Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > The Thrifty Christian
Reload this Page Are You Close to Cumming? Please Let me Help!
The Thrifty Christian Business, Investing and Finance Tips for True Christians™

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Michael Hezekiah Esq's Avatar
Michael Hezekiah Esq Michael Hezekiah Esq is offline
Unsaved trash, a Rich Joo (Luke 16:24)
 

Christ-Killer Potty mouth Democrat Homer Bleeding heart liebral Sinner Caution - Poster is Crazy Caution - Poster is on Drugs

 
Posts: 258
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: NYC LA SFCA
Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Eagle Are You Close to Cumming? Please Let me Help! - 02-04-2017, 09:11 PM

Hezekiah Legal Services, LLC
3000 Freehold Road
Cumming, Iowa NOW OPEN!
Yes, now you can enjoy the services of a Christian legal office with the expertise and strategies that were once only available in Jewish communities. Our fees are reasonable, our services impeccable! We are only a few miles down the road from Freehold's gates. Meet our attorneys:


Michael Hezekiah, JD: Michael has over 20 years experience representing clients for various types of legal services. Jewish by birth, Christian through the grace of GOD, let Michael help you with your bankruptcy, immigration issues, business law, incorporation, deportation, taxation, criminal, civil, or small claims needs.


Tiffany Matthews, JD: Tiffany will wow the judge with her elegant charm and bless you with her Christian humility as she provides services in general civil law, family law, and landlord/tenant relations. She is a fantastic example of what God can do with an ignorant woman who just won't keep her mouth shut.


Brenda Bertendorfer, JD: Brenda received her law degree from the prestigious Yale University Law School and has been instrumental in successfully helping clients with disability issues, problems with worker's compensation, and personal injury litigation. In a wreck? Need a check? Call Brenda today!


Our paralegal: Jacqueline des Amies-Pardu: Jacqueline is a vivacious blonde with amazing qualities. Her friendly, caring spirit exudes Christian love. She is particularly fond of helping young men who are just starting out in business and can draft articles of incorporation, partnership papers, and other documents with efficiency and expertise.


ALL LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH MEMBERS RECEIVE A SPECIAL DISCOUNT UPON PAYMENT OF RETAINER! WOW!

"When problems come nigh ya, Call on Hezekiah!"





A half truth is a whole lie.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
MitzaLizalor's Avatar
MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady Pro-Life True Scientist™ True Christian™ True Christian Artist True Christian Beauty Most Obedient Batman Shooting Survivor Kangi Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Early riser Nuts for JESUS! Touched by Jesus Color wheel Trumpette Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Stamp of Approval Tagging for Jesus In Love With Zeke BFF of Jesus God's chosen ones Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Grammar Nazi GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Aardvark

 
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Are You Close to Cumming? Please Let me Help! - 02-06-2017, 01:44 AM

Sometimes it's difficult to forget the past and although I have no idea what goes on in a synagogue I would understand if some of the cultural aspects of your previous delusion left a void in your life, a void which Jesus is aching to fill.

What better way to remind ourselves of this wonderful new life than music? So often in waiting areas we sit reading a 1999 edition of Onions Quarterly and haven't you thought "How much better than this is song?" I know I have.




At right is a singer who's message is always delivered from the heart and I'm sure with such a busy itinerary she's often close to Cumming. My suggestion would be to perhaps obtain the appropriate licence for broadcasting one of the syndicated radio stations where she is a regular performer?

I know that you are looking forward to a mansion, fairly close to Jesus, but if you still accept clients from outside the fold they will not always be entirely innocent and such a delightful musical witness as is available here might be just what they need to lift their thoughts from the gutter.

I am very happy to include an example for you which follows immediately.

Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Michael Hezekiah Esq's Avatar
Michael Hezekiah Esq Michael Hezekiah Esq is offline
Unsaved trash, a Rich Joo (Luke 16:24)
 

Christ-Killer Potty mouth Democrat Homer Bleeding heart liebral Sinner Caution - Poster is Crazy Caution - Poster is on Drugs

 
Posts: 258
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: NYC LA SFCA
Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Are You Close to Cumming? Please Let me Help! - 02-06-2017, 02:55 AM

Sister Mitza,


For the experience if nothing else, you should find a temple/synagogue near you and visit. You would be welcomed (or ignored, depending on the day) and you could hear the wonderful reading of God's Word and some incredibly touching music.


