[Bob4God]

As we all know, public libraries are repositories of filth and lies funded by big government liberals. Any child can walk into a library and rent a book (FREE OF CHARGE!) about evolution, sex, occultism, science, homosexuality, and literally any other disgusting topic you can imagine.

Of course there are a few worthwhile books to be found at your local library that contain the Good News of JESUS CHRIST, but they are always tucked away in remote areas where the lost are not likely to find them.

I can hear the voice of GOD calling me to action, and He is telling me that it's time for us to work a miracle through His power!

My plan is this: A small and unassuming group of True Christians will go to the Freehold Public Library, which has been overrun with liberalism, and comb the shelves of books for wholesome, True Christian literature to check out.

Once we have checked out all of the books about JESUS and True Christian living, we will return a few nights later and set fire to the library after it has closed and we're sure nobody is inside. After the library has burned down and all the books inside are cooked to a crisp, we will find an opportunity to return with the Christian books we checked out and scatter them throughout the rubble and ashes, so that the world will see that only wholesome Christian books miraculously survived the fire!

Just as it does whenever a handful of people survive a tragedy that kills hundreds or thousands, the news will spread across the nation and around the globe about the Miracle at the Library, and millions will understand that only the GODly will escape the fire!

Can I get an amen, and a few volunteers?

[Nobar King]

I'm concerned about being connected to this conspiracy. How about if I just bring some books from my bookshelf and toss them on the remains of the library?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Brother, this sounds like a capital idea! Surely a Spirit-Filled plan if ever I heard one. I'll do my part by checking out decent and morally sound books. On the night of your choosing, I will send my kids to follow your instructions. The smaller ones can squeeze in and out of tight places, won't complain of getting dirty, and can sneak around as silently and unobtrusively as a Jew at an estate auction.

[Alvin Moss]

If Democrats have infiltrated the public library, using whatever filthy means they have at their disposal, I feel that the Mayor should be notified.


Mighten it be better for Mayor Hold to purge the staff at the library and dismiss any moles? After the liberals are disposed of we could check the restrooms for homosexuals, arrest any violators or trouble makers, make sure there is no subversive literature on the shelves (burning any that is found) and let the library reopen as a bastion of Christian virtue.

[Bob4God]

Originally Posted by Alvin Moss

If Democrats have infiltrated the public library, using whatever filthy means they have at their disposal, I feel that the Mayor should be notified.


Mighten it be better for Mayor Hold to purge the staff at the library and dismiss any moles? After the liberals are disposed of we could check the restrooms for homosexuals, arrest any violators or trouble makers, make sure there is no subversive literature on the shelves (burning any that is found) and let the library reopen as a bastion of Christian virtue.

I think that would be a fine idea AFTER the miracle. I mean, yes we can purge the library up front and save a few, or we can bring about a miracle and save thousands!

It would be nice, however, if Mr. Mayor would notify the fire department not to respond to any calls about the library...

[Jedediah]

This is truly a Spirit-guided idea. With any luck, Jesus will see fit to make sure cross-shaped I-beams will survive the destruction, much like He did when the towers fell. We can then plaster the image all over the news and make the tragedy all about Christianity, eventually leading to the erection of a monument.

[VictoryOS]

Are there even any decent book sleft in the communist cesspool known as "the library"? I thought all the books there were about Karl Marx and homosexuality.

[Bob4God]

Originally Posted by VictoryOS

Are there even any decent book sleft in the communist cesspool known as "the library"? I thought all the books there were about Karl Marx and homosexuality.

There are a few, sister! "The Case for CHRIST" can be found in better libraries everywhere, as well as "The Rage Against GOD," by the only decent Hitchens that ever lived, Peter. (Though even he is not that wonderful, since he is not Baptist.)

I understand that you have a difficult time getting around without your motorized cart, and the Freehold library does not have ramp access ever since the True Christians in this town demanded the ramps be removed. However, if you still want to participate, I'm sure a few GODly young men could be recruited to lift you and your cart up the steps so you can roll up and down the aisles dumping Christian books into that little basket on the front of your cart that you usually fill with snack cakes and chips.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by VictoryOS

Are there even any decent book sleft in the communist cesspool known as "the library"? I thought all the books there were about Karl Marx and homosexuality.

Sister, beware of Lezbertarians.

[BrotherLarry]

I have to confess a little surprise that Landover would allow filth in the public library. Is there no ordinance banning this? Furthermore, why would your children be permitted to check out books like this?

Wouldn't Des Moines or LA or NYC be a better target? Through interlibrary loan, we could check out books from all over the country, using anti-tracking software to initiate the transactions. Then, once we return our Benny Hinn, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and other Christian oriented books, people will have no choice but to obtain wholesome literary fare. Maybe my young mind is just being too optimistic, but GOD deserves a radical course of action so others can see Christianity for what it is: Servitude to the Master! Glory!