[Rastus]

[quote=BunBoyUGK;211222]Below is a picture of me and my wife Queenie (I'm on the right):





I'm glad you pointed out which one of you was pretending to be a man, since you dress like a girl and she? dresses like a man going out to a leather bar.

[Bob Kaare]

I think I like the way you're wifes behave towards you

[ExGay Alex]

Originally Posted by Nobar King

Don't sleep in. We don't need no lazy slobs.

You are correct, Brother Nobar. And the Christian woman can practice faith-based dieting, which works better that heathen diets that are popular now. Amazon has a book called "Born Again Bodies" to help the heavy-set Christian gal to lose those extra pounds. Pat Robertson offers diet products here: http://www.patsshake.com/ (have your credit card handy). Naturally we would not endorse any such things -- and I think Pat Robertson is a little liberal -- but it's just evidence that there are resources out there for the Christian woman.

And don't forget Sister Heather Hardwick herself, who helps the Christian lady to orient herself Biblically here: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0201/heather.html.

If I ever were to get married (and I am trying real hard between my ministering to Russia's lost young men) I can assure you that I would have to insist that she not let herself go. The last girl I dated was a little too "buxom" for me. (Plus her dacha smelled like carp and I could smell it as we walked down the road. Who could kiss a woman like that? But I digress.)

[papparat]

When she has finished dieting, she should attend her local Tattoo & Taco Establishment & have a Holy Verse put upon her by needles, to experience the Joy of Pain & for Her Husband to contemplate when practising Conjugal Rights, as per the Mem Sah'b has had done


Praise be He can recite out load from the script in front of him whilst practising procreation Shout Hallelujah !

[Joshua Brooks]

Originally Posted by BunBoyUGK

Below is a picture of me and my wife Queenie (I'm on the right):

Thank you for letting us know which one you were. I must admit I do have a hard time telling the groidesses from the groids sometimes.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by papparat

Praise be He can recite out load from the script in front of him whilst practising procreation Shout Hallelujah !

Sweet Jesus in the morning! I had to wash my eyes out with vinegar after gazing upon that lovely being surprised by that revolting image!

To make matters worse, that whore has condemned herself to hell for having a FALSE VERSION cut into her flesh! This is how the KJV1611 Bible puts it. No porn involved, praise God.

1 Corinthians 13

13:1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
13:2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
13:3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
13:5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
13:6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
13:7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
13:8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
13:9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
13:10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
13:11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
13:12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13:13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

The KJV is the one true Bible! Accept no substitutes at tattoo parlours!!

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by papparat

Praise be He can recite out load from the script in front of him whilst practising procreation Shout Hallelujah !

I thought you folks frowned on doggy-style.

[papparat]

Not all are chosen to be Missionaries

[Nobar King]

If you do choose to spit on Jesus and get your body covered with ink, make sure that you hire a tattoo artist who graduated from high school:

[papparat]

Well spotted, I couldn't squint too well to make it out clearly. Good show stout fellow of excellent repute

Gen.48

1. [10] Now the eyes of Israel were dim for age, so that he could not see. And he brought them near unto him; and he kissed them, and embraced them.

[Nobar King]

I did have to zoom in 200% to see it clearly.

[Bernadette Cassidy]

Though you brothers and sisters have covered most of the necessary tips, I have just a few to add.

1) Always make sure the MAN is in control of the finances. Lord knows what us women would do with all that money our husbands make!

2) Remember to always keep your purity, especially in regards to the viewing of his manly organ. I've heard blindfolds come in handy when there is a need to engage in procreation activities.

3) Learn to cook BEFORE you hook a man. With finishing schools having gone "out of fashion" there's a large number of ladies who lack this vital skill! The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so if you can't cook, don't bother to look.

Just a few more to round out a good lot of tips

In Him,

Bernadette

[Johnnyboy]

Hello and welcome Miss Cassidy,

Are you a True Christian? What church do you attend? Are you married? Can you bake buttermilk biscuits? Do you know how to make sausage gravy? Have you ever cleaned fish?

Sincerely,
Johnny Ray James

[Miss April]

Those Are Such Great Tips Sister BibleThumpinBlonde Thanks So much for Posting Them I will Need Two Know This Stuff When I get A husband Someday

[Miss April]

Originally Posted by Bernadette Cassidy

Though you brothers and sisters have covered most of the necessary tips, I have just a few to add.

1) Always make sure the MAN is in control of the finances. Lord knows what us women would do with all that money our husbands make!

2) Remember to always keep your purity, especially in regards to the viewing of his manly organ. I've heard blindfolds come in handy when there is a need to engage in procreation activities.

3) Learn to cook BEFORE you hook a man. With finishing schools having gone "out of fashion" there's a large number of ladies who lack this vital skill! The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so if you can't cook, don't bother to look.

Just a few more to round out a good lot of tips

In Him,

Bernadette

Welcame Two Gods Favorite Forum Bernadette Cassidy Thanks Alot for The Tips You Should Post a Introduction In The Introduction Forum We Whould love Two Know More About You

[VictoryOS]

Originally Posted by Bernadette Cassidy

2) Remember to always keep your purity, especially in regards to the viewing of his manly organ. I've heard blindfolds come in handy when there is a need to engage in procreation activities.

When I have a husband, I plan to close my eyes and gently recite a prayer to keep myself distracted.

[MissSarah]

Thank you for posting this, I will following all rules accordingly and shall be a dutiful wife someday.

[chamalamala]

1. Always submit to your man's wishes.

2. Keep your big mouth shut when he says! You must respect him by being quiet and not saying anything unneccessary, or else that duct tape will be out and silencing you faster than you know it!



*thumbs up*

[Felicity]

@chamalamala Welcome! I hope we can be friends!

Since you are new here please look at our please read this before posting and our your rights on this forum threads! If you already did that, just do it again. There you can learn that this forum is not about debating or unsaved opinions but about praising Jesus!

If you didn't do that yet, it would be great if you could make a thread of your own in the introductions section of the forum! That way everyone here can meet you and see how much you love Jesus!

[Petal]

Originally Posted by Bernadette Cassidy

2) Remember to always keep your purity, especially in regards to the viewing of his manly organ. I've heard blindfolds come in handy when there is a need to engage in procreation activities.

does your husbind put the blindfolds on his organs , or do you?