Would you consider doing your hair like these lovely women?


A half truth is a whole lie.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Thomas Taylor's Avatar
Thomas Taylor Thomas Taylor is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Christian Love Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts A for Effort

 
Posts: 1,485
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Reaping Bountifully
Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Are You Close to Cumming? Please Let me Help! - 02-06-2017, 06:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq View Post
Sister Mitza,


For the experience if nothing else, you should find a temple/synagogue near you and visit. You would be welcomed (or ignored, depending on the day) and you could hear the wonderful reading of God's Word and some incredibly touching music.


Would you consider doing your hair like these lovely women?

I am starting to have doubts about the sincerity of your conversion. Why are you trying to invite the Good Sister Mitza to visit one of those unspeakable hell holes?
Please answer post haste to dispel any doubts myself and others may be having.
Remember God hates liars:


Proverbs 6:16 - 6:19
16 These six [things] doth the LORD hate: yea, seven [are] an abomination unto him:
17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19 A false witness [that] speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.


In addition:


Proverbs 12:22
“Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.”


So beware Ex Joo if that is what you really are. I can smell your iniquity from afar.


YIC
Thomas


Isaiah 66:15

For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: Are You Close to Cumming? Please Let me Help! - 02-06-2017, 02:23 PM

Dearest Brother Taylor,


You are adorable when your righteous indignation rises to the forefront. I mean that, of course, in a no-homo way. But permit me to allay some of your suspicions. Having worked with Mr. Hezekiah in the past, I can vouch for his conversion. When I first met him, he was a filthy, smelly, cunning Joo - just what I needed for my legal matters, you see.


Because of the ministries of Landover Baptist Church and the love that our community showered upon Mr. Hezekiah, he began to read the Bible - the whole thing, not just those hard parts - and as he has indicated in his testimony, came to the fullness of knowledge that Jesus Christ, our beautiful Savior, was indeed the prophesied Messiah. He threw his vile, untrustworthy soul upon the altar of forgiveness, where the love of Jesus penetrated his heart, making him a new creation. Now, to explain his recommendations for our beautiful sister in Christ, Mitzalizalor:


The Holy Ghost uttered this in mine ear: "Sister Mitza is an eclectic soul, blessed by God with a deep understanding of things poetic, dramatic, and spiritually meaningful. Brother Hezekiah was inspired by Me, the Holy Ghost, to invite Mitza to a temple where she could be blessed by the beauty of the Word and the blessings of the psalms in a safe environment, far from the sinful accountant's office, away from the haberdashery, and miles from the solicitor's sordid influence. Assure Brother Taylor that I will whisper these same things in his ear if he will but seek me."


So I think if you pray, you'll find that all is well. Brother Michael has already begun to show his worth to the Landover community by assisting our Pastor with some long-overlooked legal matters. Let us lift him up in prayer as we do our tested and tried brethren.


I am lifting you up, Tom, in my thoughts just now. Do you feel me now?


BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Thomas Taylor's Avatar
Thomas Taylor Thomas Taylor is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Christian Love Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts A for Effort

 
Posts: 1,485
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Reaping Bountifully
Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Are You Close to Cumming? Please Let me Help! - 02-07-2017, 05:51 AM

Brother Larry,
Thank you for your totally non homo advice. I have taken on board all that you have to offer and after further consideration come to the conclusion that there are a few minor indiscretions with which the good Hezekiah may be able to assist me.


So, as they say, I am coming to Cumming.


Isaiah 66:15

For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
MitzaLizalor's Avatar
MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady Pro-Life True Scientist™ True Christian™ True Christian Artist True Christian Beauty Most Obedient Batman Shooting Survivor Kangi Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Early riser Nuts for JESUS! Touched by Jesus Color wheel Trumpette Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Stamp of Approval Tagging for Jesus In Love With Zeke BFF of Jesus God's chosen ones Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Grammar Nazi GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Aardvark

 
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Are You Close to Cumming? Please Let me Help! - 02-07-2017, 10:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq View Post
you should find a temple/synagogue near you
If you happened to do an image search you'd find that they plug the scenery around here a bit but the presence of wild koalas is a bit of a give-away really: convict dumps tend not to focus on building synagogues. And convicts tend to educate subsequent generations according to their lights.

