
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Re: Seeking new girl -
06-16-2012, 03:24 PM
I'm available! Not only do I meet all of your requirements, but I also make a darn good strawberry pie.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Seeking new girl -
06-16-2012, 03:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Go_Away_Sinners!
I'm available! Not only do I meet all of your requirements, but I also make a darn good strawberry pie.
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I'm sure if I was hiring a replacement for Marta I would certainly need to hear a detailed confession of past sins so that we could start with a clean slate.
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 7
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Tennessee
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Re: Seeking new girl -
12-11-2012, 04:32 PM
Interesting job and would give me a place to flourish in my faith
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