Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed! |
|
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
|
|
Men's Reading Material -
05-24-2014, 02:37 PM
Pardon me for posting in the Men's Section gentlemen. I tried to post most of this with my eyes closed.
It seems our Messican cleaning lady happened upon these magazines in a brown paper bag while she was cleaning the men's restroom at church. They were stuffed behind a toilet.
Does anyone know who they belong to?
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,176
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Men's Reading Material -
05-24-2014, 08:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
Pardon me for posting in the Men's Section gentlemen. I tried to post most of this with my eyes closed.
It seems our Messican cleaning lady happened upon these magazines in a brown paper bag while she was cleaning the men's restroom at church. They were stuffed behind a toilet.
Does anyone know who they belong to?
|
As I understand Church policy, we're to turn porn material that might be found on Church property to Pastor Zeke. He will evaluate it and punish the owner.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
Serving Jesus
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
|
|
Re: Men's Reading Material -
05-24-2014, 10:04 PM
I believe that material may have been left behind by Nazi and Jap spies from back in WWII.
They were godless perverts, all of them, and that is the kind of filth they would have been reading. I believe they may have translated the magazines into American so no one else would notice.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
|
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Re: Men's Reading Material -
05-25-2014, 11:24 AM
Am I missing something here? Those look to me like perfectly fine magazines addressing controversial, yet important, issues.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
|
Descended from Rapes
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,548
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold Bible Campground and RV Park.
|
|
Re: Men's Reading Material -
05-25-2014, 03:06 PM
Fire that cleaning lady! We have strict rules about cleaning ladies being blindfolded when cleaning the rest rooms. I think it's time to hire negro men to do the job again!
Sister Thumper! You are to blindfold yourself immediately and put those magazines back where the wetback found them. Then pray that God removes any memory of them from your mind! Never ever speak of this again! I pray that this interference has not disrupted important Church business!
Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Men's Reading Material -
05-26-2014, 01:05 AM
Didn't those come from the Freehold Barber Shop out on Injun Scalp Road?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|