To give you some idea, at the time of the Californian gold-rush escaped convicts &/or squatters realised that gold was to be found and many prospectors nipped across the Pacific to try their luck. To what extent would you describe absconding gold prospectors as the cream of society?
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Michael Hezekiah Esq's Avatar
Michael Hezekiah Esq Michael Hezekiah Esq is offline
Unsaved trash, a Rich Joo (Luke 16:24)
 

Christ-Killer Potty mouth Democrat Homer Bleeding heart liebral Sinner Caution - Poster is Crazy Caution - Poster is on Drugs

 
Posts: 258
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: NYC LA SFCA
Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Eagle Re: Are You Close to Cumming? Please Let me Help! - 02-07-2017, 02:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas Taylor View Post
Brother Larry,
Thank you for your totally non homo advice. I have taken on board all that you have to offer and after further consideration come to the conclusion that there are a few minor indiscretions with which the good Hezekiah may be able to assist me.


So, as they say, I am coming to Cumming.

Mr. Taylor,
Prior to your arrival (I see you're in the godless middle east) be sure that your travel is not interrupted by any kind of ban. I can arrange for your safe arrival if there is a problem. On what day would you like to have legal intercourse?
May God watch over us as we work to undo your indiscretions. May I inquire about the garb you are donning in your photo? One more thing:
Please - call me Mike.
Yours,
MH


A half truth is a whole lie.
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Michael Hezekiah Esq's Avatar
Michael Hezekiah Esq Michael Hezekiah Esq is offline
Unsaved trash, a Rich Joo (Luke 16:24)
 

Christ-Killer Potty mouth Democrat Homer Bleeding heart liebral Sinner Caution - Poster is Crazy Caution - Poster is on Drugs

 
Posts: 258
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: NYC LA SFCA
Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Eagle Re: Are You Close to Cumming? Please Let me Help! - 02-08-2017, 03:32 PM

The law office in Cumming, Iowa, is closed effective immediately.
Any services initiated will be referred to local lawyers and retainers refunded.
NYC, LA, and SFCA offices will remain fully operational.


A half truth is a whole lie.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Thomas Taylor's Avatar
Thomas Taylor Thomas Taylor is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Christian Love Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts A for Effort

 
Posts: 1,485
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Reaping Bountifully
Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Are You Close to Cumming? Please Let me Help! - 02-09-2017, 04:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq View Post
Mr. Taylor,
Prior to your arrival (I see you're in the godless middle east) be sure that your travel is not interrupted by any kind of ban. I can arrange for your safe arrival if there is a problem. On what day would you like to have legal intercourse?
May God watch over us as we work to undo your indiscretions. May I inquire about the garb you are donning in your photo? One more thing:
Please - call me Mike.
Yours,
MH

Dear Yid,


Having seen your blatant rejection of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ let me just state for the record that I have had nor will I ever have any form of legal intercourse such as you suggest above. Are you sick?
I saw this little joke and thought of you.
Attached Images
 


Isaiah 66:15

For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Are You Close to Cumming? Please Let me Help! - 02-09-2017, 05:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas Taylor View Post
Dear Yid,


Having seen your blatant rejection of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ let me just state for the record that I have had nor will I ever have any form of legal intercourse such as you suggest above. Are you sick?
I saw this little joke and thought of you.

Brother Tom,
As a True Christian™ I have already vouched for the genuineness of Mr. Hezekiah's conversion. Due to some "abuse" he perceives here, he has become a bit of a whiny little <<female dog reference>> of late, but once saved, always saved. I must gently rebuke you in Jesus Name for implying otherwise.
Say, while you're in the states, how about spending the night in my secure NYC apartment? I would love to fellowship on our knees together, Friend.
True Christian™ Love,
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved